Today, my boyfriend tried to cure me of my snake phobia by buying one. When he took it out of the cage, it bit him. Now he's terrified of them too. Even worse, he dropped the snake, so it's now loose in our house. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I tried to impress the guy I like. He breeds reptiles, and I happen to have a snake and a lizard. I went over to his house to show them off. He opened the door just as my lizard fell between my boobs. He had to help me get it out. FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me for refusing to have anything to do with "our" pet snake. The same snake I told him not to buy for his son a few months ago, because I knew the kid would get bored with it and dump the responsibility onto us. FML
Today, my girlfriend bought me a pet tarantula. I now have one of my biggest fears crawling around my house. FML
Today, I woke up to an angry snake trying to climb the leg of my bed. My bedroom was closed all day yesterday. It must have gotten in my room days ago. FML
Today, my cat decided to show me just how much he loves me by bringing a live snake into my bedroom. Thanks. FML
Today, I went into my room and found a plastic snake on the floor. I yelled out to my sister, "Good one, Ellen!" I picked up the snake to take it to show her. The snake started moving in my hands and bit me. I had to go to the hospital. FML
Today, my 6 ft snake got loose. I found it. It was in my neighbor's backyard, constricting their pet rabbit. FML
Today, as I was rushing to get out for work, I opened my door just in time to witness a large snake slither into my home. I had no choice but to lock it inside and go to work. I've now spent several hours searching for it with my friends, and we can't find it. I'm scared to go to sleep. FML
Today, I finally gave in and agreed to try holding my girlfriend's pet tarantula. The moment I did, it bit me. According to her she’s had him 4 years and he’s never so much as nipped her, never mind a full bite. Lucky me. My hand is twice the normal size and I can feel my heartbeat in it. FML
Today, I kicked my dog's toy snake out of my way. Then I realised my dog doesn't have a toy snake. FML
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Top comments
xthetisx 0
He must be cute, because he's deffinitly not smart
roseydot 0
Guess facing your fears was a load of crap in this case. FYL
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Comments (183)
ewe1234 5
a 2 liter bottle.... put it in the middle of your house and the snake will slither into it during the night.... idk why but it works
klonopin_ftw 0
94, that's because you have no sense of humor. and, as your response proved to all of us, you are too serious to actually be responding to a boners comment. please, learn your place in the fml universe. for if you do not, we shall release the plague of constant trolling upon you.
im_awsome 2
helll noo i dont mess wit snakes . >.<
houstontxmex 0
for all you cute female snake lovers, I have a really nice one if you ever want to stroke it. :D
july7799 0
o I am so sorry !! that is gross! I hate snakes too!
POPO28_fml 0
this kid has some nice jokes. seriously.
darkdazeys 0
Your boyfriend is an idiot, that's a stupid reason to buy any pet. Snakes like dark, quiet, warm, areas. Try looking there for your snake before you do something more dumb, like fumagate.
lmaoinyourface 0
lol maybe you should try to catch it? cover its ead and pick it up, THEN return it lol
lidemocr 0
oh hell no. Uh-Uh get out now. I totally feel your pain
MrCoolPants 7
48 - Haha escape the fate