Today, my brother's high school was having a soccer game against mine, and as a sign of good luck, I told him to "break a leg". He broke mine. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, everyone at school told me to wish my brother a happy birthday. We're twins. FML
Today, in class my friend played a joke on me by pulling my seat from under me while i was about to sit. I fell and everybody laughed at me. During the next class, I did the same thing to him. He broke his arm. He was the star of the basketball team. Nobody laughed. FML
Today, I broke my leg while trying to show my friend how I broke my other leg. FML
Today, while trying to comfort my little brother who just injured his leg, I tripped and sprained my ankle. At least he was amused. FML
Today, I'm sitting in the ER with a broken finger, all because I beat my little brother in a Wii game. He ran over and twisted my finger, saying, "Now how are you going to beat me, cunt?" FML
Today, I thought it would be fun and nice to pick my little brother up, but no, he accidentally kicked me in the balls. Twice. FML
Today, my little brother was feeling like the god damned bratty douchebag he is and hurled a basketball at me. It missed, hit the wall, and rebounded straight into his face. He burst into tears, and I'm now grounded because my parents believed him when he said I threw it at him. FML
Today, at a soccer game held by my girlfriend's family, some idiot went to kick the ball, missed by a mile, and hit the ground hard. So I started a slow, sarcastic clap. I got a load of angry looks, followed by verbal abuse when we found out he'd split his head open on the ground. FML
Today, I walked by the boys' locker room to surprise my best friend when he came out for his soccer game. I heard a voice shout from inside, “If I score today, I'll get to score with Jenna!” followed by a bunch of men’s hoots. I’ve known him since we were freshmen and I see this guy as a brother. FML
Today, I had a basketball game against our rivals. Since the starting guard had a broken ankle, I felt happy that I could finally get playing time and prove that I'm good. Instead I had to run the scoreboard for the game, because the scoreboard guy was absent. FML
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Top comments
Tripartita 44
This is why I always tell rivals to "give me a million dollars" prior to playing against them. I've gotten the weirdest looks and people are starting to talk behind my back, but it'll be worth it once I'm rolling in dough!
SquilliamFancy 15
Why do you and your brother attend different schools? You're obviously within the same age range if you're rivaling one another, so... What gives?
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Comments (40)
Trainn 19
Your brother's a real savage.
creditless 14
evil mistress literal strikes again
ASIR786 9
is nobody wondering why they go to different high schools?