Health: Today, my dad put an onion in my room, telling me spirits won't... - FML

By duhasiangirl - 15/11/2012 00:48 - Canada - Cambridge

Today, my dad put an onion in my room, telling me spirits won't haunt me and that I won't get sick. He thinks a vegetable will protect me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 307

You deserved it 2 743

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Same thing different taste

By ugh - 04/07/2016 17:26 - United States - Milford

Today, my dad had a midlife crisis in the grocery store over his football career in high school. So he decided pelting me with vegetables and fruits would be a good idea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 432

You deserved it 1 116

Spooky!

By Anonymous - 16/01/2015 16:22 - Australia - Sydney

Today, my dad was fixing my wardrobe and pushed too hard, causing stuff to fall from the top shelves. I saw it happen with my own eyes, but he's dead-set convinced that it was some kind of poltergeist fucking with him, and now he doesn't want me to go in my room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 060

You deserved it 2 354

By Anonymous - 22/03/2014 23:07 - United States - Auberry

Today, my dad decided to shave his beard. I told him I wanted him to keep it, so he took the shavings, put them in a jar, and left it in my room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 712

You deserved it 13 245

By sick of this shit - 12/03/2016 13:33 - United States - West Grove

Today, my dad opened my fridge, let rip a horrible fart into it, then closed it and said "There ya go, a little somethin' for supper." FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 942

You deserved it 1 748

By Anonymous - 21/06/2012 14:52 - United States - Medway

Today, when I told my family I was a vegetarian, I expected them to make fun of me because that's just my family. But what I wasn't expecting was my dad to use raw meat as a puppet and make it say, "Eat me! Eat me!" then throw it at my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 252

You deserved it 7 798

By frogdog563 - 01/09/2019 14:00

Today, my little sister asked what the noises were last night. It happened to be my dad and his girlfriend fooling around. I ended up telling her it was ghosts. Now I'm grounded by my dad who yelled at me for scaring her. I was trying to save his ass from a lot of questions. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 788

You deserved it 360

Cheapskate

By Anonymous - 08/12/2021 05:01

Today, I asked my sister why she doesn’t visit our dad in hospital anymore. He’s been in a coma for months, but what she said was just nasty. Apparently, if she wanted to talk to a vegetable, she’d yell into the fridge once a week, at least it would save her the long bus ride. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 462

You deserved it 184

By Noname - 16/01/2009 20:43 - United States

Today, my boyfriend told me I smell like vegetables. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 622

You deserved it 6 658

By StillBetterThanTwilight - 28/08/2012 15:56 - United States - Minneapolis

Today, my boyfriend told me that he had once been possessed by demons, and that he now sleeps with a knife under his pillow for protection from, "The dark spirits that are feasting upon his soul." I'm not sure that I'll be sleeping over anytime soon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 580

You deserved it 2 600

Hot Hot Hot

By Cliff - 13/02/2022 16:00

Today, I nearly burnt a hole in my esophagus because I couldn’t stand my dad’s taunts about me not being able to stomach ghost pepper hot sauce. Irony is a cruel bitch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 255

You deserved it 1 093

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Top comments

secretsymbiote21 5

Thursday 15 November 2012 8:43

onions make them cry. your dad is a smart man.

chelseaaababyyy 17

Thursday 15 November 2012 8:44

Well, if you were a spirit, would you like to haunt a smelly room? I think not.

Comments

Why_Not31 12

Monday 24 December 2012 3:53

My Mom used to hang wind chimes in front of every window to ward off evil spirits. I didn't mind that, but she also used to chant weird stuff and sprinkle herbs that made me sneeze everywhere. I stopped complaining after she hung a charm over the door of the bathroom connected to the bedroom I shared with my sister. From that night onwards, the weird noises and awful smells that used to come from under the door stopped. I don't know if it was just coincidence, but I was a lot less skeptical when my Mom did all of the little odd things she did.

notmanynamesleft 4

Tuesday 15 January 2013 4:52

Onions are supposed to ward of spirits in some Japanese traditions

hoshimi2012 8

Wednesday 23 January 2013 1:27

Onions are supposed to help you from getting sick if you cut it open. I read an article about it. The onion traps bacteria that can cause you to become sick.

mollyjynxjax 28

Monday 3 June 2013 10:06

Actually, they do absorb bacteria very well. So it actually CAN help keep you from getting sick

FacelessKun 7

Friday 3 January 2014 2:20

Is your father also green and ogre-ish?

thatonebach 9

Saturday 21 June 2014 6:31

No but Jesus might

MzGremlin1002 0

Wednesday 15 April 2015 4:32

Stupid as it sounds onions can pull germs out and you won't get sick as much

mixedsubstances 13

Wednesday 3 June 2015 3:10

in theory vegetables could in some ways keep you from getting sick tho...

pheonixfire13 17

Friday 5 June 2015 8:09

He's half right onions keep u from getting sick but garlic keeps away spirits

Diarrhea_Volcano 29

Monday 8 June 2015 10:59

Shrek is love, Shrek is life.

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