Today, my brother flicked a huge bug onto my foot, making me freak out and fall into my outdoors pool. The water was so cold that I started hyperventilating. My brother left to "get help". I finally managed to get out, and found him watching TV. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my friend and I decided to go skinny-dipping in her pool just after we'd finished watching a scary movie. While we were in the pool, I heard something move in the bushes so I freaked out and ran onto the deck, slipping and falling flat on my back. Her dad saw the whole thing. FML
Today, I rushed home after my mom called saying our upstairs had flooded. Apparently, my little brother somehow broke the toilet while unsupervised and water overflowed everywhere. It even reached my closet, shoes, and books, and everything touching my floor in my room is now wet. FML
Today, my brother accidentally hit me in the throat. After I stopped coughing, choking, and feeling like I was going to die, he came back into my room, quietly said "I know your weakness," and left. FML
Today, while I was showering, my brother thought it would be funny to burst through the door pretending he was a burglar. Panicked, I went to grab the soap bar as a weapon, slipped, fell, and hit my head on the faucet. FML
Today, for the second time in my life, I fell and got stuck between my wall and my bed wrapped in a blanket, mad. Instead of helping me, my brother just took videos. FML
Today, I had a bath in the bathroom we are currently renovating. There's a big hole in the middle of the floor. When I got out of the bath, I swung one leg across the gap to get a towel from the rack. I drew back my leg and looked down to see my brother's hot friend staring up at me in horror. FML
Today, I was in the toilet when somebody started banging on the door loudly. I panicked and immediately cleaned my self and opened the door. As I opened the door, my brother vomited all over me. FML
Today, a fly landed on my face. Before I could even react, my brother "helpfully" punched it hard enough to both kill the fly and knock me out. FML
Today, I had to take my little brother to the pool. He acted like a brat the whole time, and when I told him we were leaving, he ran away, slipped, and hit his face on the tile floor. He told my dad and step-mom I punched him. They believed him, and I'm grounded for two months. FML
Today, I went to a river near my house. They have several swing ropes that you grab and then jump into the river. As I was about to let go of the rope, my leg got tangled and I was held underwater. My mom watched and laughed for a while before she came to help me. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
perdix 31
He was looking for the infomercial on how to save drowning people, but got distracted by the Shake Weight one.
illmatic2 16
Wow, that's a really COLD thing to do. But don't let it bug you to much.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (108)
sourgirl101 29
You're so silly! It's just a bug.
I_iz_B_a_troll 24
Bugs are the devils minions, miniature monstres from the deepest parts of Hell! No such thing as just a bug! The only good bug is a dead bug!
sourgirl101 29
Forensic science makes me appreciate all insects. They're not scary to me.(:
I_iz_B_a_troll 24
When they bite, sting, and rape you to death, don't come crying to me!
bugmenotmofo 34
That's what brothers are for! Still, I'd find a way to get your brother in trouble just for the heck of it. I'm "insect-phobic." =/
KylaaKatastrophe 0
Entomophobia- the fear of insects...
hasan_shami2013 0
slap him right in the face
starberries 0
She'd probably hurt her delicate girlie hand.
TheZarola 10
YDI. It's a bug. Not a big deal.
KenB99 15
yeah, but bugs in australia are ENORMOUS and THEY LOOK LIKE DEMONS
Mabster84 2
agreed. it's a bug... Get over yourself girl, there are more important things to get upset about... YDI
AlexBuda 0
Christ its just a bug I hope all that was worth it.
Lizza330 28
People she might have a phobia of bugs, so please stop saying get over it.
st0815 9
She said she was hyperventilating because "the water was so cold". Anyway: unless the FML states explicitly that she is receiving treatment for a phobia, it's entirely fair to assume she's a drama queen. Actual phobias are rare, people who urgently need to get over it, are not.
ImaginaryFoe 1
Agreed. I hate how everyone who freaks out over something claims phobia. A phobia is a severe, irrational fear that can render you helpless. OP sounds like a drama queen who thinks bugs are icky.
Zebidee 9
I'm Australian, and you'd be crazy NOT to have a phobia of bugs there! If OP was worried about the thing that landed on her foot, she should have been more worried about the Funnel-web Spiders alive and waiting at the bottom of the pool...
2kool4skoolyo 0
this time of year in australia isn't the weather around 70 ish? you are exaggerating
Zebidee 9
What utter rubbish OP. Hyperventilating? In a pool in Australia in spring? What was the water, only 15C/60F? 1) The water was mildly cool - you were in no danger. 2) It's a backyard pool - you could stand up. 3) You're an Australian with a pool - you can swim. 4) "Managed to get out" - what were the steps, like a whole couple of feet away? 5) You clearly weren't unconscious, because you could communicate with your brother. If I was him, I'd have walked away from your overly dramatic whiny ass as well. If he was a proper brother, he'd have locked the door behind him.
ImaginaryFoe 1
No, a proper brother would've found more bugs to fling into the pool right by her then gone into the house and locked the door. I bet she would've gotten out of the pool right quick then.
love_me_electric 20
1) Water warms up slower than air. The temperature in the pool was probably a lot cooler than the air outside. 2)She wouldn't be able to stand up if she fell in the deep end, I doubt she's 8 feet tall. 3)How about we throw you into a body of cold water and see how well you can swim? 4)A few feet is a lot when the water is cold and you have wet clothes dragging you down. Sometimes people in boating accidents die within 10 feet of the shore. 5)Where does it say she was unconscious?
ImaginaryFoe 1
Those could all be valid points, love me electric, but the fact that it did not happen argues against it. The water may have been cooler than the air but that does not mean it was at freezing temperatures. OP obviously knows how to swim and her brother was aware of it. She was not injured. In the ocean, the extra weight of clothes may mean the difference between surviving or not; in a pool, less so. I've been pushed into chilly water fully clothed. You don't suddenly forget how to swim.
Zebidee 9
love_me_electric - the ocean temperature in Sydney at the moment is 19C/67F, so a backyard pool is going to be warmer than that even if this was posted a few weeks ago, so she could pretty reasonably have been in there for a few hours with no problem. Even in the largest domestic pools, you can't tell me that you're going to be that far away from somewhere you can stand up. I HAVE been in cold water, out of my depth, fully dressed and managed to live to tell the tale. The unconscious part is because that's when the brother actually should have done something. Someone standing in chest-deep water going "OMG OMG it's so cold!!" needs to be laughed at, not rescued. Most Aussies take water safety pretty seriously, so if there was any actual danger, I'm sure his reaction would have been different.
FFYL334 0
31, agreed.
starberries 0
#46, "How about we throw you into a body of cold water and see how well you can swim?" Er, I can swim well enough, thanks. But if she has absolutely no ability to swim whatsoever, she should not be near enough to the pool that she could fall in.
dragonaair 5
51 The water is freezing at the moment. It is Spring, almost summer, but the weather is funny and it is quite cold out.
x_HELLo_tHERE_x 0
You guys should be on some debate teams.
Nutz321 0
the hotter the weather, the colder the pool is.