Today, my friends took me to a strip club for my 25th birthday. I went onstage with 5 dollars in my mouth to tip the dancer. She then took off my belt and pants and spanked me 25 times with the buckle end of the belt. I paid a stripper 5 dollars to whoop my ass. FML
Collection
Black Friday
70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Today, my friends and I went to the strip club for my birthday. I now know how my sister is paying for her new car. FML
Today, my cousin and his fiancée took me to my first strip club experience. One of the strippers came over and danced for me. She pulled her thong string out and I tried to place the dollar in it with my mouth. I missed, to which she said "Put it in there, retard." FML
Today, I was at the strip club. I put my dollar on the stage. When the stripper came over to take it, she stood me up and flipped my tits and said I had bigger ones than her. I'm a guy. FML
Today, I brought my best friend to the strip club as a birthday gift, as he had mentioned that he'd never been to one before. It might have been ruined by the discovery that his daughter had a new job. FML
Today, a stripper came into my work to get some posters copied. She asked if she could pay in small bills. I just touched $50 that have probably rubbed up against a stripper's twat. FML
Today, my girlfriend hated the idea of sex so much she was willing to give me money for a stripper. FML
Today, I went to a strip club for the first time ever and was about to enjoy a private dance when the stripper stepped onto my chair, between my legs, to climb up onto platform. Sexy. Unfortunately, she missed the chair and stood on my balls, full weight, without noticing. I didn't 'enjoy' anything after that. FML
Today, I was given a lapdance by a pregnant stripper. FML
Today, at my bachelorette party, I got so wasted, I ended up giving my stripper a lap dance because he "wasn't doing it properly". There's photos. FML
Today, I went out to celebrate my birthday with a big group of friends. After waiting in line to get into a club, the bouncer looked me up and down and said, "No fat chicks." My friends went into the club without me and left me to take a $100 taxi home alone. FML
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Top comments
brennboo 3
haha win for the stripper :) she got paid to beat your ass hahaha
brennboo 3
I guess 5 bucks wasn't enough for her :)
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Comments (115)
MusicLover1o1_fml 0
Instead of 25 punches you got 25 ass whoppings. Sounds like your friends set you up. Sucks to be you.
TylersBoo 0
YDI! Should have payed more :)
Luvmehateme292 0
EWWWWW!!!!!! You put that money in your MOUTH?!?!? GROSS!!! You don't know WHO'S touched that or WHAT they've been doing with their hands!!!
steelerzwoot 0
Sounds like a nice night haha
cheeseywesle 0
I see a retarded stripper lol
briannajm 9
Hahahahah you know you liked it ;)
PamChopsWithMint 5
I find it more gross that you put paper money in your mouth.
Szaszaspasz 26
Ouch!
Balthizaar 15
did this happen to be at the gentleman's club in brantford??
kittykat1501 31
mowwow( cat for hi and for that's funny)