Today, my moron of a teenager drank lube to lubricate his throat... - FML

By Anonymous - 27/04/2019 04:00

Today, my moron of a teenager drank lube to lubricate his throat during a coughing fit, thinking it would take away the itchiness in his throat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 210

You deserved it 383

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Same thing different taste

It burns

By WTF - 16/03/2011 22:05

Today, after my 22-year-old son realized that there was no more contact solution, he decided to use tequila because he thought it would "kill the germs." We had to go to the hospital to have his eyes flushed out. I raised this moron. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 518

You deserved it 12 552

Play Stupid Games, Win Stupid Prizes

By Anonymous - 09/02/2017 15:00 - United States - Stevenson Ranch

Today, after pranking my roommate several times by putting lube in his hand sanitizer bottle, he got me back by putting sanitizer in my lube. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 767

You deserved it 12 032

Adding injury to injury

By BeLoud13 - 11/09/2022 07:30

Today, I took cough syrup for a miserable COVID sore throat and harsh cough. It went down the wrong tube, and now I'm coughing worse, trying to get it out of my lungs. It hurts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 908

You deserved it 149

By Anonymous - 13/10/2014 00:38 - United States - Racine

Today, my son drank a bottle of hot sauce. It wasn't a dare, he actually thought that it would give him a fever so that he could skip school tomorrow. This idiot is 15 years old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 006

You deserved it 5 171

By Why Me - 15/08/2018 04:00

Today, I borrowed my friend's truck to move. After unloading everything, I worked up a killer appetite and went to a drive thru. I found some Germ X in the truck, so I could eat on the way home... or so I thought. It turned out to be anal lube. I covered my hands in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 886

You deserved it 668

TW: Gross

By Anonymous - 14/02/2011 00:09 - Denmark

Today, my roommate complained about his penis being smelly and itchy. It's been a week. Yesterday he woke me up in the middle of the night, asking if I had some kind of Vaseline or moisturizer he could use for the itching. He still refuses to go to the doctor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 414

You deserved it 2 835

By afather - 14/06/2015 13:41 - United States - Worthing

Today, I had to take my son to the hospital for drinking sunscreen. Apparently, he saw something on the internet that said if he drank it, his body would sweat it out and continually apply it to his body. He's 16. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 389

You deserved it 6 525

By Ramis182 - 03/10/2011 04:26 - United States

Today, my son thought it was a good idea to spray deodorant into his mouth because he wanted fresh breath. This resulted in him passing out. My son is 17. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 748

You deserved it 6 011

By finalfantasy - 21/06/2018 17:30 - United States - Aurora

Today, my brother thought it would be absolutely hilarious to replace my cold sore cream with superglue. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 843

You deserved it 265

By redeye - 19/09/2011 05:03 - United States

Today, my younger brother decided it would be funny to put rubbing alcohol in my contact lens case while I had them soaking overnight. I didn't realize this until I put the first one in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 668

You deserved it 2 458

Next

Top comments

RichardPencil 30

Saturday 27 April 2019 4:16

Moron? Really?!?! To me, that seems like a pretty slick move.

bloopaloop 27

Saturday 27 April 2019 4:32

His boyfriend probably told him to do that for other reasons.

Comments

MidnaLink 33

Saturday 27 April 2019 4:15

Poison control, they’re probably wonderful people right now.

Bubbilility 27

Sunday 28 April 2019 10:09

Oh... I thought, like, edible lube... but if it's car lube it will certainly stop the itching.

RichardPencil 30

Saturday 27 April 2019 4:16

Moron? Really?!?! To me, that seems like a pretty slick move.

bloopaloop 27

Saturday 27 April 2019 4:32

His boyfriend probably told him to do that for other reasons.

julfunky 29

Saturday 27 April 2019 5:56

He’s only a moron if it didn’t work..

CaptLightbulb 9

Saturday 27 April 2019 6:48

...did it work?

alycion 38

Saturday 27 April 2019 10:56

Sometimes anything is worth a try.

manb91uk 22

Saturday 27 April 2019 11:39

Lube is non-toxic so I can see the logic there. At least he's the kind of person who tries new things... Question is.. Whose lube was it? And are you more pissed off because you don't have any left anymore?

manb91uk 22

Monday 29 April 2019 0:16

Well, after I swallowed your dad's lubed-up ****, I felt bloody lovely! Shame his most defective sperm swims fastest though, you could have been SO much more!

protoskore 27

Saturday 27 April 2019 14:22

If ever an FML required a followup, it is this one

cperagui 18

Saturday 27 April 2019 16:34

oh no...this is why sex education is so important.

Bubbilility 27

Sunday 28 April 2019 10:08

I mean... did it work tho?

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You deserved it 26 051

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You deserved it 7 973

Today, I drank 1.5 litres of water. I didn't go to the bathroom for 9 hours. During my one-hour trek home on public transport, I was busting to pee but I managed to hold it. Walking 200 metres from my bus stop to my house was agony, but I still held it. When I got to my front door, I peed my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 099

You deserved it 45 444

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You deserved it 169

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I agree, your life sucks 52 789

You deserved it 9 890