Today, my friend thought it would be funny to dress in all black with a ski mask and use my spare key to break into my house as a joke. He though it was even funnier when I jumped out the window and broke my leg. FML
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Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, for April fools I decided to set off the smoke detectors in my friend's apartment while he was sleeping and saran wrap the outside of his bedroom doorway so he would smack into it. Instead, he jumped out the window and broke his leg. FML
Today, I was locked out of my house. With no other available option, I decided to try and ninja my way through a window. However, as it turns out, I would make a terrible ninja. I now have a sprained ankle and a broken window. FML
Today, I found myself locked out of my house. I had to squeeze myself through a tiny window around the back. While hanging upside down, my hood fell over my head. My dog ran through to investigate the noise and ravaged me thinking I was a burglar. I then fell and broke my wrist. FML
Today, I broke my leg while trying to show my friend how I broke my other leg. FML
Today, I was over at a friend's place until very late. He had stolen my keys as a joke at some point, but by the time I noticed, he was too drunk to remember where he'd hidden them. FML
Today, I wanted nothing more than to go home and get into bed. While I was unlocking my front door, the flimsy key snapped off inside the lock. A locksmith was called out, who did nothing but sadistically guffaw at my misfortune and crack sarcastic jokes as he undid the lock. FML
Today, my best friend thought it would be funny push me off my bike. He thought it was even funnier when the paramedic accidentally dropped me. FML
Today, my friend told me he had just robbed a bank and needed a place to hide. Thinking he was joking, I let him in so we could hang out. Fifteen minutes later, the cops storm into my apartment. Now I'm an accomplice in a crime I thought was a joke. FML
Today, I was working out and doing box jumps. My friend thought it would be funny to kick the box aside as I tried to jump onto it. Now I have 2 broken teeth. FML
Today, a friend thought it would be funny to shove me over; I face-planted. I was going to say "Fuck you" and "I will kill you." It came out as "I will fuck you." He's still laughing. FML
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Top comments
TheKingDon 2
You should have legally killed him. That would show him not to make stupid ******* jokes.
xxmollyxx 25
Well, that is funny :P
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Comments (114)
viaco12 0
loyal frends laugh at jokes that arent that funny and sympathise things that arent so bad, but REAL frends point and laugh wen u fall on ur ass
MissNat_fml 0
omg that is so mean :( FYL
Chuffy 0
Too bad this didn't read, "He didn't think it was funny when I unloaded a clip into his chest."
himynameisadam 0
How is this a FML? The OP was a complete ******* retard and jumped out a window instead of using a back door, what house only has one door? Even if he did only have one door why would he have to jump out the window instead of climbing out? Don't even try to blame your friend... 100% YDI moron
allihall127 0
Ohh that sucks. Sorry man, that's a really cruel joke. FYL.
allihall127 0
Have you ever thought about the fact that when one sees their house getting broken into they're not exactly in a state of mind to make decisions? His first reflex in this situation was to get out the nearest exit, whether it's a window or a door. It's not being stupid, it's just reacting in an emergency situation.
xFuryx 0
You should have shot him right between the eyes. Bet that would reform his sense of humor, in Hell.
jonny2x4 0
You FAIL as a ninja.
ban4023 0
lolif it were my house i would have shot him
Shamous 0
Haha, man, how stupid can you get. Hit him or something, don't jump out a window xD
VraelVhalen 0
always roll when you jump from up high dude...always roll
THEmuffinpan 0
Ya didn't you learn anything from Ocarina of Time? If you hold forward while you'll roll and avoid getting hurt!
_THE_MASTER_ 0
YOU TOTALLY DESERVE IT. you're definitely the asshole that dies first in the horror movies. all of them. you have an over-reactive flight instinct. so over-reactive, in fact, that you thought you wouldn't get hurt jumping out a window. I think i might be laughing at you for the rest of the day.
ky_stone22 0
I think over-ACTIVE may've been a better choice. And I fail to see how he deserved it. I'm guessing that if someone broke into your house, you'd sit there and be like "Oop, gotta watch out for that over-active flight instinct! I should stay where I am!"? Sorry, but I think the person like that would die in the horror movie first. And you're calling the OP an asshole when you're going to be "laughing at him for the rest of the day." Good one.
_THE_MASTER_ 0
no, I would do what i did the first and last time there was a break-in at my place. which was break the pistol out of the nightstand, take aim, and kindly tell the intruder to hold tight til the police arrive. no point in using any actual violence, but the pistol does send a very good 'hold still unless you want a couple more holes in your body' kind of message.