Today, my friends took me to a strip club for my 25th birthday. I went onstage with 5 dollars in my mouth to tip the dancer. She then took off my belt and pants and spanked me 25 times with the buckle end of the belt. I paid a stripper 5 dollars to whoop my ass. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, my friends and I went to the strip club for my birthday. I now know how my sister is paying for her new car. FML
Today, my cousin and his fiancée took me to my first strip club experience. One of the strippers came over and danced for me. She pulled her thong string out and I tried to place the dollar in it with my mouth. I missed, to which she said "Put it in there, retard." FML
Today, I was at the strip club. I put my dollar on the stage. When the stripper came over to take it, she stood me up and flipped my tits and said I had bigger ones than her. I'm a guy. FML
Today, I brought my best friend to the strip club as a birthday gift, as he had mentioned that he'd never been to one before. It might have been ruined by the discovery that his daughter had a new job. FML
Today, a stripper came into my work to get some posters copied. She asked if she could pay in small bills. I just touched $50 that have probably rubbed up against a stripper's twat. FML
Today, my girlfriend hated the idea of sex so much she was willing to give me money for a stripper. FML
Today, I went to a strip club for the first time ever and was about to enjoy a private dance when the stripper stepped onto my chair, between my legs, to climb up onto platform. Sexy. Unfortunately, she missed the chair and stood on my balls, full weight, without noticing. I didn't 'enjoy' anything after that. FML
Today, I was given a lapdance by a pregnant stripper. FML
Today, at my bachelorette party, I got so wasted, I ended up giving my stripper a lap dance because he "wasn't doing it properly". There's photos. FML
Today, I went out to celebrate my birthday with a big group of friends. After waiting in line to get into a club, the bouncer looked me up and down and said, "No fat chicks." My friends went into the club without me and left me to take a $100 taxi home alone. FML
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Top comments
brennboo 3
haha win for the stripper :) she got paid to beat your ass hahaha
brennboo 3
I guess 5 bucks wasn't enough for her :)
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Comments (115)
Akai_fml 4
I think this was posted on the wrong site--it should end with IMMD!
beeffyboy 0
ooooo sounds like a fun nite
krismir29 0
my friend paid five to be made to climb up a strip pole naked. you're better off
LoonyLuna123 0
lots of guys pay way more for that kind of treatment
gman79 0
some people will pay extra for that, your life rocks
audawe 0
Little do you know, this happens pretty frequently.
melly219 0
well u no wh they say u get wht u pay for
Buchitoo 4
We have the same birthday. YAY for us!!!
ajfraser 3
what did you think she would do for 5 bucks?
FLCL4711Fox 0
"thank you ma'am, may I have another?" ahhh, massacism at it's finest