Today, my fiancé called and hung up right after I answered. He called back 5 minutes later demanding to know the name of the man who answered my phone. This "man" was me. I have bronchitis. Yes, he's aware of this. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my co-worker handed me the phone and said it was my boyfriend calling, so I answered "Hello, Love!" It was my boss. FML
Today, I called back a number I'd recently missed a call from. To my surprise, it was my boyfriend's fiancée's number. I've been with him four years, he's been with her for six. Turns out, not only is he a cheating jerk, but technically I'M the other woman. FML
Today, I had an asthma attack while in bed with my boyfriend. He interrupted my desperate coughing only to tell me to shut up. He then rolled over to go back to sleep. FML
Today, I called my boyfriend's job to ask him a question. His co-worker answered the phone, and when I asked for my boyfriend, he assumed I was someone else. Who exactly would that someone else be? FML
Today, I called one of my old coworkers to see how she was doing. My boyfriend answered the phone. FML
Today, I called my boyfriend to let him know that I'm pregnant. He instantly replied "Bullshit!", then hung up and apparently skipped town. FML
Today, I got a call from the guy I have been seeing. I wasn't him. It was his wife wondering why I have her husband's number. FML
Today, I was rushing to leave work and get home because I really had to use the bathroom. My phone rang and I thought it was my husband, so I answered by saying, "I really have to poop." Yep, not my husband. It was one of my employees, who has the same name. FML
Today, I called my boyfriend and a woman answered. Turns out, she's also his girlfriend. She broke up with me on his behalf. FML
Today, I was on the phone with my boyfriend. I had to fart really badly, so thinking that he wouldn't hear me, I did so. He heard me and asked, "Did you fart?" I said "No, it was my dog." I don't have a dog, and he knows this. FML
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Top comments
imustbeinsane 2
Ask him who the little girl that called from his number the first time was
DocBastard 40
Tell him it was your parole officer. He'll be so glad you aren't cheating that he's bound to just forget the whole thing.
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Comments (103)
ICATiger 13
That's deep...
zaza_x_fml 5
Call him back, speak in the exact same voice and tell him something -preferably something dirty- that only you guys would understand. That should shut him up. :D
stuffhappens223 7
Wow maybe you should rethink your relationship?
stuffhappens223 7
Come on people just suggesting
emilyjgraham 34
little bit over the top don't you think? maybe since op and her fiance spoke last her voice has gotten deeper or he has a reason to be paranoid? like everyone reasonable on this site says, there's always two sides to a story. although saying this, it's not nice to be accused either
ImInYourFACEbook 8
And I'm just suggesting that you rethink your comment.
ladyLALAA 29
When he gets home start talking dirty to him, see how he likes it..
Ballin8864 4
Aw :( Feel better soon!
Pentium_4 27
guys are easily blinded by jealousy
LolCakes111 7
Guys and Girls are equally blinded by jealously, men just don't show it mostly. What would you do if you called your boyfriend's number, only to hear a random girl on the other line? the Fiance didn't have a whole minute to think about it, he had a second. Hasted judgement. People are only saying "Your Husband is an asshole" because THEY had as much time as they wanted to think about what they're going to say.
Pentium_4 27
lol i'm definitely not sexist, i was just speaking from experience. i get jealous really easily. i know girls get pretty jealous too
Pentium_4 27
on a side note, TF2 is a pretty boss game
LolCakes111 7
Forgiven for knowing TF2 =D. I think Valve's gone crazy on the latest updates though, the weapons have no downsides. And people still think it's Snipe Fortress 2 or Spy Fortress 2. Too bad many of the people here probably don't know what it is...
Pentium_4 27
so true!!!
pitchblease 2
Dude looks like a ladie
FlotatiousTurd 1
ask him why he has small penis
opinionmaker 7
are you trying to cover up the guy at your place? you might just point out to this site later to tell your bf how lame he was to doubt you. >:)
ohmandapants 17
So he called and hung up without saying anything, then called back accusing you of being with another man? Because your voice is low and hoarse...maybe he was making a bad joke.."you sound like a man haha"...or maybe he doesn't trust you whatsoever and you need to have a discussion with him about that now.