By fuck you, gran - 09/03/2013 00:38 - United States - Ashland

Today, my family threw me my 21st birthday party. My grandma's gift turned out to be a pack of condoms. "Not that you'll ever get to use them," she said, turning and walking off, cackling maniacally. Now I remember why I never talk to the old crone. FML
I agree, your life sucks 32 034
You deserved it 4 065

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"Fuck you gran"? For what exactly do you intend to use your first birthday condom, sir?

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Oh no! My grandma has a sense of humor!

Prove her wrong and get a girlfriend.

Then make a sextape and email it to her!

It's his 21st... He should just get laid for being the birthday boy! Hopefully it's not just a family orientated party...

"In yo face gramma!"

caypride 5

At least she wants you to be safe!

"Fuck you gran"? For what exactly do you intend to use your first birthday condom, sir?

Wouldn't need those past menopause.

FarFromSocial 9

#5 Your profile pic + your comment = my night made

14 - Pregnancy is actually possible after menopause, I believe, but exceedingly rare. Also during peri-menopause.

PerditaDessa 38

14, Might want one just in case. Condoms lessen the chance of STD transmission, and there's no telling what Grandma's been up to.

BellaBelle_fml 23

29 - You are partially correct in that yes, it is possible for a woman to become pregnant in the early and peri menopausal period. It is just exceedingly rare and the risks of having some very serious complications are substantially higher than those of a younger woman. So it is not generally recommended to become pregnant at that age and stage of early menopause. However, I believe that one of the only ways, if not the only way, a woman is able to bear a child after their menopause has completely finished is to have a donor's egg fertilized, typically by the woman's partner's sperm, and implanted into the uterus. But again, the risk of having something go terribly wrong during the pregnancy, labour, and delivery at that stage of life are so great that it may cause serious birth defects and sometimes the death of the mother, the child, or even both the mother and the child. Also, sometimes women think that they are completely finished with the menopausal stage, which can take up to ten years, but aren't really finished yet. Menopause causes the hormones estrogen and progesterone to fluctuate. Sometimes it goes way up. And sometimes it goes way down, which can give the woman the impression that her menopause is complete. It is when the hormones fluctuate way up during the peri menopausal stage that becoming pregnant is more possible to occur. Oh my, the human body really is a complex work of art, isn't it? Learning how the body functions and how each system works together is so intriguing to me!

If he DID get grammaw pregnant, then would her son or daughter be his mother or father? Or just his uncle or aunt?

BellaBelle_fml 23

^ Dear god that would be so confusing. And not only for other people, but also for that poor child! Imagine going through life not really knowing where you fit into your family. I so hope that there aren't any families like that. But unfortunately there probably are a few…

Adippy1 4

You are an idiot. STDs still happen after menopause.

Can we all just stop talking about him banging his grandma? This thread is seriously fucked up.

What. So confusing. Can't think. Overload.

my god you made me laugh so hard i snorted in the middle of class!

mpj13 8

That rubs me the wrong way.

Ouch, just smile and wave.

Use one then tie it to her doorknob

Ouch! Prove her wrong buddy

You're grandma is awesome OP