Today, my fiancé called and hung up right after I answered. He called back 5 minutes later demanding to know the name of the man who answered my phone. This "man" was me. I have bronchitis. Yes, he's aware of this. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, my co-worker handed me the phone and said it was my boyfriend calling, so I answered "Hello, Love!" It was my boss. FML
Today, I called back a number I'd recently missed a call from. To my surprise, it was my boyfriend's fiancée's number. I've been with him four years, he's been with her for six. Turns out, not only is he a cheating jerk, but technically I'M the other woman. FML
Today, I had an asthma attack while in bed with my boyfriend. He interrupted my desperate coughing only to tell me to shut up. He then rolled over to go back to sleep. FML
Today, I called my boyfriend's job to ask him a question. His co-worker answered the phone, and when I asked for my boyfriend, he assumed I was someone else. Who exactly would that someone else be? FML
Today, I called one of my old coworkers to see how she was doing. My boyfriend answered the phone. FML
Today, I called my boyfriend to let him know that I'm pregnant. He instantly replied "Bullshit!", then hung up and apparently skipped town. FML
Today, I got a call from the guy I have been seeing. I wasn't him. It was his wife wondering why I have her husband's number. FML
Today, I was rushing to leave work and get home because I really had to use the bathroom. My phone rang and I thought it was my husband, so I answered by saying, "I really have to poop." Yep, not my husband. It was one of my employees, who has the same name. FML
Today, I called my boyfriend and a woman answered. Turns out, she's also his girlfriend. She broke up with me on his behalf. FML
Today, I was on the phone with my boyfriend. I had to fart really badly, so thinking that he wouldn't hear me, I did so. He heard me and asked, "Did you fart?" I said "No, it was my dog." I don't have a dog, and he knows this. FML
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Top comments
imustbeinsane 2
Ask him who the little girl that called from his number the first time was
DocBastard 40
Tell him it was your parole officer. He'll be so glad you aren't cheating that he's bound to just forget the whole thing.
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Comments (103)
heyitscandace 9
Well fiancé weirdness aside, I hope you get better! (:
DaMan25 4
@9 ur stupid
AustinBlansett 0
Fag.
ohmandapants 17
Who the **** thumbed this up. You're an idiot.
hateevryone 15
he's an idiot
AmbrosiaWriter 17
That's the weirdest logic I've seen in a while (not including NotAlwaysRight stories): *Calls fiance and hears masculine voice* WTF *Slams phone down* ~Five minutes later~ That guy should be gone now so I'll call again *Calls fiance and hears the same masculine voice* Who the hell was that guy that answered your phone before! Something just seems off. I guess if I called my BF and heard a feminine voice I'd ask who it was instead of just slamming down the phone, it could be that his sister/mother quick answered his phone for him (in this situation it could've been that her brother/father answered it while they were checking in on her.) I wish you speedy recovery OP!
AmbrosiaWriter 17
Uh, you've never had bronchitis have you? If you had it wouldn't make any sense to you at all.
xSorry_fml 10
A blooming relationship based on trust. Good luck getting married, can't wait to hear your future FMLs about your crazy jealous husband.
Hellbound_Alleee 14
Run, don't walk. DTMFA.
bgut159 1
Did your balls also drop..?
_MidnightLuna_ 17
Lol. Great catch. You're dating a moron, get out now before it's too late.
N8George 9
He made a mistake, relax your ****