Today, my father took me out for some driving lessons. Out of nowhere, a huge, apparently suicidal bird dove into the windshield, putting a crack in it. My father yelled at me as if it was my fault, and is demanding I pay for the repairs. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my husband thought it would be funny to drive my car through a flock of vultures eating road kill. Since a bird hit the mirror and broke it, I now have to pay for a replacement. FML
Today, as I was driving, a bird swooped down, right in front of my car. I didn't have enough time to react, and so I had to listen to my wife cry the rest of the way home. She kept talking about how it bounced off the windshield and how it probably had a family. FML
Today, I was driving my 7-year-old daughter to school, when out of nowhere a bird smashed into the windshield. Instead of screaming or being traumatized by the gore like me, my daughter started laughing, eventually calling the bird a "stupid bastard". FML
Today, as I was driving home from work, a bird decided to commit suicide by flying in front of my car. The shock caused me to slam on the brakes, totaling three other cars in the process. FML
Today, I was driving home on the highway with my wife and her parents. As I overtook another car, a rock got kicked up into our windshield. My wife screamed about the crack it created, while my mother-in-law goaded her on and mocked my "piss-poor driving." FML
Today, I spent an hour and a half washing my car. As I was driving down the highway, a large bird flew over my car and accidentally dropped the dead animal he was about to have for dinner. It landed on my windshield. FML
Today, my dad was driving me to college. I'd cracked a joke about how old people like him shouldn't be allowed to drive, and I guess he took it personally, what with him speeding straight up to the parking lot wall, and only braking after I started shrieking in terror. FML
Today, my father took me out for some driving lessons. I accidentally reversed while still in the driveway, and I instinctively hit the brakes. In my panic, I accidentally let go of the brakes, and ended up reversing straight into our house, all while my father yelled "NOOOOOO!" FML
Today, my son broke a window at school playing football. Not only did he break one, he broke the other window next to it. His excuse? He tried making it look like a bird flew in one way and flew out the other. I have to pay $800 to fix it. FML
Today, I was driving my parrot home from the vet. As I was driving home, I decided to let her sit on my shoulder. Something scared her, and she started flapping in my face, causing me to crash my car into a tree. FML
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Top comments
Indianboy9321 25
Your dad is just trying to save face because there really is no one to blame for it. Try and explain to him it isn't your fault, otherwise you would have gladly paid. Don't flip him the bird though.
barfcannon 24
It's like Angry Birds in real life.
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Comments (72)
PhilSnake22 13
You should just try and out-bullshit him on this one. Say something like "I'm just learning how to drive Dad, I'm way to inexperienced to be dealing with suicidal birds, you should have stepped in. This is your fault Dad, not mine." You're welcome.
HeyTherexxx 21
Your dad needs to calm down and rethink. FYL, OP.
olpally 33
Your dad is a dumb ass and should pay for it.
pwnman 33
Is he going through a mid-life crisis?
SouthernLady12 13
"I believe I can..." *splat*
NodakN8V 25
Could be worse...could have been a deer trying to dive across your hood
breakinlegs 19
You should have seen my dad teach me to drive a stick. He made me cry multiple times every lesson.
Witchylady 18
Yell at him back and tell him to pay for it.
cakefete2 31
Poor bird was probably in need of antidepressants but could get the healthcare.gov site up and running long enough to sign up.
Cherryta 17
Flappy bird!