Today, my car was in the shop so I borrowed my wife's VW Beetle convertible. It's really embarrassing because it's a girlie car and it's full of little stuffed animals. At a stop light a man asked me if I'd like to borrow one of his testicles because "every man should have at least one." FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, after working and saving up money for an entire year, I bought a 2001 VW Cabrio. I showed it to my friends, they all laughed at me and told me it was a girl's car. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were driving around town in his car. To my surprise he took me out to lunch. As we were leaving, a girl walks up and asks if he had room for one more for a ride, sadly he only has two seats in his car. Guess who had to walk! FML
Today, my girlfriend's dad let me borrow his car for transportation to work because mine got totaled. This car is a complete dump and I've realized he's only letting me use it so it's my fault to fix the broken things on the car. So far, I've had to replace the battery and two popped tires. FML
Today, I bought a used car from a friend of mine. After getting the car home and further inspecting it, I found one of my wife's earrings in the backseat. FML
Today, after months of convincing from my friends, I finally bought a car they claimed would be a chick magnet. Wrong kind of "chick," mates. FML
Today, I asked my girlfriend what her favorite quality about me was. Her answer, "Your car." FML
Today, I was working as a service writer in an auto service shop. A really cute girl came in to buy a headlight, I offered to install the bulb for her. My hand got stuck behind the headlight, she had to ask one of our mechanics to come remove the air box from her car to get my hand out. FML
Today, I drove home in my brand new car, hoping to surprise my girlfriend. She came out the house laughing, saying how funny it was, and how I look like a "twollop" in it. Then in all seriousness, she asked me when I was getting my "actual car" back from the garage. FML
Today, a friend was making fun of our teacher's car, calling it dorkmobile and saying only idiots would own that car. It's the same as the car I just bought. FML
Today, my wife got me a car for my birthday. It's a nice one but I soon realized it's a trap: I have to take her everywhere, or she tells me she can take it back anytime. So much for a gift. FML
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Top comments
evilmatty93 0
That guy had THE BEST CALL EVER! .... you got owned, big time.
hamzy 0
Lol, gotta appreciate the humor. :D
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Comments (281)
HeyitsPheddy 0
I really don't understand how people like this live through their life. If you get caught up on every little thing that hurts your feelings or small obstacle that gets in your way and decide to post it on here, I really feel sorry for you. Brush it off and move on buddy.
Equinox987 0
I have a plush fox on my dashboard and I'm a 27 year old guy. Does this mean I have no bollocks? Of course the fox is called Shemus McFogherty... this is because his original name... sheman mcfaggoty wasn't PC enough :/
Jsgirl 0
Friendly, huh?
eagle20 0
BURN!!!!!!! oh my god that was sick gotta give it to the man though that was pretty funny hahaha made my night
TheGasMaskGuy 0
I'd commit suicide.
audax 0
"Today, I posted about how some complete stranger told me I wasn't a man, and rather than receiving sympathy from total strangers on the INTERNET, they all decided that the stranger was right. FML" Seriously guy, what'd you expect would happen if you posted a story like that online? For that matter, why were you driving with the top down if such an interior embarrasses you? (Assuming this based on the fact that it'd be hard for the guy to see and comment on the interior of your car otherwise.)
tournesol_fml 0
I'm sure he knew it wasn't your car, and wanted to make a joke of the situation. I think it's hilarious!
padlarf 14
DUDE! You have TWO cars! Your life isn't ******
ostensibly 0
Wow... #42, #47, etc., settle down... he didn't say he was devastated by it or anything. Yeah, the site is called "**** My Life," but that's not to say that the people who submit FMLs aren't laughing about it.
F_Y_Comments 0
My girlfriend has a beetle, so I can relate. Although I think YDI as it sounds like you chose to have the hood down.