Love: Today, I was on a date with a guy having a great time. I went... - FML

By diva467 - United States

Today, I was on a date with a guy having a great time. I went up to go to the ladies' room, but as I walked back to the table, I heard some giggles. I looked and found out why. My skirt was tucked into my underwear. I was wearing my lucky Star Wars-themed panties. FML

I agree, your life sucks

37710

You deserved it

15088

Tweet

Share

The smell detective is on the case

Walk on the wild side

Keep your distance

By beepbeep

Today, after being kicked out of my racist family, my boyfriend and I moved across the country to rent an apartment with my sister. My mother hates us so much she offered to buy my sister a new car to not take us in. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3210

You deserved it

512

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - Canada

Today, in the middle of having sex, my boyfriend of two years got a call. After taking the call, he said, "It's an emergency," and that he has to go. I asked him what was wrong, and he told me is wife is going into labour. FML

I agree, your life sucks

32874

You deserved it

5885

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 25/3/2021 08:01

Cujo, but for cats

Today, my cat was incessantly meowing trying to get me to wake up and feed him. Because it was 6 a.m., and I'd hardly slept at all last night, my brain decided that the best solution to get him to shut up would be to hug him. The result was a normally docile and lazy cat giving me a nasty scratch next to my left eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks

492

You deserved it

247

Tweet

Share

By Reena - Canada

Today, I got woken up by a text from an unknown number at 3 am saying, "haha I found your number." I ignored it and tried to go back to sleep. After hours of trying to fall asleep, my drowsiness was disturbed by another text from the same person saying, "Sorry, wrong number." FML

I agree, your life sucks

29552

You deserved it

4211

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 4/4/2021 08:31 - India - Hosur

Catcaller on a bike!

Today, a man on a bike was so preoccupied with making lewd comments about another girl's behind that he drove straight into mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks

868

You deserved it

64

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States - Humble

Today, I went into my classroom to find a bag of shit on my desk with a note saying, "Thanks for failing me b*tch!" FML

I agree, your life sucks

27118

You deserved it

7509

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous

Spider-man

Today, I tried to catch a spider in a glass. It was on the paper and I wanted it to fall into the glass, but I moved the paper the wrong way, screeched like a banshee and flung the glass at the floor. I was barefoot. FML

I agree, your life sucks

582

You deserved it

1216

Tweet

Share

By fishruinsex

Today, I was messing around in my boyfriend's pants while watching TV. He was totally absorbed in the fishing show that was on. When the guy lost a fish, he got so disappointed that he became completely flaccid. FML

I agree, your life sucks

34238

You deserved it

5976

Tweet

Share

By gooddeedgonebad - Australia - Upper Swan

Today, I helped an elderly woman carry her suitcase down a flight of stairs. When I got to the bottom, a man tackled me to the ground thinking I was stealing the woman's luggage. As I lay in pain, he ran up the stairs to return the suitcase and the poor woman had to carry it down on her own. FML

I agree, your life sucks

58788

You deserved it

3211

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - Israel

Today, I asked my lazy daughter to go make her bed. She responded by lighting our garbage bin on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks

44493

You deserved it

10172

Tweet

Share

By Ves - United States

Today, a woman walked out of the Humane Society with a cat carrier. I said, "Oh did you adopt him?" She walked past and started crying. She had just brought her cat in to be euthanized. FML

I agree, your life sucks

25350

You deserved it

8454

Tweet

Share

By JimiHendrix - France - Luynes

Today, a wasp knocked me out, broke my glasses, and left a gash over my eyebrow. It did so by flying under my glasses while I was playing my guitar, causing me to reflexively bat at it with the hand that was still grasping the guitar neck. FML

I agree, your life sucks

28892

You deserved it

7333

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - Norway - T?nsberg

Today, I sent a cute, jokey text to my girlfriend saying, "Just in case the world ends, I love you." Not only did she dump me because I was an "idiot for believing in the doomsday", which I don't, she also wrote a Facebook status about it. Now everyone thinks I'm mentally unstable. FML

I agree, your life sucks

40464

You deserved it

7055

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - Canada

Today, my friend posted my picture on Craigslist under the "men seeking men" section. I got 16 replies with 2 hours. He then decided to post another picture of me under "men seeking women" to compare results. The only reply I got was from a man. FML

I agree, your life sucks

49674

You deserved it

4140

Tweet

Share

By VampiresSayRawr - Canada

Today, I tried having intercourse with my boyfriend, and about 30 seconds in, I heard flipping. He was looking at a porn magazine. "It's to keep my erection" he answered. FML

I agree, your life sucks

98450

You deserved it

9756

Tweet

Share

By cmd102 - United States

Today, I called my boyfriend to see if he wanted to come over to my house. He said he couldn't because he was out of town. That would have be perfectly acceptable, if I hadn't called him on his house phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks

40318

You deserved it

3338

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 22/10/2020 11:01 - Luxembourg - Mamer

Not that sort, I swear

Today, I threw out a bunch of Coca-Cola bottles that had been in my room for who knows how long. My mother noticed them in the recycling and promptly told our neighbours that I have a "coke habit." FML

I agree, your life sucks

981

You deserved it

141

Tweet

Share

By backtosquareone - Hong Kong - Central District

Today, after months of searching, I was offered a job. After hearing how excited I was on the phone, HR docked the initial salary offer by 40% in the written contract. She said it was non-negotiable. Guess I'm back to job hunting. FML

I agree, your life sucks

5510

You deserved it

455

Tweet

Share

By fartz - United States

Today, while I was sleeping, apparently I rolled over towards my fiancé and told him "We gotta save the turtles!" and had a five seconds long fart. Now he won't stop making fun of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

48429

You deserved it

8078

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States - Beloit

Today, I went for a checkup after having recently been fitted with dental implants. The oral surgeon I chose was supposedly the best in the area, but it turns out that he inserted the implants at the wrong angle. Now I have to have further surgery to correct it. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30470

You deserved it

2606

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States - Topeka

Today, a guy in my class was talking about himself. He started his story with, "When I was little, I was a ginger." I replied without thinking, "Is that why you got put up for adoption?" Him being adopted was the actual story he wanted to tell. FML

I agree, your life sucks

24082

You deserved it

46896

Tweet

Share

By chels

Plebs need not apply.

Today, when my new boyfriend told me he liked playing games, he meant a 60" TV with a professional gaming chair in the middle of his living room, and 48-hour gaming marathons where he totally ignores me, refuses to sleep or shower, and only has energy drinks and cheerios. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3788

You deserved it

824

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - Canada

Today, I woke up to my apartment filled with smoke, fire alarms blaring. My roommate set my kitchen on fire while making hot dogs. This is the fourth time this has happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30410

You deserved it

4655

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States - Sparks

Today, I got a picture message from my aunt that said, "9 out of 10 kids get their awesomeness from their aunt." Normally, I would have agreed, except she forgot my birthday yesterday. FML

I agree, your life sucks

40116

You deserved it

3307

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States - Mascotte

Today, I found out you can get hemorrhoids during labor even if you have a c-section. FML

I agree, your life sucks

21507

You deserved it

1782

Tweet

Share

By clementine_k - United States

Today, I went out for coffee with a guy I really like. We met up at the local café, and decided to sit at a counter in front of the window. We talked and flirted for a while. Then he kissed me, and while he was kissing me someone banged on the window. It was my parents. They didn't know I'm gay. FML

I agree, your life sucks

100638

You deserved it

35569

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I was pulling into a parking garage space and using the next car over to judge where the wall was in front of me, but ended up whumping my front bumper as I pulled forward. Wondering what had happened, I got out to see that the car I was aligning myself against had hit the wall too. FML

I agree, your life sucks

9338

You deserved it

26856

Tweet

Share

By victoriassecret - United States

Today, I finally felt ready to take my bra off during sex. My breasts had "deflated" somewhat due to weight loss and I was really self-conscious about them, but my boyfriend insisted I was hot no matter what. When the bra came off, the dick got soft. FML

I agree, your life sucks

35445

You deserved it

4109

Tweet

Share

By Stairway2Heaven - Canada

Judgmental much!?

Today, I came home to find that my room had been ransacked. My mom comes out of nowhere and says that we need to have a talk. I freaked out thinking it was all the empty alcohol bottles under my bed. My mom holds up the birth control and says, "I always knew you were a whore." FML

I agree, your life sucks

69314

You deserved it

19371

Tweet

Share

By yayibs - United States - Williamstown

Today, while working at my desk alone and with my headphones in, I suddenly let loose a loud stream of gas. As I shifted uncomfortably in my seat, I saw, in the reflection of my laptop, that my roommate had been sitting silently on the couch right behind me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

20358

You deserved it

4461

Tweet

Share

By Monkey253100 - France

Today, I decided to be healthy and go for a run. I broke my ankle. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31313

You deserved it

4078

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I got a call from the Sheriff's dept. saying that water was coming out my front door. I ran home to find a waterfall cascading over my covered parking. It turns out my puppy had chewed through the hose that connects the toilet to the water. My entire condo had an inch of standing water. FML

I agree, your life sucks

39510

You deserved it

4960

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - Canada

Today, I was at the cafeteria of my school with my boyfriend and he dumped me. I was kinda expecting it. What I wasn't expecting was that he'd start running in front of everyone, screaming "FREEEEEEEEEDOM!" at the top of his lungs and that he'd kiss the first girl he saw. FML

I agree, your life sucks

96660

You deserved it

11161

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States - Denver

Today, on my way to a big convention in Chicago, I found out that when my friend said, "I live in Chicago," they really meant, "I live an hour and a half outside of Chicago." Hello traffic and hours of daily driving. FML

I agree, your life sucks

12563

You deserved it

1752

Tweet

Share

By Lucky - United States

Today, I recieved a phone call from a cruise line I had travelled on with my parents a year ago. After being told I had won a free $2,000 cruise from a sweepstakes I had entered while on the cruise. After celebrating loudly they informed me that you have to be 23 or older to collect it. I'm 17. FML

I agree, your life sucks

45100

You deserved it

6232

Tweet

Share

By The Bearded Woman - Canada - Kelowna

Today, I had to teach my younger brother to shave with a regular disposable razor because our dad uses an electric one and I'm the only other person in the family with enough facial hair to know how to use a razor. I probably would have been proud if I wasn't a girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks

32825

You deserved it

2870

Tweet

Share

By my ears are dying - United States

Today, my five year old niece decided to wake me up by shoving blasting earphones in my ears. Five hours later I can still hear Justin Bieber shrieking "Baby". FML

I agree, your life sucks

39357

You deserved it

5321

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States

Today, my fiancé nervously sat me down for a "serious chat". The chat wound up with him asking if we could postpone our wedding, because his World of Warcraft guild had a raid scheduled for the same day. FML

I agree, your life sucks

56808

You deserved it

10740

Tweet

Share

By trolls have hit the gutters - United Kingdom - Durham

Today, a homeless guy told me I looked like shit and to have some self-respect. Right. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30532

You deserved it

4604

Tweet

Share

By aligator1009 - United States

Today, I went to the beach. While I was enjoying the sun, an old man with prosthetic leg and no clothes on sat next to me. He took off his fake leg and put it behind his head. Then he opened his legs revealing his "stuff." I will never unsee this. Ever. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30015

You deserved it

2563

Tweet

Share

Add a comment

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

By Otto_fml | 0

#601763 - Saturday 3 October 2009 23:09

More women should wear these.

By chillbro69 | 0

#601765 - Saturday 3 October 2009 23:09

may the force be with you

COMMENTS

By jamila123 | 5

#601761 - Saturday 3 October 2009 23:08

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.. Show it anyway

Reply

Starchild21 | 3

#601820 - Saturday 3 October 2009 23:27

I wonder if Chewbaca was the character for her theme?

Reply

Dogman332 | 0

#601832 - Saturday 3 October 2009 23:34

Hey, I love nerdy girls, call me sometimes. JK. But that is funny.

Reply

lmmmr | 0

#601866 - Saturday 3 October 2009 23:55

That's totally cool.

Reply

chipmunk95 | 0

#601891 - Sunday 4 October 2009 0:07

hey jbass's birthday contest!

http://www.complexitygaming.com/index.php?c=news&id=1269

Reply

Slaught_fml | 3

#601922 - Sunday 4 October 2009 0:24

Sexy fml

Reply

Dahlia_F | 0

#601981 - Sunday 4 October 2009 0:57

this is NOT an FML. especially if it was "lucky you were wearing your star-wars themed panties"

take it to MLIA.

Reply

Starchild21 | 3

#602013 - Sunday 4 October 2009 1:18

except it wasn't "...luckily I was wearing", it was "...I was wearing my lucky", what you don't have a lucky set? I got lucky boxers haha

_______________________________
www.myspace.com/rapid99

Reply

1234PIE43215 | 0

#602169 - Sunday 4 October 2009 3:27

Screw being cool

Reply

misspinkiemarie | 0

#602213 - Sunday 4 October 2009 4:22

Totally MLIA material. That's so cool.

Reply

tyhillman | 0

#602356 - Sunday 4 October 2009 6:42

I want to marry the OP lol.

Reply

genius_man16 | 0

#602362 - Sunday 4 October 2009 7:00

MARRY ME OP

Reply

fosizzlemynizzlE | 0

#602426 - Sunday 4 October 2009 8:18

unless the guy is a douche you have nothing to worry about.

like seriously...

Reply

nurdoz | 2

#667252 - Thursday 12 November 2009 4:31

nice random myspace link lol
now I'm gonna add you

Reply

TheObnoxiousNarw | 0

#2545334 - Saturday 21 May 2011 19:21

BACK TO THE KITCHEN!

Reply

00SPRANGER00 | 0

#2634803 - Tuesday 7 June 2011 5:22

if star wars panties aren't cool, then I don't want to be cool

Reply

Rowdey | 10

#4354799 - Wednesday 25 April 2012 22:51

YDI for wearing panties.

Reply

jackipdoc | 31

#6299720 - Sunday 24 May 2015 6:11

They wouldn't be as lucky if she happened to 'get lucky'

By Otto_fml | 0

#601763 - Saturday 3 October 2009 23:09

More women should wear these.

Reply

TerraDiablo | 0

#2049678 - Saturday 5 February 2011 22:15

hawt lol

Reply

DatEmoFurry | 7

#4836113 - Monday 20 August 2012 0:36

And to think I thought my Legend of Zelda undies were cool.

By chillbro69 | 0

#601765 - Saturday 3 October 2009 23:09

may the force be with you

By xxmollyxx | 25

#601766 - Saturday 3 October 2009 23:09

Fail :(

Reply

MimiKnox | 0

#604602 - Monday 5 October 2009 11:36

Only failed at tucking skirt in underwear, but WIN at having AWESOME undies!! I'm jealous!! Where can I get me some Star Wars undies? I only got Betty Bop, Sailor Moon, Sonic and Astro Boy panties. (yes I only love and wear cartoon undies!)

Reply

mstrmje | 0

#609912 - Thursday 8 October 2009 5:34

awesome i needed a nerdy gf until all but 7 months ago she is the best thing in my life and she too has a lucky pair and a star wars pair the lucky pair is nintendo

Reply

psychedelicdezzy | 14

#6399342 - Tuesday 1 September 2015 18:13

Haha your awesome (#176)

By shauntp | 0

#601767 - Saturday 3 October 2009 23:09

Embarrasing lol

By mutinykitty | 18

#601772 - Saturday 3 October 2009 23:10

that's just awesome. i wish i had star wars panties.

By toink | 0

#601775 - Saturday 3 October 2009 23:12

They saw Chewbacca! X_X

Reply

skullbashd | 3

#909738 - Wednesday 3 March 2010 4:10

WTF picture

By arisaurus | 0

#601777 - Saturday 3 October 2009 23:13

well thats an epic failure.ur supposed to check urself before you leave.smarty.

By jw90 | 18

#601782 - Saturday 3 October 2009 23:14

my kind of woman! :)

By Resistance2 | 0

#601784 - Saturday 3 October 2009 23:15

YDI for having starwars panties, what are you 12?

Reply

scateice | 0

#601873 - Sunday 4 October 2009 0:00

coolio :P

Reply

the_stereotype | 0

#601893 - Sunday 4 October 2009 0:08

psh...all the cool kids have star wars underwear. don't be hatin

Reply

welderchick87 | 0

#601903 - Sunday 4 October 2009 0:13

There is absolutely nothing wrong with Star Wars....so stfu and gtfo.

Reply

iplayhockey3 | 9

#602164 - Sunday 4 October 2009 3:24

you know your cool when.....

Reply

1234PIE43215 | 0

#602173 - Sunday 4 October 2009 3:28

What's wrong with Star Wars panties? Besides most 12 years today are too retarded not to have a pair!

Reply

cass1_l0ve | 13

#3809181 - Saturday 31 December 2011 2:48

Most 12 year olds today are so obsessed with Justin Beiber and stupid crap like that they probably haven't even heard of star wars.

Reply

Unicorntails | 7

#4771289 - Saturday 4 August 2012 8:13

Heyheyhey, I'm 12. Offensive! D:< I've heard of Star Wars and I love it. Not the entire generation sucks, but 99.7% do..