Today, my daughter and I were driving home when our truck broke down. A police officer stopped and offered to let me and my two year old sit in his car for the A/C. When we got in, I sat her on my lap, and she pulled down my tank top and screamed "Boobies!" right in front of the officer. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Same thing different taste
Assumptions
Today, I picked up my 17 year-old daughter after a late night movie in down town and got pulled over by a cop. He questioned us for a solicitation. I told the cop that she was my daughter but he said, "So, you're the daddy?" and laughed. Good to know that my daughter looks like a hoe and me a perv. FML
Today, I pulled over a speeding driver. I admit that I'd been hoping for this moment since I joined the police force; the moment a lady put her cleavage on display to get out of a ticket. Sadly, this lady was a senior citizen, and her breasts looked like two semi-deflated balloons. FML
Today, I was driving on the motorway when a cop car made me stop. It was a routine check and when they said "Have you been drinking?" of course I said no. To that, my 6 year old sitting in the back screamed "Yes she did! She's lying I saw her drink!" I had drunk a milkshake. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were fooling around in his car when things got hot and heavy and we decided to climb in the back. After we finished we started to put our clothes back just as a someone's brights flooded into the car. It was a cop, and he had been there the entire time. FML
Today, I let my son drive us home. After just 10 feet, he crashed into a parked cop car. It was my squad car. FML
Today, I took my two-year-old daughter swimming. While sitting in the hot tub, my daughter pointed to the elderly man sitting across from us and mumbled something. I couldn't understand her, so I asked her to repeat it. After two more attempts, she shouted, "MOM! He has big boobs!" FML
Today, I was driving when a guy in a truck swerved in front of me. I didn't realize I'd sworn until I'd come to a red light and my one year old daughter yelled her own version of what I said. She now yells "Chicken in the hole!" whenever the car comes to a stop. FML
Stalking
Today, I saw my dad driving our red Dakota, and I thought it would be funny to tail him around town. It wasn't until I saw cop lights flashing in my rear-view mirror that I remembered that we'd given away our red truck. I'd scared an old lady so badly that she called the police. FML
Summer's here and the time is right…
Today, I was on my way to work and wearing a tank top when I suddenly walked through 10 feet of sprinklers and got completely soaked. A cop flagged me down in front of a bunch of people, because apparently I matched the description of a "suspect". He stared at my boobs the entire time. FML
Road hazard
Today, while driving home, I looked in the rear-view mirror and saw that my three-year-old daughter had managed to get out of her seat and had crawled to the back window. I pulled over and strapped her in again. Five minutes later she was back at the window. FML
Top comments
flashback.miss 28
awww, but that's how little kids are; full of curiosity and I'm sure the officer laughed and was understanding. this is cute in an awkward kind of way. save this memory to embarrass her later. XD
nattynatters 14
As embarrassing as that is I bet he's seen way worse. Have you ever seen Cops?
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Comments (72)
AshesNicole623 17
I have a nursing baby and a 3-year-old. My toddler likes to tell people all about my "magic bras" (they snap down) and tries to poke other women's "boobies". You just can't take kids anywhere haha.
Chumbowamba 10
Damn.. your child is awesome, and who can say no to boobies lol
WhiteCrimson 23
Kids are rule until about 2! Then they become gym instructors! Make you run your ass off to catch them before they can cause trouble
Just1SarahKay 11
lmao well isn't that funny?! Not such a bad story really...You should be proud of your smart kid, obviously she knows already that she can get out of a ticket with a little boobage!
joshuarowe88 5
Children these days....
sduval33 5
My son (18 months) has done that in a grocery store. Apparently his brother agreed since they both decided it was time for a snack....
JoseIsAdork 31
sorry op but it is rather funny although I can imagine quite embarrassing for you. I'm sure the officer at least had a good chuckle from it after, if they have kids themselves I'm sure they understand.
sergei_yusef 11
I honestly have no idea what would make her think of doing that
museerux01 10
Well we're you wearing a bra or no???
sureshadow 23
Kids are little devil spawns