Miscellaneous: Today, my friend sent me the link to this website with a message...

By AKN - United States

Today, my friend sent me the link to this website with a message that said, "You'll feel at home." FML

I agree, your life sucks

24415

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Miscellaneous

Proactive

There's no helping some people

They're everywhere

By latter - United States - Middle River

Today, I had to explain to my brother why it's not OK to stick his knob in the toaster. FML

I agree, your life sucks

43197

You deserved it

3290

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By Anonymous - 7/8/2020 23:01

XXL

Today, after losing 20 pounds, I decided to purchase new clothes. All of the clothes at the store were still too small for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1230

You deserved it

225

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By suckishbf - United States

Today, it's my birthday. My boyfriend's present to me was that he actually flushed the toilet AND put the seat down. FML

I agree, your life sucks

37778

You deserved it

6734

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By ZydecosGirl - United States - Harrisburg

Today, I started the bleaching treatments that my dentist recommended. Now, my two front teeth have ultra white spots, the rest of my teeth are still yellow and the roof of my mouth is burned. FML

I agree, your life sucks

44962

You deserved it

8542

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By leonieNL - Netherlands

Today, I got back from a 3 and a half week trip to South Africa to do volunteer work with children in townships. My parents forgot to pick me up, and I had to sit there by myself and wait for them, while 80 people of the same organization got loving hugs from their proud parents. FML

I agree, your life sucks

41489

You deserved it

3811

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By John - United States

Today, already knowing that my girlfriend wanted to be "just friends", I invited her over, hoping to change her mind. She was playfully drawing on me with a pen when I noticed she'd written "Emily's property" on my leg. I said "Aw, I'm yours?" She then drew a for-sale sign on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

42575

You deserved it

12021

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By CrappyValentine - Netherlands

Today, I tried convincing my Valentine-hating boyfriend to send me a card, by explaining how important it is to me. He finally agreed and sent me a card. I opened it up, and it wished me 'harmony and well-being on Lupercalia'. What is Lupercalia? It's an ancient Roman festival where men run down the street naked, whipping people with goat skins to encourage fertility. FML

I agree, your life sucks

11328

You deserved it

37779

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By Anonymous - 11/4/2020 05:00

Fixed

Today, my husband, who repairs appliances for a living, repaired our dryer. One lot of wet clothes later, it caught fire and ruined the laundry room. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1575

You deserved it

112

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By emkaycutie - United States

Today, I was giving a lecture to my class I heard a phone go off. Aggravated and exhausted, I asked everyone to turn their phones off. Then the phone rang again. I lost my shit and spent the next half hour calling my students a bunch of "technology whores". Then I realized the phone was mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks

18175

You deserved it

199673

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By Anonymous - United States - Fairfax

Today, as I was walking home from work, I became the victim of a drive-by peanutting. Yes, apparently I'm only worth a bag of nuts. FML

I agree, your life sucks

22619

You deserved it

2626

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By panicromanceX3 - United States

Today, my friends and I spent hours on the Disney website playing in Pixie Hollow. We made our own fairies and flew around completing tasks for TinkerBell and her fairy friends. We're in college, and this is how we spent our Saturday night. FML

I agree, your life sucks

28822

You deserved it

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By honeybunny90 - United States - Richmond

Today, my dog has found a new game he likes. It involves him rolling around on my new bed sheets to build up static electricity and run and poke me with his nose so I get shocked. FML

I agree, your life sucks

49394

You deserved it

5857

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By BudmaudeY - Sweden

Today, I noticed that the injury on my hand from three weeks ago no longer hurt. A while later, I accidentally slammed that same hand in a door. FML

I agree, your life sucks

23344

You deserved it

15788

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By talwin - Reserved

Today, I discovered that the more money I earn, the more my personal belongings break down on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30131

You deserved it

3259

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By w-dog - Canada

Today, after spending $15,000 to treat my dog's cancer over the past two months, he died of kidney failure. FML

I agree, your life sucks

60490

You deserved it

19774

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By Makala - Egypt

Today, in geometry class, we were working in dead silence. Apparently my phone wasn't on vibrate, and I received 25 texts all at once, while it blasted "Hakuna Matataaaa" out of my back pocket. They weren't even texts from friends, just Facebook notifications. FML

I agree, your life sucks

12151

You deserved it

35918

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By Loser - United States

Today, I learned that I have carpal tunnel syndrome. I got it from playing too much World of Warcraft. I got a disease in real life by living in a virtual world. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30103

You deserved it

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By beachbirdbait - United States - Savannah

Today, I drove to the beach for an hour to relax before returning to the intense workload of midterms. A kid walking by threw a cracker near me and I was instantly attacked by a group of seagulls. FML

I agree, your life sucks

6497

You deserved it

488

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By Anonymous - Germany - Augsburg

Today, I was awkwardly taking a dump at work, when a coworker in another stall started talking shit to me about our boss. I grunted and agreed, hoping he'd shut up and leave me alone. That's when a third guy sarcastically chimed in with insults from a third stall. It was our boss. FML

I agree, your life sucks

34815

You deserved it

11165

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By livay315 - United States

Today, my daughter's school was putting on a fashion show for charity and all the kids were supposed to ask their mothers to be in it. I asked my daughter about it and she said "well I was going to ask you, but they said only to 'ask all of your BEAUTIFUL mommies." FML

I agree, your life sucks

74769

You deserved it

4102

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By arghh - Australia

Today, I was on a tram and I noticed an older lady having trouble getting down the stairs. I immediately got up to help her, dropping my bag on the seat accidentally. As I went to get back on the tram, the doors closed. FML

I agree, your life sucks

36674

You deserved it

5550

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, my girlfriend of two years broke up with me because her father, who abandoned her before she was born and just reentered her life, doesn't approve. FML

I agree, your life sucks

40415

You deserved it

2414

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By Stoopiddogbot - United Kingdom - Swansea

Today, I came home to find the dog had learned how to open our stair-gate and kitchen door, devoured the entire fruitcake I'd made for a special occasion, and then vomited said fruitcake all over the fabric sofa. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29426

You deserved it

4358

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By MyLifeSucks - United States - Houston

Today, my mother accused me of stealing pills; she looked all over my room and couldn't find them. When she went back to the pantry, she saw them on the shelf below where they were supposed to be. She then accused me of putting them there while she was searching my room. FML

I agree, your life sucks

45887

You deserved it

2793

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By Anonymous - Australia - Richmond

Today, my future sister-in-law cancelled my invitation to her and my brother's wedding. Her reason was that I was incredibly rude to announce my pregnancy to my family at a time like this, because it took all the attention away from her. FML

I agree, your life sucks

56575

You deserved it

5234

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I ran into my boyfriend's dad. His exact words were, "Call me when you're ready to feel what a real man can do to you." FML

I agree, your life sucks

69400

You deserved it

5133

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By none - United States

Today, I realized you should always knock on your parents' door before entering. Even at 6:30 am. FML

I agree, your life sucks

17883

You deserved it

35159

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By anon - United States - Mantua

Today, I woke up and found $30 slipped under my door with a note that read, "Please buy yourself a quieter vibrator. -Mom and Dad." FML

I agree, your life sucks

62217

You deserved it

25871

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By nickrick12 - United States

Today, as a 1 year anniversary present, my boyfriend let me see and wear my engagement ring. He then made me give it back at the end of the day. FML

I agree, your life sucks

36060

You deserved it

5826

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By eliteslayer29 - United States

Today, I sent my resume to a place where I hoped to work at. Since the job requires me to be doing work on the run, I put on it that I have a laptop. The only problem is that I always thought it was "labtop." I didn't learn the correct spelling until my daughter called me an idiot, she's 6. FML

I agree, your life sucks

8436

You deserved it

42778

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By Renesmeekuhnell - Denmark

Today, I had to walk through the blistering snow, because my boss needed something really important: cream cheese. FML

I agree, your life sucks

28121

You deserved it

2967

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By anonymous - United States - Huffman

Today, I decided to give my dog a bath. Instead, my dog gave me a bath. FML

I agree, your life sucks

19917

You deserved it

3844

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By rholt - United States - Baldwin City

Today, as I was taking out the trash, I spotted my cute neighbor doing the same. In a rush to get out before he went back inside, I slipped on my iced-over porch. I passed out and woke up with a note on my chest saying, "I unlocked your door but you were too heavy to drag inside". FML

I agree, your life sucks

50365

You deserved it

8054

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By Not-so-sexy - United States

Today, I tried to send my boyfriend a sexy picture. I took a close up picture of my face, and, trying to be sexy, had my naked body reflected on a mirror in the background. First thing he says: "Who the hell is that guy in the background?" FML

I agree, your life sucks

25204

You deserved it

6806

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By Damn.... - United States

Today, I was given the ultimate ultimatum: either I suffer excruciating stomach pains and remain a hostage to the porcelain whirlpool goddess, or I stop taking pain medication and face the wrath of a raging infection in my jaw. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31757

You deserved it

3104

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By shit streak - 21/4/2020 20:00

KoBabe

Today, my husband was changing our son’s overflowing diaper. Instead of getting up and walking the putrid mess to the bin, he decided to shoot it basketball-style. He missed and it hit the wall, sliding down leaving a huge sloppy streak. He expected me to clean it. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2168

You deserved it

193

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By Anonymous - United States - San Diego

Today, the cashier at the local grocery store in my area said that I don't look a day over 40. I'm 28. FML

I agree, your life sucks

5014

You deserved it

378

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By Ages ago - Poland - Warsaw

Today, two guys robbed me. As I wrestled them on the ground, my best friend just stood next to all this, telling me to give them the money already, or we'd be late for school. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1866

You deserved it

215

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By jballer - United States

Today, I was driving home at night, and got into an accident. Someone had left a toilet in the middle of the road. I hit it. The toilet's fine, but my car now has a toilet-shaped dent in the front. FML

I agree, your life sucks

36998

You deserved it

6405

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By Harejordan - United States

Today, I was driving and stopped behind a person at a stop sign. Their car didn't move for about 1 minute. I got out of my car yelling at the person. It was an old woman. She wasn't breathing. FML

I agree, your life sucks

20080

You deserved it

36327

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Top comments

By 2random | 0

#1046 - Tuesday 10 February 2009 12:29

I don't get it. Then again, I'm dumber than a can of freeze-dried dicks. LOL.

By alchemist5 | 0

#32741 - Sunday 15 March 2009 14:46

it was a link to THIS website. like, the one you're on now.

COMMENTS

By 2random | 0

#1046 - Tuesday 10 February 2009 12:29

I don't get it. Then again, I'm dumber than a can of freeze-dried dicks. LOL.

sicpupyz122 | 0

#926958 - Tuesday 9 March 2010 2:22

O I get it now lol

lovemysnubber | 0

#1058572 - Saturday 3 July 2010 18:07

welcome :) but hey now you have a family of losers and now you can belong... :)

bogsaget76 | 0

#3028348 - Wednesday 3 August 2011 9:57

Youuu are the bomb

cameron_natasha | 0

#3046847 - Friday 5 August 2011 20:46

I still don't get it

simpleplan239999 | 1

#4064423 - Tuesday 21 February 2012 6:49

And clearly you did feel at home because you wrote a fml

DustyStorm | 16

#5221544 - Thursday 6 December 2012 21:37

Seriously glad I'm not the only one, lol

gennyv | 29

#6016774 - Thursday 24 July 2014 0:04

The friend sent a message to this website, as in FML

By guinness_fml | 0

#8578 - Friday 27 February 2009 13:36

welcome home

By hxc_noob | 0

#9408 - Saturday 28 February 2009 20:36

this website is great, and i love seeing how bad peoples lives suck when im having a bad day (:

tman188 | 0

#2813261 - Sunday 3 July 2011 15:02

his/her friend is saying that her life sucks

By deuce_wild | 0

#28511 - Thursday 12 March 2009 19:47

i still don't get it, whats with the welcome

SkateboardGirl88 | 11

#5064808 - Sunday 21 October 2012 9:01

"This website" is referring to FML.com

DaEpicTaco | 13

#6398951 - Tuesday 1 September 2015 7:15

But I'm on the app

By alchemist5 | 0

#32741 - Sunday 15 March 2009 14:46

it was a link to THIS website. like, the one you're on now.

By fucktheworld943 | 0

#33218 - Sunday 15 March 2009 21:38

ohhhh
i thought u were sayin this website like
a random website
but ur tlkin bout fmylife.com
ohhh

XxdustxX | 2

#5254053 - Monday 17 December 2012 3:21

*throws dictionary at your face*

By deuce_wild | 0

#33600 - Monday 16 March 2009 1:31

now i get it, i was thinking the same thing

By noname333 | 0

#41918 - Thursday 19 March 2009 3:44

ya i didnt get it at first either

By Dimaranien | 1

#44711 - Friday 20 March 2009 10:20

don't we all.

By Nuahavizu | 17

#54668 - Tuesday 24 March 2009 6:23

Haha, my friend did that too.