I'm going to throw this out there. Maybe, just maybe, OP loves his fiancée and doesn't want to leave her over something that is not her fault. As for complaining on the Internet, that's basically what FML is for- to amuse people with your problems. Therapy and/ or medication can help with the OCD. It doesn't have to ruin their lives.

Ever thought he's just letting off a little steam in a safe and inoffensive way instead of having a go at her?

Wow, this is the most heartless comment I've seen from you. OCD can get better sometimes with behavioral therapy. He went into the relationship and engagement knowing she had OCD; he would be considered a complete asshole if he called it off now. This isn't a "run away" situation. This is a "grow-some-balls-and-support-the-woman-you-love" kind of situation.

No, it's spending the rest of his life walking on eggshells wondering what he's going to do wrong next. It's a kind of emotional abuse I wouldn't wish on anyone. It's not worth it. Run! You can do better. You were warned OP.

As I said, OP's best option for his future wife is behavioral therapy. My husband is bipolar. With proper medication, therapy and support, he is fine 95% of the time. When he is having a flare up of symptoms, we work through it together. There is no way OP didn't know that she had OCD before proposing. When you commit your life to someone with a disorder, the vow "for better or worse" takes on a more significant meaning, and I am sure OP realizes that. You don't run away from problems when you love someone. You act like a mature adult, and handle the situation.

You got married at 21, not sure you can be considered an expert in this kind of thing. I agree with Calyx. It's not worth it.

What does age matter. Marriage is marriage whether you are 16, 21 or 67! She's more of an expert than unmarried 21 year olds, and for sure unmarried 17 year olds... As a depression sufferer (medicated well, therapy undergoing) it is a lot of strain on my partner, but he loves me and works through it all with me. Even if I am on the 3rd month of a negative turn (as I am now) he is supportive and has never tried to 'run', because he loves me and wants to help in any way he can.

Age matters because she's probably had a happy marriage so far. So she's probably not an expert in red flags and marriage-ending problems.

143- You obviously didn't read all of my replies to Calyx. My husband is bipolar, which is generally a red flag and often a marriage ending problem. My age is truly irrelevant. What I'm going through with my husband to ensure he's healthy, is a lot more problematic than what a lot of older couples go through. Also re: your earlier comment about it not being worth it, he should've made that decision before proposing to her.

Kyleekey - I'm not trying to say you're too young to know what you're talking about, as the majority of your posts are well thought out, and intelligent. However, dealing with a spouse who has a mental disorder, or any other illness affecting not only themselves but often everyone around them, is not always something that can be handled long term. It takes an incredibly strong person to put up with a mental disorder often expressed through emotional abuse, which often can build to physical abuse. When the person refuses to get help, or their abusive behaviours get worse as the years go on, it can become a nightmare for those who have been standing by them. I've been with my husband 15 years, 13 years married. He was wonderful when we met, he was an amazing husband for a few years, even with OCD, and manic depression. About 11 years ago, he became controlling, emotionally and occasionally physically abusive, and over the past 7 years has become an alcoholic in denial. I am at a point in my life where I am stuck until either I can afford to get out with our kids, or until he gets better. Since he refuses to get treatment, which do you think will come first? If these signs were there prior to us getting married, there would be no way I would have stayed with him. Loving someone through their problems is one thing, but when those problems escalate to abuse, it's time to love yourself more and make smart decisions. Maybe OP shouldn't run right away, but at least put the wedding on hold until his fiancée gets and maintains treatment.

Sorry... Kyleek*a*y...don't know why Autocorrect put an e in there.

175- I agree that if the situation comes to abuse AND the person affected by the disorder is refusing treatment, then it's okay to leave. It's okay to leave at that point, because you've done all that you can do. I am so sorry to hear about your situation, that must be really tough. I am scared to death that my husband will end up that way. Right now, thankfully, he is taking his medication and going to therapy, and he's fine. He was only recently diagnosed with Bipolar, so things right now are actually much better than the couple of years I was with him when he wasn't diagnosed. For me, it's been much easier to deal with since we now know what we are faced with. As for your situation, don't wait to get out. There should be a resource hotline in your area that you can call to help you and your children get to safety. As for OP's wife-to-be, it's very likely that her OCD is agitated by the stress of the wedding. If her "new low" is simply yelling, it appears that there is still hope to help her get well. Once again, behavioral therapy would be a great option. From what I've read, that therapy type is most helpful to OCD patients.

I am over twice your age kyleekay and have had many times more long term relationship experience than you. Marriage is not like dating. People change. Sometimes for the better and sometimes for the worse. Staring off a marriage with someone with a crippling mental disorder that can very easily spiral into abuse is a huge mistake. Think of it this way. If OP plans to commit his life to this woman than what is the rush to get married NOW? They are going to be together for 60 years. What's another 2 or 3 to wait and get a better feel for the situation. Either way they are still together. But in that time he may come to see that he is not strong enough to put his life on hold to deal with her spiraling mental issues and abuse. My wife has stage 4 breast cancer. I knew she had a history of cancer when we married and knew that I still wanted to support her through it. However, it's only because she is kind and loving. Is she were a neurotic harpy with mental issues I'd have never even dated her in the first place. Marriage and life is VERY LONG. As a young person you have no idea what that means. You may think you do but you don't. I hope it works out for everyone but my advice to OP remains the same. DO NOT MARRY HER!

Age is irrelevant. My being young does not make me ignorant or naive, as you seem to think. I agree that starting a relationship with someone who has a mental disorder can be treacherous, however OP made the decision that he wants to marry her, and should first try and work through the problems before jumping straight to calling off the wedding. I am not against holding off on the marriage until OP is comfortable. But, that was not your original point. Your original comment told him to call of the wedding, and to leave her. I am sorry to hear about your wife, truly. I lost two people to cancer last year. However, it is hard to compare cancer to a mental illness. Mental disorders cause people to act in a way that they normally wouldn't, and it takes special care to help them lead fully normal lives. So once again, waiting a few years is not unreasonable; but since OP proposed knowing full-well that she is OCD the right thing to do would be to try and work through it. Again, my being young does not make me as ignorant as you seem to feel I am. I recognize that life and marriage are long. I remembered that fact when my husband was diagnosed with Bipolar disorder, and committed to work through it with him.

Somebody getting married at a young age is still married for the same length of time as someone who got married when they were older. Im not seeing how "you got married at a young age" equals "you haven't been married long enough to go through the turmoil" if anything getting married when you're young means you've had more time in marriage to the person.

Her husband is bipolar. Obviously they've gone through some difficult times, and it's not all sunshine and daisies. Just because you marry young doesn't mean that you haven't gone through hard times.