Today, my doctor told me to buy some KY Jelly and a dildo to help "loosen me up" so sex isn't so painful. I haven't been able to have sex for 6 months because it hurts so badly, and now my doctor has basically told me to go fuck myself. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Same thing different taste
Today, I had surgery on my "girl parts" and can't have sex for six weeks. My boyfriend sees no need to spend any time with me until I heal up. FML
Scary
Today, I realized how much I hate my girlfriend, when I got excited as the doctor told me I should refrain from having sex for the next two months. FML
No pain, no gain
Today, I woke up with a sore clitoris. I haven't had sex with my boyfriend for weeks, but I did masturbate yesterday. I guess I can't get horny without feeling pain afterwards. FML
Bad sex
Today, I had sex for the first time in two years. With a man I love, who is handsome, very nicely equipped, and quite good at it. I was in pain the entire time. It took me 3 tries to realize there is something physically wrong with me, and once I get it fixed, he'll be gone. FML
Today, my gynecologist was having trouble with my exam due to me being "too tight." I'm 24. After the explanation of having been pretty inactive in over a year, she exclaimed, "Damn, girl, we really need to find you a boyfriend!" Yeah, tell me about it. FML
Feelin' sexy
Today, my wife, who NEVER wants to have sex, decided that now is the time. I, of course, had to take antibiotics that make me so bloated I can’t move without extreme pain. FML
Kick the tragedy
Today, my boyfriend is pushing for sex even though I’ve just had spinal surgery, his reasoning being I only have to lie there, so it’s not like he’s asking me to move or actively participate. He basically wants me to ignore my pain and become a masturbation toy. FML
Girl, DIY
Today, my wife yelled at me to "just stick it up her ass already." No, not for anal sex, it was a suppository she got from the doctor. This is the closest I’ve been to sex in two years, since she decided we were done having sex and won’t even explain why when I ask. We’re only in our 30s. FML
Today, I'm 8 months pregnant with a horribly sore back and an insensitive husband. I'm so desperate for relief that I'm lying on the couch, using my vibrator to give myself a back massage. FML
Too dry
Today, I spent the evening with my new wife at the doctor’s because she thought she had a UTI. The doctor sent the nurse to talk to us because he was too embarrassed to tell us that we just needed to use more lube. FML
Top comments
TheB0a 5
You should get a second opinion might be something else other than you being not loose.
perdix 31
If I were your doctor, I'd tell you just to stick to oral and anal. Let me know if your national health care system up there covers physician-prescribed ******.
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Comments (86)
patiencek 0
haha sorry Op but this made me laugh.
Inspired22 11
I don't know, I think giving it a try won't hurt. It's better to try it with yourself than someone else. Well, at least less awkward. The worst that will happen is that it won't work. Then, you can get a different opinion. But it isn't uncommon for women to get tight after not having had sex for a while. I would try not to freak out about it too much, because the more you freak out, the more you tense up, and the tighter you get the more you tense up. Just take it one step at a time! You'll be all right. :-)
dt520 4
i'm gonna take a shot in the dark and assume half the chicks reading this want to hit you. put in some work so sex can be fun for you, i don't see the FML here.
mysticwater 0
why do we want to hit her? cause she can't get laid unless she wants to experience pain? unless S and M is her thing~ I still don't see your point?
PEHDEL 0
you loosen her up. duh.
a_ford915 0
vulvular vestibulitis. google it. might get you some answers
ulicksam 0
Some people have to twist everything so they can bitch about it.
mysticwater 0
I think she has a right to bitch about painful sex. that sucks D:
purplesucker 0
We are totally in the same boat hun. What your doctor suggested is a good start, to help you get used to relaxing but it won't help on its own. Despite popular belief, the ****** does not constantly loosen up the more you have sex, it will always go back to its normal size. (Face it, if it did just keep loosening up, then theoretically a baby could eventually just slide right out without you feeling a thing. And while the thought of going through natural labour with no drugs and no pain would be nice, the thought of harming a baby is not pleasant at all.) And non-virgins can be just as tight as virgins, contrary to popular belief. What you should do as well as what your doctor suggested is kegel exercises. I'm going to guess that you've heard of that exercise where when you're peeing, you squeeze it up, then let it go, then squeeze it up, then let it go, and so on. That's one way of doing kegel exercises, but in order for it to work, you need to do more. You can start by doing it while you're peeing, but you have to squeeze it up, hold it for five full seconds, then let it go, then squeeze it up again for five full seconds, then let it go, and so on, ten times. You have to do this exercise three times a day, but you don't only do it while you're peeing. You squeeze and hold while you're standing (same thing, squeeze for five seconds, then let go, ten times), and also lying down. The only reason I say to start the exercises while you're peeing is so that you can feel which muscles you're supposed to be working, and you do the exact same thing for when you're not peeing. Just imagine that you're either trying to hold in your pee, or trying to hold in a fart, it works the same muscles. Kegel exercises DO NOT loosen you up! What they do is they make it so that your muscles don't spasm as easily, which makes it easier for you to relax. Cuz that's most likely why you're feeling pain during sex even though you're not a virgin, is because you're muscles spasm very easil, which makes it hard for you to relax. (No I am not an expert. I just have that same problem, and then I came across a magazine article where all that was explained to me. HOORAY FOR GLAMOUR MAGAZINE!!!)
ScOrPiOnloool 6
no ***** finger is enough !
archzinno 0
don't be such a pride next time.
aetrcsom_fml_fml 0
your boyfriend is right. There are plenty couples who can't have sex without lube. The ***** might help to get your juices flowing as well but good lube should be enough. if all else fails just leave him for a guy with a smaller penis.