Kids: Today, I was teaching my 4 year old daughter how to use "stranger...

By imnotastranger - 09/05/2014 03:01

Today, I was teaching my 4 year old daughter how to use "stranger danger". Later that day, we went out and since I didn't buy her a ice cream, she kept screaming "STRANGER DANGER!" A total stranger tackled me until the cops arrived. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 617

You deserved it 6 929

Labour Day: Rest or Disaster?
Find out how a day off can turn into a series of hilarious, unexpected events. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Running gag

By TheJoker - 12/05/2009 05:25 - United States

Today, I was jogging in my neighborhood when I saw a kid's ball roll over to where I was jogging. I stopped, grabbed the ball for the kid and went to hand it to him. He then yelled, "Stranger danger!" and his parents came sprinting out. I had to explain the story to the police for 30 minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 804

You deserved it 3 200

By gloomy - 15/08/2017 20:00

Today, my daughter and I went to the mall. While we were looking for clothes, she walked away from me and touched a man on the arm and smiled and said "Hi!" The man freaked out and screamed at me for letting that "thing" in public and to "wear a condom next time." FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 796

You deserved it 804

Fight Club Penguin

By mama bear - 05/06/2020 20:00

Today, I punched an older woman in the face. I only hit her after she grabbed my 4-year-old daughter and told her to, "stop dancing like a whore!" My daughter was so terrified, she peed her pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 011

You deserved it 213

Stranger danger

By john doe - 07/12/2013 17:29 - United States - Portland

Today, my 6 year-old daughter got mad at me for not buying her yet another expensive doll. I had to pull her away, and she started screaming for help. The next thing I know, another shopper puts me in a chokehold and calls for security, all while my daughter smirks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 041

You deserved it 6 207

By unknown - 15/09/2011 00:21 - United States

Today, I got a call from my daughter's school saying that she had beat someone up. She's 4. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 165

You deserved it 6 094

By anonymous - 13/03/2016 19:53 - United States - Marysville

Today, when my son gets mad in a store, he will scream stranger danger and run away from me, and to an employee, and ask for help. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 961

You deserved it 2 412

The Headmaster Ritual

By angry mama - 21/09/2019 00:01

Today, while picking my daughter up from school, I saw her being beaten by two boys while the teacher stood there doing nothing. I ran to help, but then she pushed one of the boys off her. The teacher then pulled her away, yelled at her and then yelled at me for "not raising my kid right." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 793

You deserved it 123

Straight to jail

By anon - 15/07/2011 01:51 - United States

Today, my child was refusing to leave the playground. I had to pry her, screaming and crying, from the monkey bars. I then realized I had been assaulting someone else's kid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 997

You deserved it 70 931

Stranger Danger!

By tried to help - 07/10/2019 00:01

Today, I was going into a store and saw a woman roughly handling a screaming toddler. I kept walking, until I heard the kid scream, "Help! You’re not my mommy!” I called 911 and stood behind the car to keep her from taking off. The cops arrived to see me fending off blows from a very pissed off grandma. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 506

You deserved it 655

By DocShadow - 03/12/2013 17:33 - United States - New York

Today, my 4-year-old daughter stood up to a bully in the mall. I was the one who was getting bullied. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 651

You deserved it 8 829

Pleonasm 35

Friday 9 May 2014 13:19

She screamed, you screamed, they all screamed for icescream.

MattM95 16

Friday 9 May 2014 13:18

Kids will do anything for ice cream.

Comments

larrena2377 26

Friday 9 May 2014 13:17

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway

canupls 6

Friday 9 May 2014 13:57

yeah, not good places, but places

gramirez23 9

Friday 9 May 2014 14:15

Future lawyer

ItsJustMe1616 26

Friday 9 May 2014 14:31

Yeah kid is definitely going places lol Maybe to social services at that kind of a rate...

Kamon97 23

Friday 9 May 2014 15:59

And get all the ice cream she wants :p

scooterdude720 19

Friday 9 May 2014 16:31

Sounds like the "YOU'RE NOT MY DADDY!" FML

CyberGothic 16

Saturday 10 May 2014 2:03

Definitely going places. Like her room. Till she's 18.

TheyCallMeDamien 17

Saturday 10 May 2014 2:43

Nope future politician. The WMDs are right over there.

DJSKAMPER 4

Thursday 15 May 2014 4:50

she's going places not college but places

MattM95 16

Friday 9 May 2014 13:18

Kids will do anything for ice cream.

fortune789 17

Friday 9 May 2014 19:21

Yeah, she wasn't lying. There was a dangerous stranger there and he tackled her mother.

ekaat11 17

Friday 9 May 2014 20:52

Or the stranger tackled her father

ohcheriecherie 20

Saturday 10 May 2014 0:00

well, hopefully watching her dad get tackled because of something she did will teach the kid a lesson

katertott 44

Saturday 10 May 2014 5:54

Well if she found it entertaining, she'll learn to do this again, and again, and again...

Tratto 2

Saturday 10 May 2014 9:23

What would you do for a Klondike Bar?

nk94 13

Saturday 10 May 2014 21:30

I'd do anything for ice cream too

MissStephanie 10

Sunday 18 May 2014 9:55

101, not if she gets a good ass whoopin when she gets home! My parents would never let me get away with anything like that when I was younger, and hell, I knew better.

Pleonasm 35

Friday 9 May 2014 13:19

She screamed, you screamed, they all screamed for icescream.

schhichick 14

Friday 9 May 2014 20:54

she screamed stranger danger and the parent screamed from being tackled... for ice cream

lambda_fml 40

Friday 9 May 2014 21:17

iScream.

WD_Stevens 22

Saturday 10 May 2014 5:26

There is actually an ice cream shop called Iscream near where I live. I thought it was genius (and the ice cream's pretty good as well)

ConstantlyAnna 8

Saturday 10 May 2014 14:18

Clearly one of the best comments. Ever!

Matttis 7

Friday 9 May 2014 13:23

You are raising a damn genius! ^.^

Drake_The_Dragon 23

Friday 9 May 2014 13:23

Ice cream.... Parents worst nightmare.

bleeping 5

Friday 9 May 2014 13:24

That's from the show outnumbered.

pwnman 33

Friday 9 May 2014 13:26

Seems like she was thinking - "I SCREAM, FOR ICE CREEEEEAM!".

Jiplo 18

Friday 9 May 2014 14:58

I'll scream, they'll scream, if you don't get me ice cream!!!!

refticon 31

Friday 9 May 2014 13:27

Better give her what she wants because she knows how to get it eventually OP

sweetbliss3 37

Friday 9 May 2014 13:42

hope this is sarcasm. nothing like rewarding kids who do things wrong and reinforcing them to keep doing wrong bc they know theyll get what they want.

184886837272837 32

Friday 9 May 2014 14:13

Listen to #14! You don't want to end up with a kid like Eric Cartman

Ashleefailsxo 4

Saturday 10 May 2014 0:54

What's OP mean?

KittyLahv 27

Saturday 10 May 2014 1:30

#82, On FML it means "Original Poster," which refers to the author of the post.

jgmarines 4

Friday 9 May 2014 13:36

Kids say the darnedest things.

JuzReading 23

Friday 9 May 2014 13:39

Don't think that really counts considering OP's daughter was taught to say it...

lee126 13

Friday 9 May 2014 14:08

Jgmarines was saying a line from an old famous tv show staring Bill Cosby and random kids.

junkman6 22

Friday 9 May 2014 14:34

That show is considered old.... That's it midlife crisis time. I already have to listen to "classic rock" or "oldies" to hear the music I grew up with. T-T

pjsr 32

Friday 9 May 2014 15:45

You're both too young to know what you're talking about! Cosby had a show for a couple lackluster seasons, but it was a remake of an Art Linkletter show segment that was on for 25 YEARS. Rookies!

RedPillSucks 31

Friday 9 May 2014 15:58

^This guy is really old!

DanielleinDC 33

Friday 9 May 2014 18:57

All of a sudden, I'm hearing the line in the Bowling for Soup song wondering when Motley Crue became classic rock and when did Ozzy become an actor. What's really scary is when the Muzak you hear in your office building is the shit you grew up with.

queenofinsanity 4

Saturday 10 May 2014 1:58

actually it was a show starring Art Linkletter. Bill Cosby did the remake.

RedPillSucks 31

Saturday 10 May 2014 17:15

Not sure why #85 is being thumbed down. This is correct. I guess too few people are old enough to be aware of the first show. EDIT: I guess because it was a repeat of #40?