Today, my friend thought it would be funny to dress in all black with a ski mask and use my spare key to break into my house as a joke. He though it was even funnier when I jumped out the window and broke my leg. FML
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Black Friday
70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Today, for April fools I decided to set off the smoke detectors in my friend's apartment while he was sleeping and saran wrap the outside of his bedroom doorway so he would smack into it. Instead, he jumped out the window and broke his leg. FML
Today, I was locked out of my house. With no other available option, I decided to try and ninja my way through a window. However, as it turns out, I would make a terrible ninja. I now have a sprained ankle and a broken window. FML
Today, I found myself locked out of my house. I had to squeeze myself through a tiny window around the back. While hanging upside down, my hood fell over my head. My dog ran through to investigate the noise and ravaged me thinking I was a burglar. I then fell and broke my wrist. FML
Today, I broke my leg while trying to show my friend how I broke my other leg. FML
Today, I was over at a friend's place until very late. He had stolen my keys as a joke at some point, but by the time I noticed, he was too drunk to remember where he'd hidden them. FML
Today, I wanted nothing more than to go home and get into bed. While I was unlocking my front door, the flimsy key snapped off inside the lock. A locksmith was called out, who did nothing but sadistically guffaw at my misfortune and crack sarcastic jokes as he undid the lock. FML
Today, my best friend thought it would be funny push me off my bike. He thought it was even funnier when the paramedic accidentally dropped me. FML
Today, my friend told me he had just robbed a bank and needed a place to hide. Thinking he was joking, I let him in so we could hang out. Fifteen minutes later, the cops storm into my apartment. Now I'm an accomplice in a crime I thought was a joke. FML
Today, I was working out and doing box jumps. My friend thought it would be funny to kick the box aside as I tried to jump onto it. Now I have 2 broken teeth. FML
Today, a friend thought it would be funny to shove me over; I face-planted. I was going to say "Fuck you" and "I will kill you." It came out as "I will fuck you." He's still laughing. FML
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Top comments
TheKingDon 2
You should have legally killed him. That would show him not to make stupid ******* jokes.
xxmollyxx 25
Well, that is funny :P
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Comments (114)
aback 5
Then he'll think it's really ******* hilarious when you report him for breaking and entering.
rainmeasunshine 0
LMAO, i guess u showed him u knew how to get away during a break-in situation[:
joy_nash 7
im pretty sure i saw this one before...seriously.
popoman 0
Yeah, not the best attempt at humor. Rest in peace, Bill Murray.
the_stereotype 0
while i would have laughed seeing you jump out the window, it's a pretty stupid prank considering how it could have gone down
nazooer 11
Why did he have a kay?
loooooooooool_fml 1
SPARE key. The friend probably lifted it from OP sometime...or the OP keeps a key hidden somewhere outside of his house, under a flowerpot or something like that. While I do find this kinda funny, when jokes end like this...well...sucks to be you OP.
TC1_fml 0
Well, grow some balls & put a crowbar though his face the next time he (or a real bugrlar) tries this...
i_got_it 0
Well if you smoked weed more often you would be a lot more relaxed.
Jonno8825 0
#29 = win
Bob31_fml 4
so what you're saying is, he isn't/wasn't much of a friend.
pshimKayDee 0
i'm sorry but i laughed a little.that really sucks though!he better pay for your hospital bills.