Today, my boyfriend, whom I haven't heard from in a whole month, turned up at my door because it was apparently "steak and blowjob day." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, after a week of not seeing each other, my boyfriend asked if he could come over and hang out. He only came because he ran out of food at his house. FML
Today, my boyfriend called me over for dinner. When I walked in the door, he asked why I was here; apparently he dialed the wrong girlfriend. FML
Today, my boyfriend called me while I was at work. He sounded very excited and told me he had a surprise for me. He doesn't usually do this kind of thing, so I was excited. When I came home, I found him naked, with "Bone Appetite" written right above his penis. FML
Today, I wanted to surprise my boyfriend by showing up at his place unannounced with some take-out food. I got there just in time to see him leave his block of flats with another girl. FML
Today, my boyfriend's idea of foreplay was to offer to make lunch, leave the room for a few minutes, then come back with no clothes on and offer me a "cockmeat sandwich". FML
Today, my boyfriend came home and said he'd been fired from his minimum wage cashier job. He added that since I make enough to cover the bills, he wants to take a break from "working and shit." I stared at him, mouth agape, and he thought I was offering him a blowjob. FML
Today, my boyfriend, who lives 100 miles away and whom I haven't seen in 2 months, told me he was visiting my city with some friends. I assumed this was an opening to an invitation, but no, he just asked me about the best places to get drunk. FML
Today, my boyfriend stood me up. At dinner with his parents. FML
Today, I told my boyfriend that I love him. He responded by asking for a blowjob. FML
Today, my boyfriend took a day off from work because he felt "sick". I thought he might come see me since he hadn't come over in a while. Nope, he went to hang out with his ex instead. FML
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Top comments
your_ma 27
Eh how is he still your boyfriend anyway when you haven't seen or heard from him in a month?!
TeamKelly 10
Time for a new boyfriend...
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Comments (161)
buckdharma 38
I'd settle for a hamburger and a hand-job.
KingCeltic77 18
It's a month after Valentines Day, which is for girls. Steak and ******* day is for men.
tatumdanielle 9
Wow great "boyfriend" you've got there, total gentlemen. Not talking to you for a month, then asking to get some action out of the blue, what a keeper!
tralala453 22
He's your boyfriend yet you haven't heard from him for a month?
ReepingHavoc 13
Damn it! I missed it again?!?!
CasualCalvin 13
How haven't you seen your boyfriend in a month?
Devilpie666 4
Best day of the year!!
imani132 6
If you haven't spoken to him in a month I don't think he's a boyfriend anymore
zonkeymaker 14
Haha I saw tht on twitter too! Steak and ******* day, who would've though, I didn't celebrate though
iceliebedich 7
no it's pi and ******* day ^.^ but sorry OP. dump his ass