Love: Today, my girlfriend and I somehow got into the conversation...

By Random737193 - 07/05/2015 19:52 - United States - Haddonfield

Today, my girlfriend and I somehow got into the conversation of what the weirdest thing we have ever found in food was. She said she found paper in her fortune cookie; she was serious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 176

You deserved it 3 008

Labour Day: Rest or Disaster?
Find out how a day off can turn into a series of hilarious, unexpected events. More…

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Same thing different taste

By Newly Minted Canuck - 22/04/2017 20:00

Today, my daughter found a hair baked into the crust of her pizza. Grossed out, she put it down the garbage disposal, but I told her to dig it out so we could get a refund. After dinner, she came looking for the saved pizza crust. I was baffled about where it was until I realized I'd eaten it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 285

You deserved it 4 664

By Anonymous - 24/05/2011 04:38

Today, my boss ate a small piece of paper off her desk, thinking it was frosting. I have to work for this woman. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 514

You deserved it 3 827

Masterchef 2020

By Anonymous - 26/11/2020 18:58 - United States - Maryville

Today, I was eating some cake that my roommate's girlfriend brought by for us. I felt something weird in my mouth, so I stopped chewing to grab it. It was a fingernail. FML

I agree, your life sucks 966

You deserved it 61

By frootloops - 21/11/2009 21:44 - United States

Today, I realized that my girlfriend had never said anything about the proposal ring I had put into a box of her Froot Loops. When I hinted it to her, she said that the cereal had expired, so she threw out the box. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 859

You deserved it 27 725

By Wheresthecreamfilling - 03/11/2016 06:03

Today, my girlfriend and I had sex. Later, she said the highlight of her day was getting a cupcake from the grocery store. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 093

You deserved it 1 898

Snack time

By oops... - 12/09/2014 05:50 - Canada - Sylvan Lake

Today, my daughter was going to Bulk Barn so I asked her to pick me up something to snack on. When she got home, she brought over a bag and without listening to her explain what it was, I began eating it. She looked at me confused, then began laughing. It was a dog treat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 602

You deserved it 29 747

By brownieswillneverbethesame - 04/09/2011 06:18 - United States

Today, I was eating a brownie my grandmother had made, only to discover an inch long piece of what resembled dead skin in the middle of it. This discovery was only made after taking a bite and wondering why the consistency was wrong. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 146

You deserved it 2 475

By btg - 06/02/2010 06:27 - United States

Today, I found out that my girlfriend feeds her boogers to our dog. Sometimes she even makes her do tricks for them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 236

You deserved it 3 545

By FawnPrincess - 17/11/2017 15:00

Today, my boyfriend bought my favorite doughnuts for our anniversary. After settling down and pouring a glass of wine, I grabbed a doughnut and quickly realized the filling inside wasn't jelly. He thought it would be funny to replace it with toothpaste. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 216

You deserved it 443

Good one

By bf. - 19/12/2013 02:59 - Canada - London

Today, I met my girlfriend's parents for the first time. Dinner was going well until her dad secretly fed the asparagus to the dog under the table, and then "discovered" what a childish thing I had done. My girlfriend believed him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 212

You deserved it 3 000

fifi125 21

Friday 8 May 2015 8:29

"I found ham between some bread once"

Pyneapple 19

Friday 8 May 2015 8:39

One time I found a stripper in my cake. So delicious; the cake was alright I guess.

Comments

cakefete2 30

Friday 8 May 2015 8:49

Just imagine if she really did find paper in her cookie. Not a fortune, but like some random loose leaf or construction paper, and she was just too traumatized to explain correctly. Let's hope anyway.

Exaspera 54

Friday 8 May 2015 8:51

When her IQ reaches 70 she should sell.

Isandri 29

Friday 8 May 2015 8:52

Also, lucky her if this is the only thing she can complain about! Just enlighten her a little bit OP :D

1dvs_bstd 41

Friday 8 May 2015 8:54

One time, I saw a dead guy in my soup. Called the waiter and got a new bowl of soup. True story.

abNormal62 23

Saturday 9 May 2015 12:45

Was it alphabet soup?

KatieKoala 19

Friday 8 May 2015 8:56

Well she's FORTUNE-ate that she at least got a paper in her fortune cookie. One time I opened mine and there was nothing in it.

starile 19

Saturday 9 May 2015 14:27

*gasp* YOU HAVE NO FUTURE

Silk_Routes 14

Friday 8 May 2015 9:04

what sort of paper!

_Peppermint_ 34

Friday 8 May 2015 9:09

She must really not get out much

crackajak 15

Friday 8 May 2015 9:10

So she's a "butter-brain"?

FitFriday 32

Friday 8 May 2015 9:14

One time I found 20 LIVE beetles in the box of pasta that my mom bought for me.

Daelynn_17 19

Friday 8 May 2015 10:07

That has actually happened to me too when I bought some rice from HEB. I was so grossed out I had my husband take it back. I thought I was tripping when I saw brown rice bowling on the stove in my white rice... I got a closer look in the bag to see if I had actually purchased the wrong kind of rice, and saw little brown bugs moving all through out the entire bag. Ugggh, It still creeps me OUT to this day. AND now I thoroughly vet anything I buy from the grocery store. Yuuuk.