Today, I was on a date with a guy having a great time. I went... - FML

By diva467 - United States

Today, I was on a date with a guy having a great time. I went up to go to the ladies' room, but as I walked back to the table, I heard some giggles. I looked and found out why. My skirt was tucked into my underwear. I was wearing my lucky Star Wars-themed panties. FML

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Hi mom!

Misheard

Summertime sadness

By juwkgo - United States

Today, as I was about to leave my house in my brand new heels, I stepped on a dead mouse. My heel went through it. FML

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By Jared - United States

Today, I picked up my car after I got it painted. As I backed up in the parking lot, my car scraped against a pillar. Now I have to put it right back in the shop. FML

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By oppafucktardstyle - United States - Waterloo

Today, I had to pick my parents up from the hospital and drive them back home, after they were treated for eating large amounts of cheese that my dad claimed to have "aged" for several years. FML

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By Anonymous - 18/7/2020 14:01

Out of the frying pan…

Today, I thought I finally had a decent boyfriend. He didn’t seem like an emotionally unavailable alcoholic like my past boyfriends. Then I found out he’s an unemployed Trump supporter. FML

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By admin1771 - United States - Alexandria

Today, I'm supposed to go to my girlfriend's house for Christmas with her family. I got a text from her saying that her dad found our used condom package from last night. I'm supposed to be there in 3 hours. FML

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By lifesucks - United States

Today, I walked into work after being completly wasted last night. I was sitting in a meeting when all of a sudden the presenter had gotten an e-mail saying "crazy girl dances on tables at local bar". So obviously everyone wanted to watch it. That crazy girl was me. FML

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By creeped out - United States - Smithtown

Today, my identical twin sister's boyfriend walked over to me, and whispered in my ear, "I know what you look like naked." FML

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By Anonymous - 8/8/2020 17:02

Alexa, play 'Communication Breakdown' by Led Zeppelin

Today, my man complained that I was "not easily approachable", sexually speaking. To clarify, his usual way of signalling his desire is to just lie there, quiet and not moving, and (probably) thinking exciting thoughts. I can't tell if he likes me touching him, unless he signals a lack of interest by falling asleep, that is. FML

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By CB - New Zealand

Today, I have to go to the dentist to get a tooth capped. Why? Because my room mate knows I sleepwalk and thought it would be funny to put a trip wire across the top of the stairs. It worked. FML

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By youonlyneed2squares

Today, as I was lying in my bed eating my dinner, my roommate says to me: "I don't know how to say this, but we need more towels. The room is flooding." FML

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By jeffnn - United States - Melbourne

Today, while building a gingerbread house with my two kids, they thought it would be funny to pee on it while I wasn't looking. Nobody noticed until my wife ate one of the pee-covered gingerbread men. FML

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By Anonymous - Reserved

Today, it's my 21st birthday. My parents' gift was a case of non-alcoholic beer, to "prepare" me for when I "turn 21." My parents can't even remember how old I am. FML

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By Elizabeth Ann

Today, I no longer need an alarm clock. My cat has learned to jump on my boobs at precisely 7:30 every morning. If I don't get up immediately, she just keeps jumping on my boobs. I'm an E cup. FML

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By Anonymous - 28/5/2020 05:00

Alexa, play "Living Doll" by Cliff Richard

Today, my boyfriend dumped me out of nowhere, supposedly because I act like he's nothing but a sex doll. We've been dating 6 weeks and have had sex twice. FML

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By Michael - Australia

Today, while taking pills for a headache, I threw my head back to help get the pills down, and in the process, whacked it against the brick windowsill behind me. FML

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By Anonymous - Latvia - Riga

Today, while giving a lecture on gender equality in the workplace, a woman yelled from the back, asking me why I'm not out starting a war somewhere. I stopped talking and tried to pinpoint her in the crowd, which she took as a sign to snort and call me a pussy. Nobody would back me up. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, my dad called my cell. He ended the phone call with, "and tell your boyfriend to shut up, I can hear him moaning." FML

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By gross - Australia - Melbourne

Today, at 19 years of age, I finally saw a nude girl in real life. Specifically, my sister. FML

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By screwed - United States

Today, my hubby and I decided to spice up our sex life and went to an adult toy store. We know too many people in our town, so we drove to one that was 30 mins away. We decided on our items, and went to the check out. Who would have guessed my next door neighbor works there as a cashier? FML

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By trice - United States - Austin

Today, it's my birthday. Three people wished me happy birthday: Google, my insurance company, and the place I lease my car from. FML

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By queenxalee - United States - Orange

Today, I learned I was conceived to the sounds of a Spice Girls album. FML

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By Anonymous - 25/11/2020 23:02 - United States - Merrimack

Bye, dipshit

Today, my husband told me he no longer loves me and is moving out. It's also our 13th wedding anniversary. FML

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By Anonymous - United States - Plano

Today, I went to the store with my 4-year-old daughter. When I went to change into tight jeans which weren't completely on, my daughter opened the curtain and yelled: "It's the mommy show!" Everyone there heard her and saw me. FML

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By thanks a lot asshole - 26/9/2020 17:02 - United States

One law for thee, another for me

Today, I went to visit my father. His new wife has hoarded out our childhood home nearly to the point of it being unliveable. That’s pretty funny, considering my dad used to literally beat us if our rooms weren’t clean or we left dishes in the sink. FML

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By Anonameow - United States - Freeland

Today, after lots of overcast weather, we opened the blinds to the children's section in the library, to let in the beautiful sunshine. Fifteen preschoolers were greeted by the sight of a used condom plastered against the window. FML

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By meantowheels - United States

Today, while walking in the mall, I had two people race past me in wheelchairs. Thinking they were racing, I started rooting for the one guy that was ahead. Turns out his wheelchair was malfunctioning and the other was chasing after to help. He then slammed and fell into the water fountain. FML

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By Help. - United Kingdom

Today, my violent housemate qualified for a gun license. She picks up her bolt-action rifle on Wednesday. FML

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By Username - United States

Today, while waiting for a doctors appointment, my husband started playing angry birds. Continually losing the game ended up raising his blood pressure to the point where he now has to have his medication changed. The new medication is $100 copay. FML

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By Anonymous - United Kingdom - Norwich

Today, I found a baby squirrel on the pavement and thought I'd try and rescue it. While I googled what to do, it started running around. I tried to grab it, but it ran straight into the path of a car. FML

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By Anonymous - Australia

Today, I discovered the top I'm wearing becomes completely see-through when it rains. I just got caught in a storm on my lunch break, and still have 3 hours of work to go in my male dominated office. FML

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By snortingspunk - South Africa

Today, I gave my boyfriend a blowjob for the first time. He came. A lot. I doubt I'll remember it as anything other than, "The day I found out what sneezing semen feels like." FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I was at the store when I saw two extremely hot girls. I walked into their aisle and they looked at me and smiled. I stopped and pretended to look at something so I could listen to what they were saying. They started laughing and walked away. It turned out I was reading a box of tampons. FML

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By iloveretail - United Kingdom - Nottingham

Today, a woman threatened to stab my eyes out because I wouldn't let her into the shop I closed and locked up half an hour ago. FML

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By RachelVanLannen9 - United States

Today, my boyfriend bought a pogo stick. Now he rides it more than he rides me. FML

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By Anonymous - United States - Reno

Today, after swimming in the pool, I went into the shower. Little did I know that my niece was hiding in there. She excitedly yelled "I saw your boobs!" Now my nephew won't stop crying because he didn't get to see them as well. FML

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By damn you Ambien - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I woke up to an angry and threatening email from a porn company. Apparently, I took a sleeping pill last night and wrote a nasty email to the company about how they mistreat women. The best part: I used a web contact form instead of an email, so I have absolutely no idea what I wrote. FML

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By Joey Soprano - 18/8/2020 02:06

Bad boys, bad boys…

Today, I went to the DMV today and sat in line for over 6 hours to renew my driver's license. Even though with the pandemic, it's been extended to New Year's Eve but I decided to get it done and over with. I get called up to finish everything, only to find out my license is suspended. FML

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By massachusettsan - United States - Monomoy Island

Guitar Porn

Today, I got the same feeling in my chest when I orgasmed as when I hit a hard section in Guitar Hero. FML

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By cocokiss410 - United States

Today, while I was at work, a co-worker watched while some kid stole the radio out of my car. FML

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By DanteWest1000 - United States - Papillion

Today, I was texting my girlfriend about cross dressing and I said, "It would be hard for me to conceal my weapon." She instantly replied, "Not really, it's like finding a needle in a haystack, you'll be alright." FML

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Top comments

By Otto_fml | 0

#601763 - Saturday 3 October 2009 23:09

More women should wear these.

By chillbro69 | 0

#601765 - Saturday 3 October 2009 23:09

may the force be with you

COMMENTS

By jamila123 | 5

#601761 - Saturday 3 October 2009 23:08

Too many negative votes, comment buried. Show the comment

Reply

Starchild21 | 3

#601820 - Saturday 3 October 2009 23:27

I wonder if Chewbaca was the character for her theme?

Reply

Dogman332 | 0

#601832 - Saturday 3 October 2009 23:34

Hey, I love nerdy girls, call me sometimes. JK. But that is funny.

Reply

lmmmr | 0

#601866 - Saturday 3 October 2009 23:55

That's totally cool.

Reply

chipmunk95 | 0

#601891 - Sunday 4 October 2009 0:07

hey jbass's birthday contest!

http://www.complexitygaming.com/index.php?c=news&id=1269

Reply

Slaught_fml | 3

#601922 - Sunday 4 October 2009 0:24

Sexy fml

Reply

Dahlia_F | 0

#601981 - Sunday 4 October 2009 0:57

this is NOT an FML. especially if it was "lucky you were wearing your star-wars themed panties"

take it to MLIA.

Reply

Starchild21 | 3

#602013 - Sunday 4 October 2009 1:18

except it wasn't "...luckily I was wearing", it was "...I was wearing my lucky", what you don't have a lucky set? I got lucky boxers haha

_______________________________
www.myspace.com/rapid99

Reply

1234PIE43215 | 0

#602169 - Sunday 4 October 2009 3:27

Screw being cool

Reply

misspinkiemarie | 0

#602213 - Sunday 4 October 2009 4:22

Totally MLIA material. That's so cool.

Reply

tyhillman | 0

#602356 - Sunday 4 October 2009 6:42

I want to marry the OP lol.

Reply

genius_man16 | 0

#602362 - Sunday 4 October 2009 7:00

MARRY ME OP

Reply

fosizzlemynizzlE | 0

#602426 - Sunday 4 October 2009 8:18

unless the guy is a douche you have nothing to worry about.

like seriously...

Reply

nurdoz | 2

#667252 - Thursday 12 November 2009 4:31

nice random myspace link lol
now I'm gonna add you

Reply

TheObnoxiousNarw | 0

#2545334 - Saturday 21 May 2011 19:21

BACK TO THE KITCHEN!

Reply

00SPRANGER00 | 0

#2634803 - Tuesday 7 June 2011 5:22

if star wars panties aren't cool, then I don't want to be cool

Reply

Rowdey | 10

#4354799 - Wednesday 25 April 2012 22:51

YDI for wearing panties.

Reply

jackipdoc | 31

#6299720 - Sunday 24 May 2015 6:11

They wouldn't be as lucky if she happened to 'get lucky'

By Otto_fml | 0

#601763 - Saturday 3 October 2009 23:09

More women should wear these.

Reply

TerraDiablo | 0

#2049678 - Saturday 5 February 2011 22:15

hawt lol

Reply

DatEmoFurry | 7

#4836113 - Monday 20 August 2012 0:36

And to think I thought my Legend of Zelda undies were cool.

By chillbro69 | 0

#601765 - Saturday 3 October 2009 23:09

may the force be with you

By xxmollyxx | 25

#601766 - Saturday 3 October 2009 23:09

Fail :(

Reply

MimiKnox | 0

#604602 - Monday 5 October 2009 11:36

Only failed at tucking skirt in underwear, but WIN at having AWESOME undies!! I'm jealous!! Where can I get me some Star Wars undies? I only got Betty Bop, Sailor Moon, Sonic and Astro Boy panties. (yes I only love and wear cartoon undies!)

Reply

mstrmje | 0

#609912 - Thursday 8 October 2009 5:34

awesome i needed a nerdy gf until all but 7 months ago she is the best thing in my life and she too has a lucky pair and a star wars pair the lucky pair is nintendo

Reply

psychedelicdezzy | 14

#6399342 - Tuesday 1 September 2015 18:13

Haha your awesome (#176)

By shauntp | 0

#601767 - Saturday 3 October 2009 23:09

Embarrasing lol

By mutinykitty | 18

#601772 - Saturday 3 October 2009 23:10

that's just awesome. i wish i had star wars panties.

By toink | 0

#601775 - Saturday 3 October 2009 23:12

They saw Chewbacca! X_X

Reply

skullbashd | 3

#909738 - Wednesday 3 March 2010 4:10

WTF picture

By arisaurus | 0

#601777 - Saturday 3 October 2009 23:13

well thats an epic failure.ur supposed to check urself before you leave.smarty.

By jw90 | 18

#601782 - Saturday 3 October 2009 23:14

my kind of woman! :)

By Resistance2 | 0

#601784 - Saturday 3 October 2009 23:15

YDI for having starwars panties, what are you 12?

Reply

scateice | 0

#601873 - Sunday 4 October 2009 0:00

coolio :P

Reply

the_stereotype | 0

#601893 - Sunday 4 October 2009 0:08

psh...all the cool kids have star wars underwear. don't be hatin

Reply

welderchick87 | 0

#601903 - Sunday 4 October 2009 0:13

There is absolutely nothing wrong with Star Wars....so stfu and gtfo.

Reply

iplayhockey3 | 9

#602164 - Sunday 4 October 2009 3:24

you know your cool when.....

Reply

1234PIE43215 | 0

#602173 - Sunday 4 October 2009 3:28

What's wrong with Star Wars panties? Besides most 12 years today are too retarded not to have a pair!

Reply

cass1_l0ve | 13

#3809181 - Saturday 31 December 2011 2:48

Most 12 year olds today are so obsessed with Justin Beiber and stupid crap like that they probably haven't even heard of star wars.

Reply

Unicorntails | 7

#4771289 - Saturday 4 August 2012 8:13

Heyheyhey, I'm 12. Offensive! D:< I've heard of Star Wars and I love it. Not the entire generation sucks, but 99.7% do..