Today, my parents spent more time, money and effort on my boyfriend's... - FML

By secondchild

Today, my parents spent more time, money and effort on my boyfriend's birthday present than they ever have on any of mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1472

You deserved it

155

Tweet

Share

And today, on Dr Phil…

It's complicated

Toilet drama

By driver26 - Canada

Today, I was arguing in the car with my boyfriend about who was the better driver. Being so incensed by the fact that he thought he was better made me completely zone out, and run a red light. FML

I agree, your life sucks

7334

You deserved it

41113

Tweet

Share

By RyanJarmanForPresident - United States

Today, I caught my teenage daughter smoking, and tried calmly explaining to her that it's quite bad for her health. She replied with, "It doesn't harm you if you're under 20." FML

I agree, your life sucks

33176

You deserved it

5021

Tweet

Share

By published_anthropologist - United States

Today, my girlfriend of eight years explained to me that the Egyptian pyramids were built by aliens from Mars. I have a B.S. in Biology and an M.S. in Anthropology, and I am working on my Ph.D. She thinks I'm an irrational idiot for telling her she is wrong. FML

I agree, your life sucks

50984

You deserved it

10146

Tweet

Share

By Blanerd - United States

Today, I was in a work meeting because our clientele is unhappy with our service. I was in there because I don't correct our customers when they get my name wrong. My name is Blane, but "Blair", "Blake", "Lane", and "Glenn" got rave reviews. No one picked up on this. I hate my job. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29160

You deserved it

4275

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States - Lutz

Today, a few months after my co-worker had stopped wearing her engagement ring, I decided to put on the moves and start flirting with her. I soon found out that her fiancé had died, and that she's nowhere near over him, despite her brave face. I feel like a total asshole. FML

I agree, your life sucks

50054

You deserved it

25753

Tweet

Share

By chocobo

Supreme Betrayal

Today, I discovered that my family routinely waits until after my bedtime to order a pepperoni pizza, my favorite food. If that wasn't bad enough, I'm 17 and still have a strictly enforced bedtime. FML

I agree, your life sucks

4400

You deserved it

514

Tweet

Share

By browniepoints - United States

Today, it dawned on me that the most romantic thing my husband has done in the last three years, was a put a wedding ring on his xbox avatar. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29039

You deserved it

3508

Tweet

Share

By Ineedit - United States

Not now!

Today, my husband and I were going to have sex for the first time since having our baby, who was taking a nap. As soon as we lay down in bed, his mother rang saying she was five minutes away. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27934

You deserved it

2544

Tweet

Share

By unloved cat owner - United States - Carmichael

Today, out of boredom, I built my cat a little fort. Later, I decided to crawl inside to pet her, but as soon as I stuck my head in, she clawed me. I guess I'm not allowed in, then. FML

I agree, your life sucks

43585

You deserved it

9437

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I am taking a 16 hour flight. Five minutes in, the lady on one side has clipped her toenails onto me and the guy on the other side has the most horrific gas I have ever smelled. To help this problem he bought a cheese plate from the stewardess. 15 hours and 55 minutes to go. FML

I agree, your life sucks

40360

You deserved it

3220

Tweet

Share

By poorlyparented - United States - San Antonio

Today, my coworker decided to give me "the talk". I'm 21 and not a virgin, yet most of what she said was new to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

32065

You deserved it

5667

Tweet

Share

By dangeronpa

Today, I broke my glasses. My eyesight is horrible, I can’t see things that aren’t super close to my face. I'm supposed to drive to another state tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1601

You deserved it

189

Tweet

Share

By AnnieTheKitteh

Today, I came up with a new system: If I want to buy something, I must do a chore first. I thought my laziness would keep me from impulsive shopping. Instead, my entire apartment is sparkling clean. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3776

You deserved it

1020

Tweet

Share

By geeb - United States

Today, I had to confess to my mother that I was too hungover to take her to her AA meeting. FML

I agree, your life sucks

9561

You deserved it

36384

Tweet

Share

By anon - United States - Spencer

Today, I found out that my crush of a few years likes me. How? Her boyfriend told me, followed by a punch in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks

25339

You deserved it

1857

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 7/4/2021 23:00

Overreaction Man

Today, I told my boyfriend I’m pregnant. He told me not to worry, he’d pay child support until it’s 18, and he’d be moved out of our flat by Friday. When I asked him why, he told me not to be stupid, no way was he being trapped into raising a kid. He didn’t even ask if it was a boy or girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1339

You deserved it

593

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous

Denial

Today, I got told repeatedly to "stay in my lane" by a woman in her 40s. Why? Because I politely asked her if she had a mask when she entered the retail store I work in. Our policy is that everyone must wear a face mask in the store at all times. One hour down, 8 more to go. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1649

You deserved it

289

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States

Today, on a dating site, I was matched with my brother, again. FML

I agree, your life sucks

53242

You deserved it

5955

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 18/10/2020 14:02

The cheek of some people

Today, the girl my ex-husband cheated on me with, and left me for, called me and asked for money to bail him out of jail. She asked me because I have my own business and I'm financially stable. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1338

You deserved it

83

Tweet

Share

By could be an fml commenter - Canada - Toronto

Today, I got the chance to speak to some of the top academics in my field. I was so hungover that I couldn't remember the title of the Masters degree I've spent two years studying for, let alone make intelligent comments. I'm pretty sure the only thing I got right was my name. FML

I agree, your life sucks

15667

You deserved it

108063

Tweet

Share

By photonut13 - Canada

Today, I found out my mother had remarried, and that I was getting a stepfather and stepbrother. However I found out about it 30 minutes before we left to pick them up from the airport, and also found out that I'm losing my bedroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks

44467

You deserved it

2991

Tweet

Share

By dang.

Today, I figured out the bank account my mom set up for me is actually a joint account, and she gets half the money I deposit. I have been putting money in there for 10 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2021

You deserved it

516

Tweet

Share

By snarly1 - United States

Today, my boss asked me what language I was speaking. I was clearly speaking English, but apparently, "indifferent" is too big a word for him to understand. I don't know how he got into a management position. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27748

You deserved it

2088

Tweet

Share

By Ithoughtheywerenormalpeople - United States - Houston

Today, as I awoke, the sun was shining, the birds were tweeting, and police sirens were wailing at a drug bust next door. FML

I agree, your life sucks

43108

You deserved it

3698

Tweet

Share

By neverbeenkissed - United States

Today, I was helping my friend with her little sister's birthday party. We were playing a game where you get up and switch seats if you've done a certain thing. One girl said to switch if you've kissed a boy. I watched as 18 12-year-olds switched seats with each other. I stayed sitting. I'm 17. FML

I agree, your life sucks

54018

You deserved it

9034

Tweet

Share

By AlwaysAfraid

Today, I went on a date for the first time in almost a year. To keep things casual, he had a couple of his friends join. Oh and by a couple of friends, I mean a party of people from his church. I'm not religious. The date wasn't even half over before I was being preached to. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3086

You deserved it

262

Tweet

Share

By FreeToFly3733 - Canada

Today, I finally found my cellphone when I heard WHACKWHACKWHACK inside the washing machine. FML

I agree, your life sucks

17009

You deserved it

29243

Tweet

Share

By LaRae17 - United States

Today, I went to an elementary school for volunteer work. I was asked to read to a group of kids during one of the classes. Before I started reading, a girl raised her hand and asked me if I had a boyfriend and if I was single. I asked her why and she said "My daddy wanted to know." I'm 16. FML

I agree, your life sucks

38222

You deserved it

3963

Tweet

Share

By oh_mylanta - United States

Creep

Today, I went to work to find my creepy boss sitting in my office. I work the night shift, so it was very unusual to find him there. I asked how he was, and he replied, "I told my wife about us; she kicked me out." I've been working there a month. Also, I'm married and pregnant. So, excuse me, "US?" FML

I agree, your life sucks

101299

You deserved it

5345

Tweet

Share

By justfat - United States

Today, I was standing on a balcony smoking a cigarette when I noticed a woman giving me strange looks. When I put the cigarette out and went to walk inside she said "You shouldn't smoke while you're pregnant." I'm not pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks

68657

You deserved it

15576

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States - Houston

Watch movies

Today, I hired a babysitter to take care of my newborn. When I came home, she was having sex with her boyfriend in the crib while the baby sat and watched them. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2552

You deserved it

296

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I woke up to the sound of 4 gunshots from downstairs. I screamed, hid under the bed in tears and called the cops. Turned out my boyfriend hadn't been murdered by a burglar like I thought - he'd found a tarantula in our living room and decided to feed it a face full of lead. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30841

You deserved it

3724

Tweet

Share

By :( - United States - Parker

Today, I was at a swim meet, swimming as hard as I'd ever swum before. During the last lap I saw no one in the lanes next to me. Thinking I was first, I became extremely excited. When I came to the wall, I realized the reason no one else was around: They already finished the race. I was last. FML

I agree, your life sucks

52229

You deserved it

7682

Tweet

Share

By thwack - United States

Today, during a workplace safety exercise at work, I managed to cut off the tip of my thumb. FML

I agree, your life sucks

22004

You deserved it

3966

Tweet

Share

By Math_Rocker - United States

Today, I fell asleep in class. Usually, people just sit still when asleep. Nope, not me. Not only had I been violently rocking and nodding my head, the teacher stopped class for everyone to see for 5 minutes as she made jokes. What woke me? The intense laughter followed by embarrassment. FML

I agree, your life sucks

22278

You deserved it

35060

Tweet

Share

By Sammmmi - United Kingdom - Paisley

Today, I heard someone try to get into my back garden. I ran to the front door, opened it and shouted at whoever it was. I then saw a police officer appear, following the person who'd jumped my fence. I then realised I wasn't wearing any trousers. I'd shouted at the police half naked. FML

I agree, your life sucks

11608

You deserved it

1851

Tweet

Share

By Billie - 4/2/2021 00:01 - Bulgaria

Can't win

Today, my boyfriend was tidying up around the room. I asked him if he'd like me to help, to which he responded, "No, I don't need any help," then added, "Wish you weren't so lazy." FML

I agree, your life sucks

733

You deserved it

207

Tweet

Share

By Irritated - United States - Muncie

Today, I was sitting in a drive-thru with my girlfriend waiting for our food and the idiot behind me rear-ended me. I got out of the car to tell him he'd rear-ended me. He then argued with me, saying he "didn't feel it." FML

I agree, your life sucks

12751

You deserved it

857

Tweet

Share

By charliebravo77 - United States

Slippery

Today, I drove into the parking lot at work, and discovered too late that there were patches of ice everywhere. As I turned to enter my usual spot, I lost control of the vehicle, and despite my pleas, praying, and profanity, it glided straight into my boss's car. FML

I agree, your life sucks

33327

You deserved it

4382

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I moved back in with my parents in order to help them with the mortgage, so they don't lose the house that has been in our family for three generations. I also found out that I now have a curfew, and so does my husband and our 3 year old son. FML

I agree, your life sucks

38462

You deserved it

5077

Tweet

Share

Add a comment

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

By RichardPencil | 30

#7820457 - Friday 12 July 2019 17:40

It should be easy to get you an appropriate gift. They could buy you petty-fours, a pettycoat or any music from Tom Petty or NASCAR memorabilia of Richard Petty...

Seeing a pattern here?

By jsikes | 8

#7820514 - Saturday 13 July 2019 0:02

At least they like him

COMMENTS

By RichardPencil | 30

#7820457 - Friday 12 July 2019 17:40

It should be easy to get you an appropriate gift. They could buy you petty-fours, a pettycoat or any music from Tom Petty or NASCAR memorabilia of Richard Petty...

Seeing a pattern here?

Reply

MidnaLink | 32

#7820467 - Friday 12 July 2019 18:47

Not really. You should never really treat anyone better than your own children.

By jsikes | 8

#7820514 - Saturday 13 July 2019 0:02

At least they like him

By Emiweb | 9

#7820562 - Saturday 13 July 2019 4:43

I wonder if this is something you actually know, or if it's something you may be assuming.