Intimacy: Today, my boyfriend was over. I asked my dad how long until dinner...

By KatieB - 04/04/2012 21:11 - United Kingdom - Newark

Today, my boyfriend was over. I asked my dad how long until dinner was ready, his reply was, "Five minutes, so no, you can't go upstairs for a quickie". FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 629

You deserved it 7 354

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Same thing different taste

By liz1234 - 23/03/2009 00:11 - United States

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. His mom called to him from the next room telling him dinner would be ready soon, he needed to move his car, etc. They had a 5 minute conversation...while he was still inside me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 246

You deserved it 8 144

By mothtal - 03/06/2012 16:13 - Bulgaria

Today, my boyfriend picked me up to take me on a date. Just as we were about to drive away, my dad ran out of the house in his underwear and started yelling that he'd kill my boyfriend if I wasn't back home within the hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 580

You deserved it 2 270

In the heat of the moment

By B - 31/01/2012 20:36 - Netherlands

Today, I had a quicky with my boyfriend, because his dad was about to pick him up. Afterwards, I texted, "Nice to meet your dad, I hope we didn't look too horny." A few minutes later, he replied, "Great timing, he was holding my phone." FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 370

You deserved it 9 964

Not now!

By XxDiabolikalXx - 24/08/2010 07:30 - France

Today, while having dinner, my boyfriend decided to tell everyone about our sex life. It wouldn't have been too bad except my father was sitting right next to me. My boyfriend's excuse was that he wanted to make my dad laugh. He didn't laugh. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 862

You deserved it 4 342

By Oh God - 24/05/2018 06:00

Today, I met my new boyfriend’s family for the first time. Unfortunately for me, his dad walked in to ask what we wanted for dinner while we were having sex. Even worse was that my boyfriend kept going while his dad was there, and his dad later said he was glad I was “the woman”. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 164

You deserved it 1 466

By Anonymous - 22/05/2010 23:22 - United States

Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, my dad called my cell. He ended the phone call with, "and tell your boyfriend to shut up, I can hear him moaning." FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 591

You deserved it 47 255

Nope out of there

By twintowers - 04/07/2009 20:30 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were having phone sex. It got very wild and soon was interrupted by a knock on my door. My dad had come home early from work, and heard the whole thing. He demanded my boyfriend to come over, and he had a sex talk with him on the couch in front of the whole family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 452

You deserved it 23 294

Dad jokes!

By Chels - 11/05/2011 05:17 - Canada

Today, my boyfriend came over to have dinner with my parents. They got quite drunk, and my mom shouted at him, "Have you had sex with my daughter?" As he was shaking his head, my dad said, "I have" in a really creepy voice, thinking it would be funny. It wasn't. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 572

You deserved it 5 335

Priorities

By MacBook - 14/05/2009 19:43 - United States

Today, my dad was in town for a day. We only had about 3 hours to do something so we left right away. Right as we were about to leave my dad's slutty girlfriend came by for a "surprise visit". My dad told me he would be right back. They had sex for 2 hours and 45 minutes. In total, we talked for 15 minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 86 054

You deserved it 4 192

By wish.was.single - 25/01/2012 18:33 - Canada

Today, my boyfriend kept whining at me, asking why I wouldn't have sex with him, seemingly not caring that my parents were in the room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 126

You deserved it 5 693

MrKlutch 1

Thursday 5 April 2012 8:04

Plenty of time

Just_ol_Kole 0

Thursday 5 April 2012 8:11

Apparently your boyfriend's sister isn't the only one hearing those strange zombie noises coming from the bedroom...

Comments

KingCeltic77 18

Thursday 5 April 2012 15:59

It's called a quickie for a reason.

mgayle083 2

Thursday 5 April 2012 17:10

That's awesome..sucks he cockblocked u but still awesome!

beckyxD 13

Thursday 5 April 2012 17:50

That's something my dad would say, too :D

laurenmacias 0

Thursday 5 April 2012 17:58

Dads are awesome

Dnigz13 4

Thursday 5 April 2012 18:36

Your dad just **** blocked you and knows what's going on, and I wouldn't have listen and done it anyway

davek 36

Thursday 5 April 2012 19:39

Busted.

hqbrat 8

Thursday 5 April 2012 20:10

He caught you!

imccdgd 0

Thursday 5 April 2012 20:16

Go be a ****

AshleyAcid69 0

Thursday 5 April 2012 21:07

You can have a quickie with me ;)

CrookedFingaz 2

Thursday 5 April 2012 21:33

wish my dad waslike that

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Today, I was in the garden of my new house when a neighbour came over and told me to clear off or she would call the owner to tell them they were being burgled. When I told her I was the owner, she said I was clearly unsuitable to be living on this street, and to stop lying before she called the police. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 219

You deserved it 137

Today, I went to get my first manicure. While waiting, I looked at the menu board. When I wondered aloud: "I know what a French manicure is, but what on Earth is a Polish change?" The whole place started laughing and I guess I'm not going back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 784

You deserved it 1 624

Today, I got into a staring contest with my dog. I actually cheered when I won. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 432

You deserved it 12 461

Today, I was taking a placement test for the new college I am going to. After the test and picking up a few numbers, I left with great pride. I opened the door and started walking out. I then realized that I had walked into the closet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 487

You deserved it 27 964

Today, I found out my boyfriend and I have more in common than I thought. We both are sexually attracted to men. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 337

You deserved it 3 881

Today, I parked my car, went to pay for my spot, and returned to my car only to find a parking violation ticket tucked under the windshield wipers. This all happened in less than a minute. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 710

You deserved it 1 997