Today, I asked my boyfriend why he becomes insatiably horny whenever he hears "Jailhouse Rock" by Elvis Presley. It turns out that was the song on the radio when he was losing his virginity, when he was 16, with his sister. He insists it’s not weird because their parents are half-siblings. I can’t even. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend and I lost our virginity to one another. He then did a naked victory lap around his dad's house, blasting Akon's "I Just Had Sex" at full volume. He's legally an adult. FML
Today, I jokingly told my boyfriend that he should sing the "I'm too sexy for my shirt, so sexy it hurts…" song before we had sex. Now, every time we have sex, that song is going to be in my head. FML
Today, I jokingly told my boyfriend that he should sing that song that goes 'I'm too sexy for my shirt' when we have sex. Now, every time that we have sex, that song is going to be stuck in my head. FML
Today, I found out that my favorite song since I was a small child is actually about anal sex and delaying an orgasm. FML
Today, my girlfriend was complaining that we don't have "a song". Irritated, I told her that I'd put on the radio, and whatever song was playing was our song from now on. I switched on the radio, and "It's Not Fair" by Lily Allen was playing. Our song is about premature ejaculation. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I lost our virginity to each other. Before, I reached over to her computer and put on "Your Body is a Wonderland". Surprisingly, I lasted through the song and didn't realize her iTunes was on random. "Rape Me" by Nirvana came on. I still finished. FML
Today, I decided to try jazz music on YouTube. I’d only listened to a few songs when my dad came running in with a baseball bat, demanding to know where “he” was hiding. Apparently, everybody knows jazz is “sex music” so he thought I had a man in my room. I’m 24, I could have men in my room if I wanted. FML
Today, I treated my adult daughter to a vintage record player to celebrate three months of sobriety. Now whenever her boyfriend comes over, they crank up the volume on my old vinyls, and I now have to associate Johnny Cash's "Get Rhythm" with them screwing like rabbits. FML
Today, I was introduced to a YouTube musician called S3RL. I was listening to a playlist of his music all day. Then of course when I went to pick up my girlfriend, some song came on that was just exaggerated sex moans pitched into music. She stared at me then burst out laughing and called me a pervert. FML
Today, I got it on for the first time with a guy I've been dating. He had to turn the TV up loud so that his mom couldn't hear anything. I'm 20 years old and I lost my virginity with Disney Channel blaring in the background. FML
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Top comments
Khay33 12
Sweet Home Alabama!
cuz803 46
Oh hell no. RUN! RUN!! RUN!!!!!!!
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Comments (9)
Khay33 12
Sweet Home Alabama!
Hangryko 32
I'm sure you meant "ex-boyfriend."
lukey101 26
Nothing wrong with a bit of incest, so long as you keep it in the family 😉
tiptoppc 21
Incest: fun the whole family can partake in! Because family that lays together, stays together. Paddle faster, I hear banjos!
RichardPencil 32
Ick factor off the charts on this one! With his genetics, your children might end up as a bunch of r-words. Dump him!
cuz803 46
Oh hell no. RUN! RUN!! RUN!!!!!!!
Jesse Duff 15
so your done...either way, you cant compete with family
JackWood 21
His reasoning is if half siblings can do it, then whole siblings can do it too. Hope you never have children with this man.
mccuish 25
Get the **** out of there
Anderling 33
Girl you need to drop everything and run
BurnInDemonFire 39
I think it's time he went from "Jailhouse Rock" to "Jailhouse Bitch". And throw in the rest of those inbred weirdos for good measure.