Today, my dad explained to me the "chain of command" for our house. McKinley, Mom, himself, Charlie, then me. McKinley is my two year old daughter and Charlie is the dog. He was dead serious. FML
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70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Today, I realised my dad speaks to me the same way he speaks to my dog when she's done something bad. FML
Today, I was woken up by my dad and my dog barking at each other, and my dad yelling, "I am the Alpha male!" FML
Today, I noticed that my dad scolds me in the same tone of voice that he uses to scold our two dogs. Gives a whole new meaning to being treated like a dog. FML
Today, I went on a run with the family dog. I returned home to three missed calls and a hysterical voicemail from my dad. Why? The dog was gone. Not me, his 15 year-old daughter, the dog. FML
Today, my dad called my by the family dog's name, and stared at me blankly as if struggling to remember my name when I was annoyed. FML
Today, my Dad told me that I was named after the dog he accidentally shot in the head as a teenager. FML
Today, my mom confessed to loving my "little sister" more than she loves me. My "little sister" is the family dog. FML
Today, I was awoken by a conversation my mom was having with my dog upstairs. She was telling my dog that a ghost lives in our house. She was completely serious. The ghost even has a name and a backstory. FML
Today, my husband informed me that his father adopted a dog. I replied "Cool," he then said, "She happens to have your name." I think my father in law is trying to send me a message. FML
Today, I was laying my head on my dad's dog when he walked in. I jokingly asked my dad, "I'm cuddling with your dog, are you jealous?" At that same moment, the dog lets a massive, earth-quaking fart loose, and my dad promptly responded, "Nope!" FML
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Top comments
rebbee 0
YDI for calling your child McKinley.
purplecowchik 5
YDI. Time to move out already!
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Comments (161)
Terezi 0
I was hoping, deep in the cockles of my heart, that somebody other than me would say this. Thanks for restoring a bit of my faith in humanity, #8.
rebbee 0
I was disgusted when I read the name. I was hoping that 'McKinley' was a pet. But I was a fool to assume such a thing. :-)
DarkHelmet 10
I concur
rebbee 0
love the pic 27, cracks me up every time! :-)
perdix 31
It makes total sense, an unwed teen mom can't even be entrusted to guard her own ******, how can she be put in charge of anything else? I'll bet you Charlie hasn't gotten any bitch pregnant.
rebbee 0
^^^^^ WIN!!!!!!
monnanon 14
but a married teen mum would be so much more responsible eh Perdix? lol sorry for picking on that wee bit I need to curb my thoughts on marriage in public :) On a serious note we don't know how old she is, she may have been living with the father in their own house but when he left they had to move in with her parents. unlikely scenario but you never know :)
perdix 31
monnanon, if she were married, that would just be one more mammal ahead of her in the "chain of command." hahahahaha. Of course, we don't know the OP's age and situation, but there's a basic rule of comedy that if you have zillions of conditional statements preceding it, the punchline is not going to be that damn funny. We might be on the same page about marriage in general, but when it comes to kids, having two good parents is the best situation. Marriage can kind of force that to happen even when the parents might not like each other anymore.
monnanon 14
yeah i agree with you two gd parents are always best no matter what relationship those parents have
Vampgirl202 4
I bet he did!!!!
Awnonymous 4
Two year old kid and living at home? Sounds about right.
canadian_ftw 8
so your kid's name is worse than the dog's name... you should have named them the other way around.
Snarky50 0
Sounds like it's time to move out and pay your own way while you still know everything.
azzaj 0
McKinley. Really?
ArianS2 0
"Fetch me my bone bitch" says the dog.
zemo999 0
You don't think grandkids outrank the kids?!?? If there was some way to have grandkids with having to have kids first, they'd be using it!!
bella_coza 0
my mother told me the same thing when my son was born. she said if she could have been a grandma first it would have been better. it's a known fact that children become shit when they make their parents grandparents.
TobyFunke 3
well, obviously, YDI for having a 2 year old and living at home, why didn't you plan for that kid you idiot?? If you want sympathy for someone putting you behind your daughter and dog (you should put your child above you by the way), you are wrong, all you get it ******* torn apart for being a bad parent living with their parents
nerdsgetmehot 23
Would you rather she live on her own with her daughter and barely be able to support herself-- let alone the kid?
ohthebloodygore 16
I'm with NGMH on this one. Half the people who do have children don't plan on it.
bella_coza 0
Toby your parent most likely didn't plan to have you,as for like 90% of pregnancies out there they are not planned. just because it wasn't a planned pregnancy doesn't mean it wasn't a wanted or a happy pregnancy.
TheIrishJaneDoe 9
47: I have to disagree with just about everything you've said. Contrary to popular belief, living with your parents as an adult does not necessarily indicate a lack of responsibility. Many uncontrollable circumstances could necessitate such an arrangement. For example, although we have no kids, Mr. Doe and I had to live with family for awhile to "get back on our feet" after a traumatic few years. I'd developed an unforeseen and non-preventable disability. My husband needed help taking care of me, and medical costs were bleeding us dry every month. As for the rankings, I would agree with you that the child should come first, *if* the list was ranking the household by priority. It wasn't. The OP specifically said the list indicated the *authority* given to each member of the household. I can understand grandparents letting a kid rule their roost, but only as long as the child didn't live in that situation full-time. Even the most precocious and well-behaved two year old needs at least one strong authority figure in her life, preferably a parent. The grandparents are doing this little girl no favors by taking that away.
DocBastard 40
Kay, you hit the nail right on the cockhead. Jane, you're right - kids come first. My daughter is the most important thing in my life, and I include my own life in my life. Wait, that didn't come out right. Goddammit, you know what I mean! Quit hounding me!
DocBastard 40
At some point in the future, someone shall Mount McKinley. What, too soon?