Today, my doctor told me to buy some KY Jelly and a dildo to help "loosen me up" so sex isn't so painful. I haven't been able to have sex for 6 months because it hurts so badly, and now my doctor has basically told me to go fuck myself. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I had surgery on my "girl parts" and can't have sex for six weeks. My boyfriend sees no need to spend any time with me until I heal up. FML
Today, I realized how much I hate my girlfriend, when I got excited as the doctor told me I should refrain from having sex for the next two months. FML
Today, I woke up with a sore clitoris. I haven't had sex with my boyfriend for weeks, but I did masturbate yesterday. I guess I can't get horny without feeling pain afterwards. FML
Today, I had sex for the first time in two years. With a man I love, who is handsome, very nicely equipped, and quite good at it. I was in pain the entire time. It took me 3 tries to realize there is something physically wrong with me, and once I get it fixed, he'll be gone. FML
Today, my gynecologist was having trouble with my exam due to me being "too tight." I'm 24. After the explanation of having been pretty inactive in over a year, she exclaimed, "Damn, girl, we really need to find you a boyfriend!" Yeah, tell me about it. FML
Today, my wife, who NEVER wants to have sex, decided that now is the time. I, of course, had to take antibiotics that make me so bloated I can’t move without extreme pain. FML
Today, my boyfriend is pushing for sex even though I’ve just had spinal surgery, his reasoning being I only have to lie there, so it’s not like he’s asking me to move or actively participate. He basically wants me to ignore my pain and become a masturbation toy. FML
Today, my wife yelled at me to "just stick it up her ass already." No, not for anal sex, it was a suppository she got from the doctor. This is the closest I’ve been to sex in two years, since she decided we were done having sex and won’t even explain why when I ask. We’re only in our 30s. FML
Today, I'm 8 months pregnant with a horribly sore back and an insensitive husband. I'm so desperate for relief that I'm lying on the couch, using my vibrator to give myself a back massage. FML
Today, I spent the evening with my new wife at the doctor’s because she thought she had a UTI. The doctor sent the nurse to talk to us because he was too embarrassed to tell us that we just needed to use more lube. FML
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Top comments
TheB0a 5
You should get a second opinion might be something else other than you being not loose.
perdix 31
If I were your doctor, I'd tell you just to stick to oral and anal. Let me know if your national health care system up there covers physician-prescribed ******.
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Comments (86)
MarLa17 0
Now that's something to cry about!
stephanie911_fml 0
I live in Kentucky, and I don't see why they call it Kentucky Jelly: P
Barbarossa_fml 0
Cause its used on so many animals there
WaylonD 4
I bet your boyfriends happy if that shit is that tight!
rebwonders 0
Do you need any help? Practice makes perfect and that's why FYL!!!! LIB
Absocold 0
Lol, #15 has a small dick.
rebwonders 0
she can't see because she's facing forward. Ding Dong entries in the rear!
mulmanic 0
no need for toys; any rapist will solve your problems. just make sure the rapist isn't a therapist.
babe7260 30
What the **** is wrong with you?????
califbob 3
Not only did he/she give you that advice, but your doctor is also sending you a bill. and they say the Health Care system is broken!?!
mysticwater 0
we don't get a bill in Canada. visits are covered by Medicare if you have a PHN
Donnie69 0
hahahhaah sucks to be you... maybe you just gotta get streched out if ya know what I mean ;)
FYLminerocks 7
YDI for not having sex for so long that you closed up.