Feelin' sexy

By Anonymous - 23/05/2020 20:00

Today, my wife, who NEVER wants to have sex, decided that now is the time. I, of course, had to take antibiotics that make me so bloated I can’t move without extreme pain. FML

agreeclassic 1 680

vote type 1 161

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Bad timing, hun

By Anonymous - 19/01/2023 22:00

Today, I just had surgery and my wife finally wants to have sex. Not that there haven't been enough other days in the previous years of marriage… FML

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By B - 04/02/2012 01:17 - United States

Today, my wife screamed at me, calling me a "useless, ungrateful piece of crap", all because I wouldn't have sex with her, despite hours of her nagging. I said no because I've been laid-up in bed for the past week waiting on surgery for an excruciatingly painful hernia. FML

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Girl, DIY

By Anonymous - 23/06/2023 03:00

Today, my wife yelled at me to "just stick it up her ass already." No, not for anal sex, it was a suppository she got from the doctor. This is the closest I’ve been to sex in two years, since she decided we were done having sex and won’t even explain why when I ask. We’re only in our 30s. FML

agreeclassic 1 221

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By Anonymous - 09/01/2014 19:02 - United States - Converse

Today, like every day since my wife was prescribed antibiotics for an infection, I had to hide one of the pills inside her food, because she'd apparently rather fall seriously ill than swallow them like an adult. FML

agreeclassic 46 801

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Take care

By Anonymous - 16/12/2020 08:02

Today, after close to 10 years of marriage, my wife’s health has improved enough she is craving sex again. Just not with me. FML

agreeclassic 1 599

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Ouchie

By Anonymous - 17/12/2014 20:09 - United States

Today, I felt a horrible pain while having sex with my wife, and I had to stop. I thought it was a hernia or something, but she called me a liar and accused me of everything from not finding her attractive, to me cheating on her. It turned out I had appendicitis. She still won't apologize. FML

agreeclassic 44 698

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By Anonymous - 24/04/2016 12:46 - Switzerland - Chur

Today, my wife is treating me like I'm the devil, all because I refused to go on medication that would kill my sex drive, just so she wouldn't have to deal with me actually wanting to make love more than once a year. FML

agreeclassic 24 400

vote type 1 2 135

Sore

By Anonymous - 18/07/2020 20:01

Today, a few hours after me and my husband had sex, he mumbled, "This is why I hate sex," as he left to grab some Tylenol. Apparently, he's so out of shape that basic sex made his muscles too sore to sleep. This is the first time in two weeks we've had sex. I'm always the one that has to ask for it. FML

agreeclassic 3 318

vote type 1 346

Mystery shutdown

By Anonymous - 29/12/2024 19:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my wife always told me she loved sex too much to ever give it up. I don’t know what’s happened recently but she’s now angry for no reason, bitter at the world, makes me suffer just for existing, and yes, she’s cancelled all intimacy and sex for the foreseeable future. FML

agreeclassic 509

vote type 1 168

By hjkashld - 24/04/2012 01:48 - United States

Today, I faked back pain to get out of sex with my wife. FML

agreeclassic 13 550

vote type 1 36 535

ahabsfan 15

Saturday 23 May 2020 20:19

NEVER wants to have sex or NEVER wants to have sex with YOU?

Cody Vertigo Bonthoux 15

Sunday 24 May 2020 0:35

classic case of Murphy's law

Comments

ahabsfan 15

Saturday 23 May 2020 20:19

NEVER wants to have sex or NEVER wants to have sex with YOU?

DogStew 20

Saturday 23 May 2020 21:45

She must find the bloated-ness sexy.

Cody Vertigo Bonthoux 15

Sunday 24 May 2020 0:35

classic case of Murphy's law

Jennifer Cunningham 4

Sunday 24 May 2020 20:05

coincidence? I think not!

xxWTFxx1981 23

Monday 6 March 2023 20:11

She didn't want sex she just realized she could get points without having to perform. check and mate

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Today, I was not yet wearing my bouncer uniform when a fight broke out at a club. I intervened, only to have the cops who showed up tase me because they thought I was part of it. FML

agreeclassic 27 607

vote type 1 4 675

Today, after my girlfriend warned me she has the condition hypersexuality and like a fool I thought I’d landed on my feet, or on my back as it were, do you have any idea how bad sex is when you have it between 5 and 10 times a day for over a year? It’s basically a chore at this point. FML

agreeclassic 2 028

vote type 1 734

Today, I tried to pull the old "bucket of water above the door" prank on my brother, but the bucket didn't fall when he opened the door. He noticed it, took it down, then pinned me to the floor and waterboarded me with the ice-cold water. FML

agreeclassic 17 968

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Today, my boxing trainer texted me, "You don't know shit about boxing" then blocked me on Instagram, all because I said Tyson Fury vs. Dillian Whyte was a trash, lackluster fight on my story. This is the same trainer who said I have good boxing skills and show potential. Sorry for my opinion I guess? FML

agreeclassic 799

vote type 1 166

Today, I was messing around on my laptop by drawing on the screen with a marker pen. When it came time to clean it off, it wouldn't budge. Now I have a full beard and mustache etched permanently on my computer screen. FML

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Today, my mother suffered a stroke and had to be hospitalized. In order to drive him to the hospital, I actually had to find my father, who never answers any phone calls or messages and is rarely home. I found out on the spot that he was cheating on my mother. What an asshole. FML

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