Intimacy: Today, my college roommate whom I've never met moved in. Good... - FML

By mrboston - 01/09/2009 23:44 - United States

Spicy

Today, my college roommate whom I've never met moved in. Good thing I wasn't completely naked, playing with myself on the couch when he walked in. That would've been awkward. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 650

You deserved it 43 274

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Same thing different taste

Scheduling

By Anonymous - 20/07/2010 04:53 - United States

Spicy

Today, I moved into my new apartment and met my new roommate. Immediately after shaking hands he suggested that we make a "masturbation schedule" to avoid any awkward situations. Way to avoid an awkward situation. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 256

You deserved it 4 233

Creeped out

By HadToApologize - 03/11/2009 05:20 - United States

Today, I took a shower at my girlfriend's apartment. I was wandering around, gathering my clothes when I noticed my girl doing her hair in the other room. She looked sort of peculiar, so I stood there, studying her. Half naked. I then realized it wasn't my girlfriend, but her roommate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 395

You deserved it 23 121

By jkin47 - 04/08/2010 01:44 - United States

Today, I moved into my new college apartment for the next year. A 45 year old guy with a mustache in short shorts and no shirt answers the door. He will be one of my roommates. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 683

You deserved it 4 046

By oneloveliz - 17/09/2017 23:15

Today, I was watching my dog via security camera live feed, when my roommate came in completely naked to make breakfast for himself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 492

You deserved it 1 578

Wait, what?

By Sally - 24/07/2009 09:04 - United States

Today, my roommate came home and began changing clothes in the same room that my boyfriend and I were in. I quickly got annoyed and angry and when I began questioning her about it she just laughed while saying, "Oh relax, it's not like he's never seen me naked before." FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 454

You deserved it 4 792

Gagging for it

By Anonymous - 20/02/2023 14:00 - United States - Cleveland

Spicy

Today, my roommate spends so much time in our dorm room that I got a boner when I heard him leaving for class, because it was my first chance in days to jack off in peace. FML

I agree, your life sucks 939

You deserved it 268

By Anonymous - 19/01/2010 00:01 - United States

Today, I met my new college room-mate. He then introduced me to his imaginary friend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 900

You deserved it 2 852

By LovelySB - 21/04/2019 04:00

Today, while trying to get over all the emotional things I've been going through, I forgot that my bedroom door was open and here my silly behind was dancing in my underwear while my roommate watched on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 621

You deserved it 729

By Anonymous - 25/09/2013 21:33 - United Kingdom

Spicy

Today, I walked in on my roommate whacking off to clown porn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 267

You deserved it 7 069

By Bananapi - 10/09/2017 13:00

Today, my flatmate moved in with me. Unfortunately, unbeknownst to me, so did her mother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 842

You deserved it 242

Next

Top comments

rhcpbeezy 0

Wednesday 2 September 2009 9:01

I love how this is phrased haha

caancoha 0

Wednesday 2 September 2009 9:35

[Cont.] I hope you winked at him and moaned out, "I thought you should have a taste of the next year of your life" as you finished, got up, stroked his face, and shrugged on your robe.

Comments

iislix1ii 19

Tuesday 17 March 2015 4:12

Today I met my roomate for the first time. He was on the couch playing with himself. I have to spend the next year with him. FML

kittykat1501 31

Friday 12 June 2015 5:56

Oh, good! That WOULD have been awkward! ( btw, avoid sarcasm. Or at least say u we're being sarcastic.

bassfisher100 23

Monday 11 January 2016 21:31

duuuude. what happened to your dorm room? why the couch of all places XD

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Today, the girl I was babysitting was being disrespectful to me, so I took away her stuffed animal and told her that she couldn't have it back until she apologized. She ended up sneaking onto my laptop and deleting all the pictures I'd saved from my recent vacation to Europe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 410

You deserved it 20 253

Today, as I was getting dressed after having sex with a guy I like, he told me I looked better with my clothes on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 435

You deserved it 5 618

Today, disappointed with my results on a mathematics test, I went over it and realized my teacher had added up the marks incorrectly, leaving me with 17% less than I earned. The person who's supposed to be teaching me math can't even perform basic arithmetic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 501

You deserved it 4 128

Today, some new people moved into the house next door to mine. The previous occupants were very loud and obnoxious day in and day out, so I was looking forward to some sanity. When I went outside, I noticed they'd parked their cars on my lawn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 664

You deserved it 1 750

Today, knowing very well that I need to be more active, I went for a walk. It quickly turned into a sprint when I was attacked and chased by a dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 759

You deserved it 115

Today, I had finally convinced myself to attend my first BDSM party by telling myself, "No one there knows you, and if they do, they're interested in the same thing." Once there, I immediately noticed the giant hole in my train of thought: One of the bar staff was a fellow uni student. FML

I agree, your life sucks 184

You deserved it 355