Miscellaneous: Today, my dad opened my fridge, let rip a horrible fart into... - FML

By sick of this shit - 12/03/2016 13:33 - United States - West Grove

Today, my dad opened my fridge, let rip a horrible fart into it, then closed it and said "There ya go, a little somethin' for supper." FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 952

You deserved it 1 753

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 18/01/2011 08:28 - United States

Today, I was at the grocery store with my dad. He let out a very silent but foul abomination of a fart. The people behind us started gagging, so he turned, pointed at me and said, "That was my daughter." FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 167

You deserved it 3 833

By squirts - 27/11/2013 04:42

Today, I arrived home after leaving for college in August. My dad figured that the most appropriate way to welcome me back was a loud, piercing fart right when I walked through the front door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 215

You deserved it 5 334

By Anonymous - 08/08/2015 05:18 - Canada

Today, I witnessed my dad wake himself from a nap with his own fart and start panicking in confusion. I guess I shouldn't have broken down laughing, because he demanded to know what I did to him. He didn't believe the truth and bitched me out for screwing around. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 554

You deserved it 2 159

Believe her next time

By KICKxASSxNINJA - 26/09/2020 08:02 - United States - Fresno

Today, my mother bolted into my room and let out a huge fart that smelled like rotten meat because she wanted to prove a point, that she had been having intestinal problems for three days. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 220

You deserved it 224

Skittish

By Anonymous - 18/07/2023 22:00 - Netherlands - Hardenberg

Today, my dad came home and wanted to grab a glass. It wasn't in direct sight so he slammed the cupboard door so hard, I peed my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 596

You deserved it 175

That homely smell

By Bottomless_Pit_for_the_NOMS - 23/09/2020 10:01 - United States - Miami

Today, my mother had just got home and we were both in the kitchen. She then starts to get out food and I smelled deviled eggs. Delighted, I asked, "Do I smell deviled eggs?" She turned around laughing and announced she'd farted. I effectively got hungry from my mother’s fart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 383

You deserved it 367

By fartlover - 27/11/2009 05:10 - Canada

Today, I went over to my boyfriend's apartment and I smelled a delicious aroma as I walked in so I asked him what he was cooking. His response was, "I'm not cooking anything. I just farted." FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 305

You deserved it 8 647

Backfire

By Anonymous - 14/07/2012 20:10 - Nigeria - Lagos

Today, my dad was making coffee for the family. Half-way through, he excused himself to the bathroom, so for a laugh, I discreetly poured a load of salt into his drink. When he served us, I drank a mouthful and doubled over hacking. My dad barked, "I wasn't born yesterday, son." FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 175

You deserved it 54 765

Thanks, I hate it

By Anonymous - 07/01/2011 02:45 - United States

Today, feeling melancholic, I took a blanket out to the backyard and lay down to look at the clouds. My dad came out to ask me what I was doing. I told him, he smirked, squatted over my face, and farted. He then ran back inside and told my mom. She laughed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 218

You deserved it 6 252

By EmbarrassedGirlfriend101 - 17/08/2011 16:40 - United States

Today, while at my boyfriend's house, my stomach began to hurt really badly, so I excused myself to take a shit. I let it all out. Later on, his dad went to the bathroom and yelled, "Goddamn son, what the hell did you do in here?!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 297

You deserved it 7 527

Next

Top comments

whatarethisss 23

Sunday 13 March 2016 0:15

Next time, don't forget to pee around your fridge to mark your territory.

kenyrabit 25

Sunday 13 March 2016 0:17

Never heard of the Dutch-fridge before! :D

Comments

ThuNDeY 23

Sunday 13 March 2016 0:14

Rip in peace

GeorgeCarter95 16

Sunday 13 March 2016 1:31

Rest in peace in peace?

icekingz 7

Sunday 13 March 2016 3:06

It's a meme

SumDonkus 6

Sunday 13 March 2016 10:10

"it's a meme you dip"

ADOG2645 17

Monday 14 March 2016 3:24

Rip in pepperonies

whatarethisss 23

Sunday 13 March 2016 0:15

Next time, don't forget to pee around your fridge to mark your territory.

firefighter925 18

Sunday 13 March 2016 5:04

That's a good idea, I'm gonna go pee on my girlfriend

whatarethisss 23

Sunday 13 March 2016 6:04

Kinky! Lmao.

isuckwithnames 22

Sunday 13 March 2016 12:14

R. Kelly?

HoboMeth 33

Sunday 13 March 2016 0:16

kick him out

TheClassicMan848 11

Sunday 13 March 2016 0:17

You're dad is either really funny, or an absolute asshole

MidnaLink 33

Sunday 13 March 2016 3:02

I'm going to go with asshole, just because that's NASTY!

isuckwithnames 22

Sunday 13 March 2016 12:21

Why? We can assume that he's wearing pants and underwear, since the wording of the post implies OP lives away from their parents and that is the social norm for developed countries. The fart would have to penetrate the underwear and pants so nothing is getting in there.

kenyrabit 25

Sunday 13 March 2016 0:17

Never heard of the Dutch-fridge before! :D

WCARlover 34

Sunday 13 March 2016 0:17

Well if you were planning on having beans for dinner he's just taking out the middleman

Scarylizard1798 23

Sunday 13 March 2016 0:21

Dad jokes gone too far

JpTheGreat23 19

Sunday 13 March 2016 0:23

Delicious

FelicityWishes 32

Sunday 13 March 2016 0:34

Free dinner :D

weatherxveins 29

Sunday 13 March 2016 0:40

How considerate of him to provide for his family.

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The Top

Today, after finally getting up the confidence, I started talking really dirty to my boyfriend on the phone. I was getting really onto it, and he seemed to enjoy it too. Then I stopped for a second to gauge his reaction. He was snoring. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 873

You deserved it 4 683

Today, my wife dragged me to the bathroom, promising to "show something hot." Not that I was in the mood, but okay. She took off her pants, sat on a toilet, and demanded that I tell her about my day. She wanted me to entertain her while she was taking a dump. FML

I agree, your life sucks 504

You deserved it 83

The Top

Today, I was super flattered to find out that one of my former white collar colleagues recommended me for a job. It wasn’t until the phone interview that I realized it was at the lunch counter at her new office building. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 118

You deserved it 119

Today, my fiancée showed me her wedding plans. It will be themed on one of her video games, the best man will be dressed as an alien warlord, and the vows talk about how we'll beat the odds and be blessed by the "Goddess Kalahira". Apparently, I have no say in this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 900

You deserved it 6 201

Today, I had to get out my birth certificate to prove to my dad that today is my birthday. This has happened before. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 596

You deserved it 2 107

Today, I saw a woman who I thought was pregnant on the bus. Trying to be nice, I offered her my seat and congratulated her. She wasn't pregnant, just holding a large bag of groceries. The entire bus heard me and the death glare she gave could’ve turned me to stone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 141

You deserved it 493

Today, after buying my girlfriend a $700 bracelet for Christmas, I hinted that I wanted a pair of Oakleys. She told me I shouldn't get her anything and that I should expect even less. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 310

You deserved it 8 681

Today, my son asked for my help with a personal matter. I was flattered that he trusted me, since he's a paranoid, untrusting psycho. Turned out he wanted to use my locksmith skills to break into his ex's house and "teach her a lesson" for breaking up with him after he cheated on her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 866

You deserved it 5 424