Health: Today, my dad put an onion in my room, telling me spirits won't... - FML

By duhasiangirl - 15/11/2012 00:48 - Canada - Cambridge

Today, my dad put an onion in my room, telling me spirits won't haunt me and that I won't get sick. He thinks a vegetable will protect me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 307

You deserved it 2 743

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Same thing different taste

By ugh - 04/07/2016 17:26 - United States - Milford

Today, my dad had a midlife crisis in the grocery store over his football career in high school. So he decided pelting me with vegetables and fruits would be a good idea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 432

You deserved it 1 116

Spooky!

By Anonymous - 16/01/2015 16:22 - Australia - Sydney

Today, my dad was fixing my wardrobe and pushed too hard, causing stuff to fall from the top shelves. I saw it happen with my own eyes, but he's dead-set convinced that it was some kind of poltergeist fucking with him, and now he doesn't want me to go in my room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 060

You deserved it 2 354

By Anonymous - 22/03/2014 23:07 - United States - Auberry

Today, my dad decided to shave his beard. I told him I wanted him to keep it, so he took the shavings, put them in a jar, and left it in my room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 712

You deserved it 13 245

By sick of this shit - 12/03/2016 13:33 - United States - West Grove

Today, my dad opened my fridge, let rip a horrible fart into it, then closed it and said "There ya go, a little somethin' for supper." FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 942

You deserved it 1 748

By Anonymous - 21/06/2012 14:52 - United States - Medway

Today, when I told my family I was a vegetarian, I expected them to make fun of me because that's just my family. But what I wasn't expecting was my dad to use raw meat as a puppet and make it say, "Eat me! Eat me!" then throw it at my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 252

You deserved it 7 798

By frogdog563 - 01/09/2019 14:00

Today, my little sister asked what the noises were last night. It happened to be my dad and his girlfriend fooling around. I ended up telling her it was ghosts. Now I'm grounded by my dad who yelled at me for scaring her. I was trying to save his ass from a lot of questions. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 788

You deserved it 360

Cheapskate

By Anonymous - 08/12/2021 05:01

Today, I asked my sister why she doesn’t visit our dad in hospital anymore. He’s been in a coma for months, but what she said was just nasty. Apparently, if she wanted to talk to a vegetable, she’d yell into the fridge once a week, at least it would save her the long bus ride. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 462

You deserved it 184

By Noname - 16/01/2009 20:43 - United States

Today, my boyfriend told me I smell like vegetables. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 622

You deserved it 6 658

By StillBetterThanTwilight - 28/08/2012 15:56 - United States - Minneapolis

Today, my boyfriend told me that he had once been possessed by demons, and that he now sleeps with a knife under his pillow for protection from, "The dark spirits that are feasting upon his soul." I'm not sure that I'll be sleeping over anytime soon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 580

You deserved it 2 600

Hot Hot Hot

By Cliff - 13/02/2022 16:00

Today, I nearly burnt a hole in my esophagus because I couldn’t stand my dad’s taunts about me not being able to stomach ghost pepper hot sauce. Irony is a cruel bitch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 255

You deserved it 1 093

Next

Top comments

secretsymbiote21 5

Thursday 15 November 2012 8:43

onions make them cry. your dad is a smart man.

chelseaaababyyy 17

Thursday 15 November 2012 8:44

Well, if you were a spirit, would you like to haunt a smelly room? I think not.

Comments

mosquito19 14

Friday 16 November 2012 3:42

it will if you smell like onions

Racky_fml 14

Friday 16 November 2012 3:51

Should've used broccoli

winkydog4056 16

Friday 16 November 2012 4:33

It just occurred to me.....Larry Boy will save you! Duh!

igivunightmars 3

Friday 16 November 2012 4:52

U prob. Dont bad B. O. Which seems to keep every thing away. The good and the bad.

igivunightmars 3

Friday 16 November 2012 5:00

*u probably dont got bad body oder. Which seems to keep everything away. The good and the bad. So ur dad must know a thing or two bout STANK!!!

kwyk 23

Friday 16 November 2012 5:29

Your dad thinks vegetables will stop you getting sick? He's got half the concept right. Not sure about the spirits on the other hand...

fallenangel72 7

Friday 16 November 2012 5:38

Aw that's sweet

imperialtl 12

Friday 16 November 2012 6:26

Isn't this some Asian/chinese custom?

DoubleBlumpkin 4

Friday 16 November 2012 11:55

Despite the down votes I recieved if anyone would do their own research and not believe the chain letter email they recieved you would see that the onion nonsense is false. They don't capture bacteria or viruses, viruses require an external source to even transfer, it won't just soak into an onion via the air. Trust me I have a PhD in onions.

cougar41 8

Friday 16 November 2012 13:01

Actually onions were used in the times of Black Plague to absorbs the virus n protect u onions absorbe bacterial that are air born n stop u getting sick. Put an onion with the top cut of on a cup or small bowl and check it in. Few days. It will be rotten with virus. ( do it when ur sick ) you will get better faster

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