Today, my boyfriend, whom I haven't heard from in a whole month, turned up at my door because it was apparently "steak and blowjob day." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, after a week of not seeing each other, my boyfriend asked if he could come over and hang out. He only came because he ran out of food at his house. FML
Today, my boyfriend called me over for dinner. When I walked in the door, he asked why I was here; apparently he dialed the wrong girlfriend. FML
Today, my boyfriend called me while I was at work. He sounded very excited and told me he had a surprise for me. He doesn't usually do this kind of thing, so I was excited. When I came home, I found him naked, with "Bone Appetite" written right above his penis. FML
Today, I wanted to surprise my boyfriend by showing up at his place unannounced with some take-out food. I got there just in time to see him leave his block of flats with another girl. FML
Today, my boyfriend's idea of foreplay was to offer to make lunch, leave the room for a few minutes, then come back with no clothes on and offer me a "cockmeat sandwich". FML
Today, my boyfriend came home and said he'd been fired from his minimum wage cashier job. He added that since I make enough to cover the bills, he wants to take a break from "working and shit." I stared at him, mouth agape, and he thought I was offering him a blowjob. FML
Today, my boyfriend, who lives 100 miles away and whom I haven't seen in 2 months, told me he was visiting my city with some friends. I assumed this was an opening to an invitation, but no, he just asked me about the best places to get drunk. FML
Today, my boyfriend stood me up. At dinner with his parents. FML
Today, I told my boyfriend that I love him. He responded by asking for a blowjob. FML
Today, my boyfriend took a day off from work because he felt "sick". I thought he might come see me since he hadn't come over in a while. Nope, he went to hang out with his ex instead. FML
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Top comments
your_ma 27
Eh how is he still your boyfriend anyway when you haven't seen or heard from him in a month?!
TeamKelly 10
Time for a new boyfriend...
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Comments (161)
uriaskm 2
That's your fault. How can he still be your boyfriend after you haven't heard from him in a while month!
skyeyez9 25
After a month of an abrupt break in communication, I would have assumed he dumped you, and had no balls to tell you he broke it off. Tell him to eat shit and go to hell.
Bunny21 11
What an asshole, sounds about time to bite a head off.
jamnglamgirlie 17
It's Pi day:D
97buble 1
Ahha the funniest about all this is that it actually is a real day! Google it!
icepick23 12
You sound like a selfish person. Ew.
BigSexy123 11
How is OP selfish? Her boyfriend - whom she hasn't heard from for a whole month - shows up at her door demanding steak and a *******. Your priorities are skewed, in the worst way.
SiHa00095 15
That's when you say "Go make me a steak and you can go give a hobo a ********"
xtineb15 6
man has got a point... it is steak and a ******** day...one month after valentines day...
Twisted_Angel 17
Sounds like my ex boyfriend. exactly a month went by, and he sent me a text acting like it was his phone acting up, eating his messages. You're better off without him.
megmichelle45 3
ydi for not dumping the fool. a whole month of no contact, seriously?