Intimacy: Today, my college roommate whom I've never met moved in. Good...

By mrboston - 01/09/2009 23:44 - United States

Today, my college roommate whom I've never met moved in. Good thing I wasn't completely naked, playing with myself on the couch when he walked in. That would've been awkward. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 650

You deserved it 43 274

When Christmas Ends Badly…
Rather than debating politics with Uncle Roger for the umpteenth time, share the best Christmas FMLs to finally have a good family meal! More…

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Same thing different taste

Scheduling

By Anonymous - 20/07/2010 04:53 - United States

Today, I moved into my new apartment and met my new roommate. Immediately after shaking hands he suggested that we make a "masturbation schedule" to avoid any awkward situations. Way to avoid an awkward situation. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 256

You deserved it 4 233

Creeped out

By HadToApologize - 03/11/2009 05:20 - United States

Today, I took a shower at my girlfriend's apartment. I was wandering around, gathering my clothes when I noticed my girl doing her hair in the other room. She looked sort of peculiar, so I stood there, studying her. Half naked. I then realized it wasn't my girlfriend, but her roommate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 395

You deserved it 23 121

By jkin47 - 04/08/2010 01:44 - United States

Today, I moved into my new college apartment for the next year. A 45 year old guy with a mustache in short shorts and no shirt answers the door. He will be one of my roommates. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 683

You deserved it 4 046

By oneloveliz - 17/09/2017 23:15

Today, I was watching my dog via security camera live feed, when my roommate came in completely naked to make breakfast for himself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 492

You deserved it 1 578

Wait, what?

By Sally - 24/07/2009 09:04 - United States

Today, my roommate came home and began changing clothes in the same room that my boyfriend and I were in. I quickly got annoyed and angry and when I began questioning her about it she just laughed while saying, "Oh relax, it's not like he's never seen me naked before." FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 454

You deserved it 4 792

Gagging for it

By Anonymous - 20/02/2023 14:00 - United States - Cleveland

Today, my roommate spends so much time in our dorm room that I got a boner when I heard him leaving for class, because it was my first chance in days to jack off in peace. FML

I agree, your life sucks 939

You deserved it 268

By Anonymous - 19/01/2010 00:01 - United States

Today, I met my new college room-mate. He then introduced me to his imaginary friend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 900

You deserved it 2 852

By LovelySB - 21/04/2019 04:00

Today, while trying to get over all the emotional things I've been going through, I forgot that my bedroom door was open and here my silly behind was dancing in my underwear while my roommate watched on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 621

You deserved it 729

By Anonymous - 25/09/2013 21:33 - United Kingdom

Today, I walked in on my roommate whacking off to clown porn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 267

You deserved it 7 069

By Bananapi - 10/09/2017 13:00

Today, my flatmate moved in with me. Unfortunately, unbeknownst to me, so did her mother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 842

You deserved it 242

rhcpbeezy 0

Wednesday 2 September 2009 9:01

I love how this is phrased haha

caancoha 0

Wednesday 2 September 2009 9:35

[Cont.] I hope you winked at him and moaned out, "I thought you should have a taste of the next year of your life" as you finished, got up, stroked his face, and shrugged on your robe.

Comments

mastory96 0

Wednesday 2 September 2009 14:40

hah! I'm sure the people who don't get it are the little 12 year olds on here. because honestly, how would a 15+ year old NOT get it? OP: haha... good luck with him. I hope he comes around to your seduction powers. and to those who don't get THAT, it was also sarcasm.