By Anonymous - United States - Rahway

Double dipping

Today, I found out that I mean nothing to the man I have loved for over a year. He has been taking vacations with another woman, and is in fact, on a vacation with her right now. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1762

You deserved it

210

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Late term

Deadly cocktail

No smoking

By scarletdurose88 - United States

Today, is my 21st birthday. I get home after my night out and walk into the garage to see a 2002 Red Corvette convertible. I run up to the car thinking its a gift and there's a note: "Dani this is not your birthday present. Quit drooling on my car. -Dad" Thanks Dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks

58675

You deserved it

13719

Favorite

By LadyLuck - United States

Today, I went to go visit my beloved husband in the hospital. As I went past the nurses station, I heard them talking about the "bastard in Room 303." I went on to visit my husband in room 303. FML

I agree, your life sucks

51818

You deserved it

5352

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By fml - United States

Today, these cute girls approached me and asked me to take a picture of them. One girl asked me if I could send it to her because her phone had died. I was excited to have her number, but it turns out that she deleted the message after she sent the picture to herself. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30101

You deserved it

7501

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By missinformed

Today, Geico called to tell me they were canceling my insurance. Someone I don't know got pulled over for drunk-driving and the police wrote down my license plate number instead by accident. Although the DMV says they cleared everything up, Geico still won't believe it wasn't me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

4611

You deserved it

271

Favorite

By naas1201 - 3/3/2021 02:01

What? Why? How?

Today, a girl told me, "You're so cute, like a monkey." I seriously don't know if it's a compliment or if I'm being insulted. FML

I agree, your life sucks

624

You deserved it

Favorite

By Anonymous

Today, at 3 in the morning, I rolled out of bed in my sleep, landing butt-first into my trash can and scraping my arm on my bedside table. I cleaned up the mess I'd made and tried to stop my arm from bleeding. During which, my dad banged on the door and told me to keep it down. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1449

You deserved it

179

Favorite

By idiotwithaface - United States

Today, I recently graduated from highschool and I went to a college party. I met these girls and told them I graduated college already, to sound cool. I then heard one of them say "I went to middle school with you, and I was in your math class." FML

I agree, your life sucks

7481

You deserved it

61551

Favorite

By Thatguynoonelikes - United States - Mansfield

Today, I was babysitting a couple of kids. I'd spent time with them before, so I brought my video game console to play with them. I forgot to take it home with me. They soon sold it to another kid for $10. FML

I agree, your life sucks

25727

You deserved it

6482

Favorite

By Wilson

Today, I fractured my tibia, fibula, and tore a tendon in my ankle. How? You might ask. By stepping in a hole at soccer practice. Now I’ll be out for the entire season with months of rehab. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2567

You deserved it

192

Favorite

By malicious_melons - United States - Santa Paula

Today, my mother had a full-on hissy fit because of the clothes I was wearing. Not because she thought they were inappropriate, but because I was "stealing her look." FML

I agree, your life sucks

44112

You deserved it

3509

Favorite

Today I saw a picture of my ex giving her new boyfriend an extremely familiar ring. Upon zooming in, I realized that it was the engagement ring i gave her that she claimed to have had stolen from her home... FML

I agree, your life sucks

2653

You deserved it

166

Favorite

By margretlle - United States

Today, I was walking in the kitchen with my parrot on my shoulder and my dog running around. Something freaked out my bird and she bit my ear and started flapping her wings in my face. Surprised, I took a step back, tripped over my dog, fell, hit my head on the stove, and got knocked unconscious. FML

I agree, your life sucks

54649

You deserved it

8376

Favorite

By loser - United States

Today, in front of the entire family, I yelled at my mom and told her she wasn't a good parent. She responded with "Well, at least I had friends when I was your age." FML

I agree, your life sucks

20940

You deserved it

52036

Favorite

By idontevencareanymore - United States - Jarrell

Today, my mom came home drunk and crying, so I tried to comfort her and asked what was wrong. She wasted no time admitting that she'd hooked up with her ex-husband, AKA my dad, but that it'd sucked for her because he has a tiny penis. Thanks, I really needed to know that. FML

I agree, your life sucks

46055

You deserved it

4662

Favorite

By tryingtoberomantic - Australia

Too much of a good thing

Today, I took my boyfriend out to dinner to an expensive restaurant. He overate, and now I have to nurse him through food poisoning. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1330

You deserved it

216

Favorite

By MakeMyDay_27 - United States

Today, my daughter told me that my head is shaped like a kidney bean and that I'm lucky she even talks to me in public. She's 6. FML

I agree, your life sucks

43864

You deserved it

5605

Favorite

By annonymous - China

Today, I had a softball team dinner, and I was sitting with a bunch of girls who were talking about how far they've gone with guys. One girl goes "I must be the least experienced one here, I've never even kissed a guy!" Surprised, I said "me too!" and high-fived her. She was joking. I wasn't. FML

I agree, your life sucks

70401

You deserved it

9817

Favorite

By fmlpanda - United States

Today, I was making out with my boyfriend. It was going well until our braces got caught. Out of pain, I tried to pull away, which made my eyes water. Then I sneezed in his mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks

39777

You deserved it

8336

Favorite

By Zxz - Canada

Today, the power was out. I tried to explain to my boyfriend that he wouldn't be able to watch any TV until the power came back on. His response was, "But we have Netflix." FML

I agree, your life sucks

42154

You deserved it

6239

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I went through the car wash my boyfriend works at. When I pulled in, I explained I was Greg's girlfriend and cutely asked if I could get a free car wash. His co-worker looked at me confused and said "Greg said he didn't have a girlfriend", then he looked at me and said "Now I know why". FML

I agree, your life sucks

50905

You deserved it

12346

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States

Today, it was my one year anniversary with my boyfriend. We had dinner reservations to an expensive restaurant and planned to see a movie after. At least, we did, until he called to tell me he'd volunteered to work tonight. He won't get off until 2am. FML

I agree, your life sucks

26783

You deserved it

3509

Favorite

By ANON - United States - Littleton

Today, I went straight from work to a blind date, and I decided to change in my car at the parking lot. Someone pulled up next to me as I had my ass to the window. It was my date. FML

I agree, your life sucks

19611

You deserved it

8558

Favorite

By Rothaar - United States

Today, I was at the gym and as I was pulling out my earphones and getting off my treadmill, I heard the girl behind me say to her friend on the treadmill next to her, "Wow, there have no cute guys today." Her friend replied, "None at all. It's like everyone suddenly got gay or ugly." FML

I agree, your life sucks

27177

You deserved it

2328

Favorite

By SprinklerDodger - Denmark - Odense

Today, I was woken up by a noise coming from the bathroom. Upon investigation, I discovered my very drunk, giggling girlfriend attempting to urinate standing up. Carefully note the word "attempting". FML

I agree, your life sucks

27595

You deserved it

2386

Favorite

By InconsiderateMuch - Canada - High River

Today, my boyfriend bought another expensive bong to go with the one he bought last month, along with his new phone, airsoft gun, and various other things he's blown our money on this year. He's bought nothing to prepare for our son, though, who's due next month. FML

I agree, your life sucks

51173

You deserved it

27392

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States

Today, my daughter brought her new boyfriend over for dinner. I realize now why she said we would get along great: we graduated high school together. FML

I agree, your life sucks

49711

You deserved it

3627

Favorite

By unloved - United Kingdom

Today, my wife changed her name back to her maiden name. Why? So people would stop asking questions about us. We have been married for 15 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks

32936

You deserved it

2736

Favorite

By hanmart - United States

Today, I found out that my coworker shared a laugh with the boss about setting the office desk on fire (which he actually did), while ten minutes later I was threatened with being fired because I made paper snowflakes and hung a few of them next to the computer. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29343

You deserved it

2617

Favorite

By Anonymous - Pakistan - Lahore

Today, I discovered the source of the vile stench in my room. My daughter had "saved" a bird from our cat and put it in a box under my bed, hoping to nurse it back to health. She forgot about it, leaving the corpse rotting in there for who knows how long. FML

I agree, your life sucks

49630

You deserved it

3426

Favorite

By Foreigner - Jersey

Today, I was having a great time shopping with my gran, until she started complaining about all the foreigners ruining our town, and counting each person who didn't look 100% British. It wouldn't even have been so bad if I wasn't adopted into the family, from Russia. FML

I agree, your life sucks

38595

You deserved it

3052

Favorite

By WishIWasAWriter - United Kingdom

Today, I bought a book by a #1 bestselling author, hoping it would distract me from having my manuscript rejected, as well as learn what made their book so successful. Now I realize I need to say stuff like, "I wish I had great boobs (hehe... boobs)" to get my works published. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27284

You deserved it

3310

Favorite

By HughGorgy - Canada

Today, after sex with my girlfriend, I thought it would be sexy to wear her underwear until we saw each other again. I found a pair in her bathroom, but they definitely weren't her sexy ones. Her mom walked in on me to collect the laundry and screeched "What are you doing with my panties!" FML

I agree, your life sucks

17325

You deserved it

102823

Favorite

By theatreismylife - United States

Today, I was sitting next to the guy I like and he was doing homework. Then, he looks up, his eyes meeting mine. His smooth voice mutters my name as his face inches closer to mine. I can feel his minty breath against my face. My pulse is racing. Then, he says "What's a pronoun?" FML

I agree, your life sucks

61430

You deserved it

12192

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States - Appleton

Today, I told my girlfriend I've been a vegetarian for 6 years. Hearing this, my mom said, "No, you're not. I fry your mushrooms and onions in bacon grease." With this new information, I've been a vegetarian for about 76 hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks

39201

You deserved it

9641

Favorite

By Anonymous - Australia - College Park

Today, I got jumpscared, by my freshly-bathed grandma coming out of the bathroom without a towel on. FML

I agree, your life sucks

19642

You deserved it

1520

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I ordered takeout. When I looked in the bag, I saw they'd included four sets of plastic cutlery. In other words, someone at the restaurant packed my order, then estimated that there must be at least four people eating such a large meal. I was eating alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1239

You deserved it

805

Favorite

By SingleStrongArm - Canada - Oshawa

Today, marks the third week in which my girlfriend has gone without taking a shower. She does this every so often, taking showers roughly once per month. She's convinced baby wipes will "hold her over". FML

I agree, your life sucks

58592

You deserved it

9740

Favorite

By Idiot on the bus

Today, I saw a beautiful girl on the bus. Struck up a good conversation, walked with her all the way to my office. Forgot to ask her name and number. This is the second time I've done this. FML

I agree, your life sucks

4081

You deserved it

1533

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States

Today, my toilet decided it wouldn't take any more shit from me, and flooded the bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks

41694

You deserved it

6507

Favorite

By kylinsmama - 8/3/2020 08:01 - United States

Mixed signals

Today, I got in trouble with my doctor for eating too soon after surgery. Why was I eating? Because the nurses brought me food, which apparently I should've known not to eat. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1676

You deserved it

207

Favorite

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Top comments

By BurnInDemonFire | 30

#7842044 - Monday 9 September 2019 20:06

So is he cheating on you, or is this an unrequited love that he doesn't share, or even know about? Details, lady.

By stormy0307 | 16

#7841926 - Monday 9 September 2019 14:02

Was he aware you’ve loved him this last year?

COMMENTS

By stormy0307 | 16

#7841926 - Monday 9 September 2019 14:02

Was he aware you’ve loved him this last year?

By RichardPencil | 29

#7841970 - Monday 9 September 2019 16:40

Stranger danger!

FYI: you're the stranger.

By ElVicioTPD | 3

#7842032 - Monday 9 September 2019 19:44

so.... what's the plan? Because i assume you ARE gonna screw him over somehow, won't 'cha?

By BurnInDemonFire | 30

#7842044 - Monday 9 September 2019 20:06

So is he cheating on you, or is this an unrequited love that he doesn't share, or even know about? Details, lady.

By Morgan Kwn | 19

#7842127 - Monday 9 September 2019 23:44

Perfect definition of a douche. Sorry OP. I know you’ve probably heard/read this already but you’re better off without him. All the best for the future

BurnInDemonFire | 30

#7842309 - Tuesday 10 September 2019 15:02

You don't know that. OP only says she loves him, and she means nothing to him. There is no way you can infer that he's a douche until she specifically says he's cheating on her. Dude could have seen OP as a friend, or merely someone he vaguely knows exists, and is living his life separate from hers because she hasn't told him how she feels, or he could just not be into her.

By 831curmudgeon | 7

#7842338 - Tuesday 10 September 2019 16:15

Took you a year to realize?