Today, my dad and I got into a fight over who gets the last corner piece of the brownies. I ended up with a black eye and and a sprained wrist. He ended up with the brownie and ran away laughing. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my dad threw a waffle at my face for his own amusement. FML
Today, my dad and mom and I were going out to eat dinner. My dad wanted a romantic dinner just with my mom so he told me to make an excuse not to go. I did, which ended up as a huge fight, grounded and phone taken away. My dad just stood there in the background putting thumbs up. FML
Today, I saw two kids having a fistfight in the street. I ran over to stop them, and one ended up hitting me in the eye. I now have a black eye over what turned out to have been a fight over who was going to get the last slice of pizza. FML
Today, I baked some brownies and after my mom ate one, I joked that I put weed in them. Turns out the placebo effect's a bitch, because she quickly started acting high as a kite. One bitch fit later, the brownies are in the trash and I'm grounded until I tell her where I bought the "weed". FML
Today, while bending over to get the brownies I was making out of the oven, my husband slapped my butt. I fell into the oven. FML
Today, my mom and dad got into a fight, during which my dad said to my mom that her health conditions were of her own doing. Because of that, I got pissed and had a fight with my dad, taking my mom's side. Turns out, my mom took his side and ratted me out. FML
Today, I got slapped in the face by my girlfriend with a banana skin, because I finished up the chocolate cake. FML
Today, I made brownies for my co-workers. My boss called me into his office, and I though he was going to compliment me on the baking. Instead, he talked about how his 5-year-old daughter can make brownies better than me. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I got into a fight after the gym. Then, a cheesecake I'd baked for a client cracked all the way through. Then, my oven broke as I was trying to make a new one, so I left to bake it at a friend's house, at which point I locked my keys and all of my supplies inside my car. FML
Today, I injured my knee and dislocated my shoulder fighting over a cookie with my brother. He's 14. I'm 26. He still got the cookie. FML
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Top comments
DanbotXIII 10
You must train harder to snatch pebble from palm, grasshopper.
Freeze_fml 17
Food chain in effect.
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Comments (161)
duckie1015 9
My family and I fight NOT to get the corner pieces soooo you're perfectly welcome to just take all of ours. Problem solved :)
kemando 22
Buy the edge brownie pan from Vat19 all pieces are edge pieces!! :D
Rachel1987 4
Are there limited brownies in your trailer park? I can't think of a good reason to physically fight over a brownie. Unless your family is just THAT fat and needs to sustain their "shape."
MeMareeh 0
72 Brownies know no boundries! Not even trailer parks. Nor are they devoured by only the fat. And corner brownies??? MMM THE BEST !!!
Saddyohh 13
So make the Brownies in a pie dish. Genius!
emodude44 0
Preciouuussss... Juicy meat, is good to eat, its nice and sweeeet.... Stupid fat hobbitses... They take my PRECIOUS! We wants the brownie yes we does! We wants it! The brownie IS MY PRECIOUS!
sabb1228 0
I'd go up to him, yell **** you, and drill him as hard as you can.
enopola 5
Yeah, then at least you look hard for that spilt second before you take the back of the pimp hand across the face to the ground.
chquitaMa 0
Can't mess around when it come to browines ! ;D
shelby_sevenfold 0
You do realize you can turn him in... Fyl.
gthum 10
Dysfunctional family you got there.
perdix 31
When I grew up, you never ate the last of anything, that was for Dad. How could you be so disrespectful? If you want to be the alpha male, get a job and start your own family. Just make sure you marry a woman who bakes like a BAWS! BTW, back in biblical times, striking a parent was a death-penalty crime. You're just out a corner brownie.