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Add a comment - Reply to : #
It's traditional to get the father's blessing before getting married. And besides that, it's generally good manners to ask all parents involved for their blessing before a couple gets married. My husband asked my father; I asked his mother. Manners matter to some people.
88- Why? Do you think that husbands own their wives? That's where it originally came from. When a girl was married off to a man, she was expected to take his name, to represent that she was no longer part of her original family, but the property of his. It's no more disrespectful for a woman to choose not to take her husband's last name than it is for him to choose not to take hers. Many cultures don't change their last names at all. In the end, it's a simply a choice. If a woman wants to take her husband's last name, then that's just her choice, and people should do what their comfortable with. If she chooses not to, that's not disrespectful, it's just a personal preference. It's a subject that needs to be discussed before marriage, to make sure that both parties are on the same page. I honestly think that if a woman choosing not to take her husband's last name is a deal breaker for him, if he would call off a wedding over it, then he must not love her, just the idea of having her.
It's not really impolite is it though? The impoliteness just comes from traditional mindsets like that, what's impolite about not asking for the parent's blessing to marry the person you love? And what if the parent said no, wouldn't it be impolite then to continue and marry? The whole idea of asking for blessings is kind of broken, since it's basically just asking for the parent's opinion, and if you're a mature adult you wont let their answer change anything anyways. I guess it would be nice to make the parents feel necessary in the situation even though they aren't.
I hate bullshit opinions like #88's. You're basing your idea of "respect"...on what, exactly? What studies have proven that a woman who takes her husband's last name is any more respectful than a woman who doesn't? I'm very respectful of my husband. He's very respectful of me. I didn't want to take his last name for personal reasons and that's my prerogative; it has nothing to do with a lack of respect. There are many wives who are respectful of their husbands without needing to take his last name, just like there are many wives who are disrespectful and cruel to their husbands even though they have taken their last names. Taking a name has nothing to do with how respectful a person is/will be in a marriage.
91- in a traditional marriage it is supposed to be the bride to be's family that pays for the wedding. But then again, back when they did that, the husband to be would present her family with a dowry. These days it's a collaboration of the bride and groom's family's that help pay along with said bride and groom.
She said blessing, not permission. Is it such a horrible thing to get your parents' blessing to get married? Nowhere did she say she required it, or that she would not have gotten married had she not received the blessing. It's just a nice thing to have. I hope my parents approve of whomever I choose to marry, too.
My best friend's last name is Bueno, which translates to good in English. She's trying to get pregnant and she jokingly asked if they have a boy, can he be name Richard. Her husband said he didn't care. She's sad because his nick name would be Dick Good and her husband doesn't give a damn. She's limited to names due to how badly kids are cruel these days. Parents have to be careful about first names and common nick names that go with the first names. Then you have to add the last name to the mix.
Actually, when women don't get laid for a long time, their girl friends jokingly say that the lady is growing cobwebs down there. The joke is only funny the first 10 times. OP is stuck with this last name that is commonly used for what I just explained. Of course, I'm getting a good laugh out of it but I can already see how annoyed she will be within months of being married.
I really hope you dress like a goth.