Today, I was on a date with a guy having a great time. I went... - FML

By diva467 - 3/10/2009 18:41 - United States

Today, I was on a date with a guy having a great time. I went up to go to the ladies' room, but as I walked back to the table, I heard some giggles. I looked and found out why. My skirt was tucked into my underwear. I was wearing my lucky Star Wars-themed panties. FML

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Compassion

Rich people problems

You snooze, you lose

By MrZach - 21/11/2009 23:21 - United States

Today, I had a tooth pulled. An hour or so later, I removed the gauze from my mouth, because I thought the bleeding had stopped. I got on my laptop. A few minutes later I looked down, to see that I had drooled blood all over the keyboard, and didn't know because my mouth was numb. FML

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By Anonymous - 18/8/2015 21:08 - United States - Woodridge

Today, a woman at the retirement home I work at told me she was new and asked me a few questions. I asked her when she moved in. She was a new coworker, not a new resident. FML

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By pumpkinbutt - 17/1/2010 21:08 - France

Today, I hurried into the bank to cash in the $5,000 check my grandparents had given me for college money. I found out that instead of my name, they wrote 'our sweet iddle pumpkinbutt'. I couldn't make eye contact with anyone after. FML

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By AyoitsSteveo - 24/5/2009 09:49 - United States

Today, I thought it would be funny to bother my friend Emily. I kept punching her. She asked if I wanted to fight. I agreed because she's a 15 year old skinny girl and I'm 17 year old buff guy. She beat the crap out of me until I cried. FML

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By Phantommajik - 10/5/2011 16:08 - United States

Today, I was stuck at the airport overnight waiting for my flight for about 5 hours. I then went and looked at the departures board. It said that my flight had already departed. FML

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By Oops - 28/8/2017 03:30 - United Kingdom - Bakewell

Today, I had a hotdog. I thought the skin was a bit tough but ate it anyway. After reading the packaging later I found out that each hotdog has an individual plastic wrapper. I ate plastic. FML

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By Anonymous - 12/12/2009 23:16 - United States

Today, I found out why two of my friends race downstairs to each other to the cafeteria everyday at lunch; apparently there's only one free seat at the table with the rest of their friends, and the loser has to eat lunch with me. FML

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By anon - 11/11/2015 03:28 - United Kingdom - London

Today, a notification from Tinder popped up on my girlfriend's phone, 'Congratulations, you have a new match'. FML

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By cachow - 6/9/2009 04:35 - United States

Today, I was cutting the grass when I saw a man staring at me from my neighbor's garage. This went on for 5 minutes until I finally yelled 'hello'. There was no response, and I was creeped out, so I called my neighbor. It was a life-sized Paul McCartney cutout. FML

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By OhBoy - 5/8/2013 19:10 - United States - Lake Saint Louis

Today, I realized why my water bill has gone down so much. My 16 year old daughter now only feels it necessary to shower whenever her boyfriend is going to come over. FML

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By mandinga - 6/9/2009 21:35 - United States

Today, my husband asked me for permission to have an affair with his hot secretary. FML

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By misi - 22/6/2019 16:00

Today, my mother threw a fit because the psychologist she got me suggested I visit a psychiatrist. Apparently, it's my fault because I "choose" to be so "crazy". FML

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By Anonymous - 21/7/2011 16:40 - United States

Today, I missed a call from my mom. It's my birthday, and glad she remembered, I called back to thank her. She was surprised when I brought up going out for dinner, and asked me what the occasion was. FML

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By stuckinalift - 18/2/2011 01:31 - United Kingdom

Today, I got stuck in a small elevator. It started to violently judder up and down after I pressed the 'Help' buzzer. The man on the intercom wouldn't stop laughing at how my voice was jumpy from the juddering movements before he called for help. FML

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By rozziepop - 30/3/2012 05:37 - United States - Visalia

Today, I saw my 22-year-old boyfriend blow his nose into his hand, then wipe his snot on our couch. There was a box of tissues directly in front of him. FML

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By Anonymous - 7/12/2012 04:49 - United States - Moorhead

Today, my daughter finally gave birth to twin boys. She informed me that she named them Peregrin Took and Meriadoc Brandybuck. My grandsons are named after Hobbits. FML

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By save the koalas? uhh - 8/4/2013 14:08 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, our guest lecturer told us to imagine 25,000 dead koalas in our lecture theatre, and if that didn't make us emotional then we didn't care about them. She then went on a rant, during which she encouraged us to join the "koala army". FML

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By kinkicali - 20/11/2012 08:43 - United States - Maple Valley

Today, trying to be kinky while giving my boyfriend a blow job, I whipped him with my ponytail. He was thrilled, until I accidentally head-butted his dick. He curled up into a ball and wouldn't let me touch him again. FML

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By PntsLessWonder - 1/12/2009 04:53 - United States

Today, I left my friend this big Facebook wall comment about how adorable his son is. Just after posting, I read the other peoples' comments and find out that it's his daughter. FML

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By Cassie - 21/5/2011 07:44 - United States

Today, my crush and I were talking on the phone and we were really hitting it off. We got on the subject of sex and I told him I have a purity ring. Then he suddenly said he had to go and hang up. FML

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By stinky - 12/12/2011 04:46 - United States

Today, my coworker friend told me she was going to the restroom. Soon after, I did the same. Once in the stall, I could smell a stench emanating from the next one. I yelled, "Ew, you stinky bitch" and sprayed air freshener under the partition. As I left the stall, my friend walked into the restroom. FML

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By Anonymous - 12/12/2014 02:04 - United States - Yorktown

Today, I was home alone when I heard the carbon-monoxide detector beeping. Panicking, I grabbed my dog, ran out of my house as fast as I could, and waited outside for 3 hours for my mom to get home. Turned out the detector was just out of batteries. FML

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By AtLeastTheyreClean - 27/1/2017 19:28 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, after hours of protesting and tantrums, I finally got my kids to clean their rooms. They're all really proud of themselves and enjoying all the extra space. I'm stuck with the three extra loads of laundry they found in there. FML

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By Une Fille - 18/12/2011 05:18 - Canada

Today, my dad came to pick me up early for the Christmas break. He walked in on me cleaning all 19 of my sex toys. That's more than one sex toy per year that I've lived. I now have to face a 7-hour drive from Montreal to Toronto with him. FML

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By Noname - 10/3/2009 15:46 - United States

Today, the kids I teach informed me that I had spelled my name incorrectly on the board. I looked at it and assured them that I had spelled it correctly. I'm 22 and a graduate student, they're six and mentally challenged. Guess who was right? FML

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By redeye - 19/9/2011 05:03 - United States

Today, my younger brother decided it would be funny to put rubbing alcohol in my contact lens case while I had them soaking overnight. I didn't realize this until I put the first one in. FML

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By Anonymous - 21/5/2012 11:40 - United Kingdom

Today, I went to the orthodontist's to get my braces tightened, and I chose baby blue bands. Turns out they make my teeth look extremely yellow. Only a month and a half to go. FML

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By Protectress - 23/8/2011 06:50 - United States

Today, while going around trying to find a job, a manager came up to ask me, "Are you looking to work here?" I nodded happily, hoping this would be the end of my search. She looked me up and down, saw I had a jacket on to hide my tattoos and said, "Sorry, I can't hire heroin addicts." FML

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By ClothMom - 8/12/2009 07:02 - United States

Today, I was visited by Child Protective Services. Seems someone on my street reported me for neglect because I cloth diaper my children. I moved in less than 6 months ago, so I guess this is how they say, "welcome to the neighborhood" about these parts. FML

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By The L word - 30/1/2009 15:28 - United States

Today, I found out the girl I've been trying to date for six months is gay. FML

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By ticket - 6/10/2009 15:44 - United Kingdom

Today, I got a ticket for having my brights on. The street was pitch black and it was 1:30 in the morning. FML

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By Alisha-_- - 23/11/2018 03:00

Today, I found out that the love of my life had been pleasuring himself to pictures of my ex-boyfriends. Yes, he's bisexual. He says it's ok because I'm dating him now. Great. FML

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By Anonymous - 1/12/2011 03:11 - United States

Today, I was casually shopping at Walmart. Everything was normal until the young guy browsing the aisle next to me suddenly approached me and whispered "sperm" into my ear. My spine has never experienced a chill like this one before. FML

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By Ineedit - 26/2/2010 17:46 - United States

Not now!

Today, my husband and I were going to have sex for the first time since having our baby, who was taking a nap. As soon as we lay down in bed, his mother rang saying she was five minutes away. FML

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By justme - 9/2/2010 18:20 - France

Today, I was about to take a crap when the smoke alarm went off. I ran out of the bathroom and tried to run downstairs. I tripped and shit on myself. The alarm had gone off cause my kid put my wallet in the toaster. FML

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By lancus - 7/6/2020 14:06

Patriotic ass

Today, my 6-year-old daughter and I were leaving a swimming pool when we passed the front desk, where there was a Canadian flag. She said, "Look daddy! A maple leaf! Just like on your ass!” I forgot that she knew about my tattoo and the flag. We ran out as people burst out laughing. FML

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By nearly a crazy lady - 12/8/2013 11:19 - United Kingdom

Today, my OCD manager sprayed my hands with chemicals because I touched the bin while throwing away a piece of paper. My hands are now covered in itchy, unattractive rashes. FML

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By unfortunate - 25/4/2012 04:50 - Sweden

Today, I was so lonely that I had a conversation with myself on my way home. It was only when I reached my apartment complex that I discovered that my neighbour had been walking behind me, laughing to himself the whole way. FML

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By Anonymous - 16/10/2011 04:22 - United States

Today, I came home to my empty apartment. My girlfriend had left a note on the floor that said: "Took my stuff and left. Took your stuff and pawned it." FML

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By Anonymous - 20/5/2013 15:56 - United States

Today, I listened to my elderly bachelor neighbor moan, "Oh, kitty, kitty, kitty! Oh kitty!" for over half-an-hour before he wandered out on his balcony in wet, tight white underwear to water his plant. This is the fifth time this week, and I still don't know what on earth he's doing. FML

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Top comments

By Otto_fml | 0

#601763 - Saturday 3 October 2009 23:09

More women should wear these.

By chillbro69 | 0

#601765 - Saturday 3 October 2009 23:09

may the force be with you

COMMENTS

By jamila123 | 5

#601761 - Saturday 3 October 2009 23:08

Too many negative votes, comment buried. Show the comment

Reply

Starchild21 | 3

#601820 - Saturday 3 October 2009 23:27

I wonder if Chewbaca was the character for her theme?

Reply

Dogman332 | 0

#601832 - Saturday 3 October 2009 23:34

Hey, I love nerdy girls, call me sometimes. JK. But that is funny.

Reply

lmmmr | 0

#601866 - Saturday 3 October 2009 23:55

That's totally cool.

Reply

chipmunk95 | 0

#601891 - Sunday 4 October 2009 0:07

hey jbass's birthday contest!

http://www.complexitygaming.com/index.php?c=news&id=1269

Reply

Slaught_fml | 3

#601922 - Sunday 4 October 2009 0:24

Sexy fml

Reply

Dahlia_F | 0

#601981 - Sunday 4 October 2009 0:57

this is NOT an FML. especially if it was "lucky you were wearing your star-wars themed panties"

take it to MLIA.

Reply

Starchild21 | 3

#602013 - Sunday 4 October 2009 1:18

except it wasn't "...luckily I was wearing", it was "...I was wearing my lucky", what you don't have a lucky set? I got lucky boxers haha

_______________________________
www.myspace.com/rapid99

Reply

1234PIE43215 | 0

#602169 - Sunday 4 October 2009 3:27

Screw being cool

Reply

misspinkiemarie | 0

#602213 - Sunday 4 October 2009 4:22

Totally MLIA material. That's so cool.

Reply

tyhillman | 0

#602356 - Sunday 4 October 2009 6:42

I want to marry the OP lol.

Reply

genius_man16 | 0

#602362 - Sunday 4 October 2009 7:00

MARRY ME OP

Reply

fosizzlemynizzlE | 0

#602426 - Sunday 4 October 2009 8:18

unless the guy is a douche you have nothing to worry about.

like seriously...

Reply

nurdoz | 2

#667252 - Thursday 12 November 2009 4:31

nice random myspace link lol
now I'm gonna add you

Reply

TheObnoxiousNarw | 0

#2545334 - Saturday 21 May 2011 19:21

BACK TO THE KITCHEN!

Reply

00SPRANGER00 | 0

#2634803 - Tuesday 7 June 2011 5:22

if star wars panties aren't cool, then I don't want to be cool

Reply

Rowdey | 10

#4354799 - Wednesday 25 April 2012 22:51

YDI for wearing panties.

Reply

jackipdoc | 31

#6299720 - Sunday 24 May 2015 6:11

They wouldn't be as lucky if she happened to 'get lucky'

By Otto_fml | 0

#601763 - Saturday 3 October 2009 23:09

More women should wear these.

Reply

TerraDiablo | 0

#2049678 - Saturday 5 February 2011 22:15

hawt lol

Reply

DatEmoFurry | 7

#4836113 - Monday 20 August 2012 0:36

And to think I thought my Legend of Zelda undies were cool.

By chillbro69 | 0

#601765 - Saturday 3 October 2009 23:09

may the force be with you

By xxmollyxx | 25

#601766 - Saturday 3 October 2009 23:09

Fail :(

Reply

MimiKnox | 0

#604602 - Monday 5 October 2009 11:36

Only failed at tucking skirt in underwear, but WIN at having AWESOME undies!! I'm jealous!! Where can I get me some Star Wars undies? I only got Betty Bop, Sailor Moon, Sonic and Astro Boy panties. (yes I only love and wear cartoon undies!)

Reply

mstrmje | 0

#609912 - Thursday 8 October 2009 5:34

awesome i needed a nerdy gf until all but 7 months ago she is the best thing in my life and she too has a lucky pair and a star wars pair the lucky pair is nintendo

Reply

psychedelicdezzy | 14

#6399342 - Tuesday 1 September 2015 18:13

Haha your awesome (#176)

By shauntp | 0

#601767 - Saturday 3 October 2009 23:09

Embarrasing lol

By mutinykitty | 18

#601772 - Saturday 3 October 2009 23:10

that's just awesome. i wish i had star wars panties.

By toink | 0

#601775 - Saturday 3 October 2009 23:12

They saw Chewbacca! X_X

Reply

skullbashd | 3

#909738 - Wednesday 3 March 2010 4:10

WTF picture

By arisaurus | 0

#601777 - Saturday 3 October 2009 23:13

well thats an epic failure.ur supposed to check urself before you leave.smarty.

By jw90 | 18

#601782 - Saturday 3 October 2009 23:14

my kind of woman! :)

By Resistance2 | 0

#601784 - Saturday 3 October 2009 23:15

YDI for having starwars panties, what are you 12?

Reply

scateice | 0

#601873 - Sunday 4 October 2009 0:00

coolio :P

Reply

the_stereotype | 0

#601893 - Sunday 4 October 2009 0:08

psh...all the cool kids have star wars underwear. don't be hatin

Reply

welderchick87 | 0

#601903 - Sunday 4 October 2009 0:13

There is absolutely nothing wrong with Star Wars....so stfu and gtfo.

Reply

iplayhockey3 | 9

#602164 - Sunday 4 October 2009 3:24

you know your cool when.....

Reply

1234PIE43215 | 0

#602173 - Sunday 4 October 2009 3:28

What's wrong with Star Wars panties? Besides most 12 years today are too retarded not to have a pair!

Reply

cass1_l0ve | 13

#3809181 - Saturday 31 December 2011 2:48

Most 12 year olds today are so obsessed with Justin Beiber and stupid crap like that they probably haven't even heard of star wars.

Reply

Unicorntails | 7

#4771289 - Saturday 4 August 2012 8:13

Heyheyhey, I'm 12. Offensive! D:< I've heard of Star Wars and I love it. Not the entire generation sucks, but 99.7% do..