Today, my brother flicked a huge bug onto my foot, making me freak out and fall into my outdoors pool. The water was so cold that I started hyperventilating. My brother left to "get help". I finally managed to get out, and found him watching TV. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, my friend and I decided to go skinny-dipping in her pool just after we'd finished watching a scary movie. While we were in the pool, I heard something move in the bushes so I freaked out and ran onto the deck, slipping and falling flat on my back. Her dad saw the whole thing. FML
Today, I rushed home after my mom called saying our upstairs had flooded. Apparently, my little brother somehow broke the toilet while unsupervised and water overflowed everywhere. It even reached my closet, shoes, and books, and everything touching my floor in my room is now wet. FML
Today, my brother accidentally hit me in the throat. After I stopped coughing, choking, and feeling like I was going to die, he came back into my room, quietly said "I know your weakness," and left. FML
Today, while I was showering, my brother thought it would be funny to burst through the door pretending he was a burglar. Panicked, I went to grab the soap bar as a weapon, slipped, fell, and hit my head on the faucet. FML
Today, for the second time in my life, I fell and got stuck between my wall and my bed wrapped in a blanket, mad. Instead of helping me, my brother just took videos. FML
Today, I had a bath in the bathroom we are currently renovating. There's a big hole in the middle of the floor. When I got out of the bath, I swung one leg across the gap to get a towel from the rack. I drew back my leg and looked down to see my brother's hot friend staring up at me in horror. FML
Today, I was in the toilet when somebody started banging on the door loudly. I panicked and immediately cleaned my self and opened the door. As I opened the door, my brother vomited all over me. FML
Today, a fly landed on my face. Before I could even react, my brother "helpfully" punched it hard enough to both kill the fly and knock me out. FML
Today, I had to take my little brother to the pool. He acted like a brat the whole time, and when I told him we were leaving, he ran away, slipped, and hit his face on the tile floor. He told my dad and step-mom I punched him. They believed him, and I'm grounded for two months. FML
Today, I went to a river near my house. They have several swing ropes that you grab and then jump into the river. As I was about to let go of the rope, my leg got tangled and I was held underwater. My mom watched and laughed for a while before she came to help me. FML
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Top comments
perdix 31
He was looking for the infomercial on how to save drowning people, but got distracted by the Shake Weight one.
illmatic2 16
Wow, that's a really COLD thing to do. But don't let it bug you to much.
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Comments (108)
mintcar 10
Poor her indeed. I hate bugs as well.
XxMoonGirlAshomi 0
awwww, kick ur brother in the balls!!!!
T1A2Z3 35
For tossing a tiny insect onto her foot and not rescuing her from a backyard pool?
BroknBeatNScarrd 0
The attack of the bug-foot!
vansgirl327 0
beat his ass up! and throw him in the pool !:p
banananut 0
Your brother should really quit BUGGING you.
PunisherE1ite 0
fail
banananut 0
Really, really? Cause i thought that was hilarious!
WYK_fml 0
Yep, that was only you.
x_HELLo_tHERE_x 0
It was cute, but it would've been better if she was the 1st to say something like that.
Newenglandneisha 0
Brothers are Ass*holes. Put elax in one of his drinks
DocBastard 40
OP, stop being a ******* pussy. He's your brother - get revenge. I don't give a flying **** if you tell us about your worthless, good-for-nothing life on FML. Complaining about your empty life is what the site is all about. But don't expect sympathy. I fully expect an FML from your brother next week about how you killed his dog and put his head in his bed.
flossybaben 0
yeh the Aussie bugs are pretty freaky but what were you doing near a pool in the middle of winter?
starberries 0
It's in the southern hemisphere, dumbass. Anyway, it's not winter anywhere on the planet. It's fall in the northern hemisphere.
DocBastard 40
May I point out that flossy and OP are both Australian? So either she knows exactly what is going on there or she is completely clueless. I can't tell.
dragonaair 5
It's Summer... Not Winter...
yandel_fml 0
W i n.
TheRealFamilyGuy 5
weather here is actually shit atm, not freezing though. anyway back to the fml, stop bitchin and paddle bitch