Today, my dad's work phone went off, and I thought I should go tell him since he's on call. Turns out no matter how you do it, a 47 year old man at one in the morning will think you are a burglar trying to attack him. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, my dad's boss called our house and I answered. He said, "Is your dad home?" I replied, "I'll go check." I put the phone on mute and asked my dad if he wanted to talk to his boss. My dad says, "Does that asshole not have a life?" Turns out the phone wasn't on mute, it was on speaker. FML
Today, I was playing with my phone after midnight, and I kept getting calls from a withheld number. The guy just breathed heavily and wouldn't speak. When the third call came, I asked, "Who the hell are you?" The call ended, and my dad yelled from outside my door, "ME! Now go to sleep!" FML
Today, I was in a store parking lot when I got a text from an unknown number saying, "I see you, I know what you did last summer, you wicked little shit." I freaked out and looked around in a panic. It turns out that it was my "hilarious" dad testing his new phone from across the parking lot. FML
Today, I received a message from front desk that my concerned father is trying to contact me. I call only to hear that my parents were freaking out that I wasn't answering my phone. They saw me 9 hours ago. They were going to call the police. I'm in college and also don't live with them anymore. FML
Today, my dad got a new phone and put me on speed dial. I have received several voice mails from him accidentally dialed. They are from him riding the train, in a meeting, having lunch, and, most recently, him taking a monstrous dump. FML
Today, my dad let me use his phone. Five minutes later, he had my mom call it because he thought he'd lost it. FML
Today, I found out that my parents changed the code on our alarm system while they were out of town. The police could not verify I was their son, despite spending hours trying to get hold of them. They thought it was just another telemarketer. FML
Today, I told my dad I couldn't make the trip to see him this weekend because I had to work. I surprised him by driving ten hours, and while he was out, I let myself in with my key and hid behind the couch for when he came in. He walked in. I jumped out. I then had to call 911. FML
Today, I found out that, if timed just right, the alarm function on my phone can be disabled by a text message. And my dad has an impeccable sense of timing. I was 20 minutes late for work. FML
Today, I got a knock on my door at 3 a.m. Turns out, if I ignore my mother long enough, she will assume I have died and will call the cops. FML
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Top comments
AsianCookie247 14
damn haha I feel bad for your father, I hate being woken up.
DocBastard 40
It was his work phone and he was on call. Perhaps he works for the electric company and there was a major power outage that needed to be fixed. Perhaps he's a doctor and needed to go save someone's life. Are those not good enough ******* reasons to wake him up for one ******* cool? Maybe try reading the entire FML before commenting.
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Comments (67)
Jamieleerichter 0
Not necessarily. My brother in law is a maintenance man at an apt complex and he has a work phone where he goes to call during emergencies (like the OPs father) so doesn't mean he is a doctor or police. he could be any profession.
Kiloueka 3
No that's just a Texas thing
slightlypyro1996 4
No, most Texans actually don't ride horses... Though we do have more guns than any other state (used to anyway). Don't mess with Texas.
ayshren 0
lmao I know exactly how you feel, my dad was the same way!
sirguy 1
so true!!!
Miss_Random 0
Ha! When I was 13 I thought it would be funny to scare my dad when he came out of his bedroom after getting ready for work. It was really early in the morning and still quite dark out. When he came out, I jumped at him yelling "BOO!". I sure scared him. I also ened up in a head-lock and almost punched in the face! I still laughed though.
diva_lulu 0
wow that's suckish
dubstepp 15
Ha-ha, my dad would probably flip out too if I was waking him at a weird time too!!! My parents always look like they've seen a ghost because I walk around so quietly and start talking and freaking me out.
shootintacos 0
least he isn't a war vet, woulda ripped your throat out.
KRS_13 0
..so what happened to your father for not going to work? you said he was on call...