Today, my dad and I got into a fight over who gets the last corner piece of the brownies. I ended up with a black eye and and a sprained wrist. He ended up with the brownie and ran away laughing. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my dad threw a waffle at my face for his own amusement. FML
Today, my dad and mom and I were going out to eat dinner. My dad wanted a romantic dinner just with my mom so he told me to make an excuse not to go. I did, which ended up as a huge fight, grounded and phone taken away. My dad just stood there in the background putting thumbs up. FML
Today, I saw two kids having a fistfight in the street. I ran over to stop them, and one ended up hitting me in the eye. I now have a black eye over what turned out to have been a fight over who was going to get the last slice of pizza. FML
Today, I baked some brownies and after my mom ate one, I joked that I put weed in them. Turns out the placebo effect's a bitch, because she quickly started acting high as a kite. One bitch fit later, the brownies are in the trash and I'm grounded until I tell her where I bought the "weed". FML
Today, while bending over to get the brownies I was making out of the oven, my husband slapped my butt. I fell into the oven. FML
Today, my mom and dad got into a fight, during which my dad said to my mom that her health conditions were of her own doing. Because of that, I got pissed and had a fight with my dad, taking my mom's side. Turns out, my mom took his side and ratted me out. FML
Today, I got slapped in the face by my girlfriend with a banana skin, because I finished up the chocolate cake. FML
Today, I made brownies for my co-workers. My boss called me into his office, and I though he was going to compliment me on the baking. Instead, he talked about how his 5-year-old daughter can make brownies better than me. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I got into a fight after the gym. Then, a cheesecake I'd baked for a client cracked all the way through. Then, my oven broke as I was trying to make a new one, so I left to bake it at a friend's house, at which point I locked my keys and all of my supplies inside my car. FML
Today, I injured my knee and dislocated my shoulder fighting over a cookie with my brother. He's 14. I'm 26. He still got the cookie. FML
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Top comments
DanbotXIII 10
You must train harder to snatch pebble from palm, grasshopper.
Freeze_fml 17
Food chain in effect.
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Comments (161)
shibeep 12
Love hurts right?
wd_caro 6
go dad! I'm guessing your in his house where he is king and you are a sponging leach who soaks up money and valuable oxygen!!
rubberduckie72 4
this ks the first fml that actually made me laugh out loud. it soumds like my house. i have seen races to the kitchen with people being thrown out of the path for the corner peices. oh yeah you haters dads not nesscesrily abusive, probably just some good natured scuffling. its all fun and ges tkll someone ends up with a black eye and sprained wrist. U MADE MY DAY WITH UR PAIN.
stevenJB 25
To 19....brownies aren't jus a treat, they are a way of life!!!
StromyG2 10
EMANCIPATION.
LullzKitteh 1
I suspect op's dad was playing "why are you hitting yourself?" with weakling op, who therefore gave himself the injuries!
wordbigbird 0
And and I guess he left you with a concussion
beckyxD 13
Hehehehe. Brownie Points. (cheesy joke :D)
BloodyMary666 24
Seriously, that´s child abuse...
Matty1188 6
Your dad is an abuser then. Seriously, parents aren't supposed to hurt their children, brownie or not.