Today, I nearly burnt a hole in my esophagus because I couldn’t stand my dad’s taunts about me not being able to stomach ghost pepper hot sauce. Irony is a cruel bitch. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my father tricked me into eating a Tasmanian habanero, saying it was just another pepper. The burning in my mouth was unbearable, but nothing compared to when I took a shit later in the day. FML
Today, I had some soup that my dad made. I took one sip and found he had put tons of hot sauce in it. I rushed to drink from a soda can sitting on the counter, only to find that my mom had used it as an ash tray the night before. I can still taste the hot sauce, and the ash. FML
Today, I confidently told my friends I had a high spice tolerance and took a shot of insanely hot ghost pepper sauce. I immediately hiccuped, tears started streaming down my cheeks, and I coughed so hard I fell off my chair and knocked stuff off of the table. We were in a restaurant. FML
Today, I have an awful stomach virus. I can only drink liquids and can't eat anything solid, especially anything spicy. My dad forced me to eat the fajitas he'd made for dinner and screamed at me when I told him I couldn't, then screamed at me again for "wasting food" when I predictably threw up all over the floor. FML
Today, I have an excruciatingly sore throat due to chronic canker sores around my uvula. Every bite of food I swallow brings tears to my eyes. I had enough of dad calling me a wimp at dinner over it and shoved my food onto his plate. He's now faking allergies to food we've had for years, just to take the piss out of me. FML
Today, I popped something straight out of the oven into my mouth. It burned my tongue instantly, but instead of spitting it out, I swallowed. I felt it burning all the way down. Now I can’t eat solid food or drink hot drinks. FML
Today, I got guilt-tripped into going to eat with my parents and sister. My sister bit into a spicy pepper instead of a mild one, and thought the perfect response would be to shriek, moan, cry, and throw herself to the floor gagging. No she’s not allergic, she’s just a drama queen fishing for a free meal. FML
Today, as a big fan of spicy food and a huge challenge seeker, I decided to try the hottest burger I could order. Despite being warned by a waitress, I went for it. After eating a third, I had trouble breathing from the spiciness. The waitress was smirking. FML
Today, tired of my roommate’s constant stealing of my food, I decided to get back at him by hiding a small amount of hot sauce in his sandwich, thinking it would be a funny prank. When he took a huge bite, he immediately started choking and running to the bathroom. I later found out he's allergic to spicy food. FML
Today, my vegetarian girlfriend put some ghost pepper hot sauce on my steak to teach me a "lesson" about eating meat. FML
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Top comments
RichardPencil 32
That's not irony. It's the opposite. What your dad expected to happen did happen. You're stupid for letting your macho bullshit pride force you to do something you couldn't handle.
mike3775 39
So if I ask your dad to taunt you to jump off the Sears Tower in Chicago, you’ll do it?
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Comments (7)
RichardPencil 32
That's not irony. It's the opposite. What your dad expected to happen did happen. You're stupid for letting your macho bullshit pride force you to do something you couldn't handle.
mike3775 39
So if I ask your dad to taunt you to jump off the Sears Tower in Chicago, you’ll do it?
RichardPencil 32
It doesn't exist anymore.
bobsanction 18
The building is still there, it's just a different name now.
mike3775 39
I know it has a new name, but it will always be called the Sears Tower by me. I hate the new name.
Chazzster 32
The only irony is that a weak willed person was taunted into doing something that made them suffer to supposedly prove they were strong, but it only showed they were easily manipulated. Only the very young and the weak willed will do something against their own best interests because they were “dared”. It takes strength of character to ignore such obvious manipulation. Hopefully OP learned something about ignoring that kind of manipulation. I get it that what family and close friends say and think is important to most of us - That’s why Dad’s taunts worked. It requires maturity to know things like this for what they are - manipulation. If you don’t want to be a puppet with someone else controlling your actions you have to learn when to just walk away and ignore the taunts and “dares”.
dragonladiesfire 19
Turns out he was right.
metroido 21
it doesn’t make you weak if it’s your *body’s* fault. if it burnt a hole in your esophagus and you didn’t cry, you’re pretty damn strong.
1known 34
It was stupid to taste that sauce if you are not used to very hot sauces, but it was equally stupid to make you try it!
SamanthaThe1st 23
You have nothing to prove to him. Have some resolve.