Anonymous
United States
Today, my cousin taught me how to make dinner. My cousin is in first grade and I'm in college. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Anonymous
Impossible relationship
Today, I had another dinner with the girl that I started dating a few weeks ago. During dinner, we talked about our families. We realized that we're actually cousins. FML
Anonymous
Canada
Epipen time!
Today, my aunt asked me to babysit my cousin. She gave me a warning that he says he's allergic to foods to get out of eating them. When I brought out my homemade cooking, he told me he was allergic, so I made him eat it anyway. Turns out he WAS allergic. FML
Brian
Skopje, Macedonia
Good old gender stereotypes
Today, I couldn't open a jar of mayo and my cousin had to open it for me. She's a 16 year-old girl and I'm a 24 year-old guy. FML
Anonymous
Speak for yourself
Today, I was at a fancy family dinner. The dish I'd made was served, and as we ate, I told my aunt that I was a total failure as a cook, explaining everything wrong about my dish, in painful detail. Apparently we'd both made the same dish. That one wasn't mine. FML
Anonymous
Today, I offered to help my mother-in-law boil noodles for some noodle soup. She loudly said, "You know how!?" I'm a chef. FML
jellybean_94
Canada
Today, I found out that my parents are first cousins. FML
Murphy
Today, I bought ingredients for one of my favorite meals and went home to take a nap. When I woke up, my sister had cooked them for everyone else in the house, who ate it all without me. I was told that I shouldn't be angry, but instead proud of my adult sister because, "She cooked!" FML
Anonymous
Canada
Today, my kids told me that for the FIRST time, my cooking was delicious. I made Kraft dinner that night. FML
eww
Vienna, Austria
Today, I was at a big family reunion at my aunt's place. Before dinner, I went outside in the garden for a smoke. Through the kitchen window, I saw my cousin spit in the soup. Twice. My aunt patted his back and continued stirring. FML
babybambi
Today, I got food poisoning for the first time after cooking. Yesterday, I met my boyfriend's family for the first time. FML
Top comments
Big_Red_138 3
I'm in college too. Ramen ftw!!
Darcon 8
Noob.
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Comments (146)
ifailplzinsultme 0
call woman and ask for a sammich! Easy as pie (no pun intended) I'm preparing for lots of thumbs down...
brad036 0
thumbs up man!! I agree
womanjesus 0
when you say that you're prepared for 'thumbs down', that provokes people to give you a thumbs down. heads up.
ifailplzinsultme 0
51- Yes I was hoping to get my comment "burried" And thanks other guy who replied:)
DaM_iM_sO_nY 2
you like eating fried ice with with a air wiped sauce on the side ....yummy
shortstuffs23 7
at least when you graduate you'll be related to a famous chef. :)
_Meghan_ 5
the question is, why would a first grader be aloud to cook?
sabrinahusic 0
allowed :D
_Meghan_ 5
32- Thank You :D
sabrinahusic 0
:D you're very welcome.
poopdayz 6
Chef Boyardee.
BountyBass 13
all u need to know is how to make a banana sandwich....sorted!
skyeyez9 25
Parenting fail! They should have taught you how cook, among other life skills as well.
FreebirdIII 1
And if they don't deliver in 30 minutes, is it free???
FreshPairOfNikes 0
that's legit.
florenzfang 0
Well what did you teach him then ?