Today, my "friend" thought it'd be absolutely hilarious to use my phone to text my girlfriend, bragging that I'd found a new "slampiece" and that she's "fukcin dumpd". Now I'm single, her dad keeps making threatening calls to me, and nobody will even listen to my side of the story. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I told my friend about a fight I had earlier with my girlfriend. He thought it'd be funny to use my phone while I was in the bathroom and text her "ure such a cunt". She wouldn't believe the truth, even when my friend confessed to her. She thought I paid him to take the fall. FML
Today, my friends thought it would be fun to change my dad's name on my phone to my girlfriend's name. Guess who got an erotic text message when standing next to me while in the line to buy groceries. FML
Today, I texted my best friend that my girlfriend was annoying. Only, it turns out I sent it to our couples' group chat. Her mom replied, “At least he's honest.” Her dad left the group. My girlfriend changed her Netflix password. FML
Today, my immature dad said that I'm a girl, not a woman, so my witty response was, ''I have a period, so I'm pretty sure that makes me a woman.'' My dad stole my phone and sent a text to everyone in my address book, quoting me. Including the guy I like. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me and threw all my stuff out into the yard because she caught me "texting another woman". Guess it didn't matter to her that the contact name was "Mom". FML
Today, I asked my fiancé's daughter to use her phone so I could call mine which I'd misplaced. Busy with homework, she nodded. Only after she jumped up did I notice that she had my number listed with a humiliating nickname, and accompanied by a photo of her middle finger. FML
Today, my girlfriend dumped me for another guy by text. I felt so betrayed, I stupidly tried to hurt her by replying that I'd been cheating on her all along with a hot babe. Turned out the dumping text was actually a prank by her friend. Now I'm single and everyone thinks I'm a cheater. FML
Today, I was using my dad's cell because I had broken mine. I was texting my boyfriend all day when my dad needed his phone back. I forgot to tell my boyfriend that my dad would be using the phone. My boyfriend then texted graphically what he wanted to do to my dad. FML
Today, my ex-boyfriend got high and decided to text all our friends and family the crazy stories about us. He was even nice enough to include pictures. I hear a nude one made it to my Dad. FML
Today, I was at my friend's house celebrating his 16th birthday. I couldn't find my phone so I asked my friend's girlfriend if I could borrow her phone to see if I could hear mine ringing. I dialed my number, only to find she had my number saved in her phone as "ASS FACE #3". FML
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Top comments
Lucious306 7
Never let friends use your phone. Sometimes they play around too much
LSS_fml 18
..... Ex friend?
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Comments (136)
loufol22 5
Your friends a dick
Brotha_Lou 5
One that needs a good beating
loufol22 5
Ha we both have Lou in our user name
tsent8 15
Damn! Not only did he make you the most hated man on earth he also made everyone think your in pre-k! That bastard!
plaguer 26
Do you mean people with think he's in pre-k because of the spelling? Because in that case you're going to be there with him.
littlemsweirdo 12
Your? Prepare for death by grammar nazis! (: lol
tsent8 15
I just realized I practically signed up for death by firing squad.
wickedninja918 1
why would you do that when you could've signed up for leathal injection... much less painfull (or so they say)
skullofdarkness 18
No, that's just a lie spread by sociopathic politicians. It's far more painful to go by lethal injections, but it's cleaner, and not as graphically violent to watch. It allows the family of a victim the closure of watching the killer die, without the PTSD from watching the killer's brains splatter against the wall.
gabe222 25
Personally, I'd prefer the brain splatter. Justice has been served on a silver platter.
tsent8 15
I don't think there would be enough to put on a silver platter when the grammar nazis get done.
kiljoy01 2
Great friend
saIty 17
If you want people to listen start with "I shouldn't be telling you this but.." Works every time.
planetsmurf 6
Don't get mad get even some way.
klorehore 24
if you can't convince him to talk to your girlfriend, then confront him about the situation using a camera or simply a voice recording device and lure a confession out of him. Yep, I just watched a crime show.
newburton13 26
Well, I think a camera confession and Japanese torture methods are in order.
Instagrants 8
You should convince your friend to explain it to everyone, given that it's his actions that got you into this mess. After that, you should seriously reconsider your friendship because, not going to lie, he doesn't seem to understand what's a joke and what's not even remotely funny. I just wonder why nobody will believe your side of the story? Surely your girlfriend should trust you enough to believe you if you say it wasn't you.
MedChew 19
Convince him? I'd grab him by the collar and drag him/her all the way to her doorstep.
wickedninja918 1
nah if I were op the so called "friend" would probably be in the damn hospital so I would have to convince her to go there
winkydog4056 16
Is that your genius spelling on your post or your friend's!? If it's yours, no wonder she won't listen.
white16sox 19
It wouldn't get through moderation if OP did it out of stupidity. That's why it's in quotes, it means OP is quoting his friend.
skullofdarkness 18
Which seems pretty legit. Only way I see a guy seriously saying that shit to his gf would be if he's drunk, in which case his spelling wouldn't be very good. Thus, the friend is either smart and completely evil for having put that much thought into it, or just a dumb ******* asshole.
ICastillo 25
Damn your friend deserves a swift kick to the dick.... maybe two?
wickedninja918 1
at least two
TheNewGuy03 29
Murder should be legal for situations such as these. He really needs to go on a blind date with a chainsaw -- if not for shafting the relationship to the point of no return, then for putting words such as "slampiece" into your mouth.