Today, my boyfriend tried to cure me of my snake phobia by buying one. When he took it out of the cage, it bit him. Now he's terrified of them too. Even worse, he dropped the snake, so it's now loose in our house. FML
Collection
Black Friday
70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Today, I tried to impress the guy I like. He breeds reptiles, and I happen to have a snake and a lizard. I went over to his house to show them off. He opened the door just as my lizard fell between my boobs. He had to help me get it out. FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me for refusing to have anything to do with "our" pet snake. The same snake I told him not to buy for his son a few months ago, because I knew the kid would get bored with it and dump the responsibility onto us. FML
Today, my girlfriend bought me a pet tarantula. I now have one of my biggest fears crawling around my house. FML
Today, I woke up to an angry snake trying to climb the leg of my bed. My bedroom was closed all day yesterday. It must have gotten in my room days ago. FML
Today, my cat decided to show me just how much he loves me by bringing a live snake into my bedroom. Thanks. FML
Today, I went into my room and found a plastic snake on the floor. I yelled out to my sister, "Good one, Ellen!" I picked up the snake to take it to show her. The snake started moving in my hands and bit me. I had to go to the hospital. FML
Today, my 6 ft snake got loose. I found it. It was in my neighbor's backyard, constricting their pet rabbit. FML
Today, as I was rushing to get out for work, I opened my door just in time to witness a large snake slither into my home. I had no choice but to lock it inside and go to work. I've now spent several hours searching for it with my friends, and we can't find it. I'm scared to go to sleep. FML
Today, I finally gave in and agreed to try holding my girlfriend's pet tarantula. The moment I did, it bit me. According to her she’s had him 4 years and he’s never so much as nipped her, never mind a full bite. Lucky me. My hand is twice the normal size and I can feel my heartbeat in it. FML
Today, I kicked my dog's toy snake out of my way. Then I realised my dog doesn't have a toy snake. FML
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Top comments
xthetisx 0
He must be cute, because he's deffinitly not smart
roseydot 0
Guess facing your fears was a load of crap in this case. FYL
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Comments (183)
Natalie403 6
EPIC
teeheelicious 2
your bro sounds really smart
ttlyfmlduh 6
wow what an idiot
K208 0
Hilarious!!
flychick95 3
oh dear lord /:
vgameson 0
nerds are hot
supernova901 2
just be glad it didn't bite you in the ****.
kinga08 0
This is actually pretty ******* funny because the Bronx Zoo here in NYC has reported that a deadly 20 inch cobra has disappeared. Apparently it's roaming around somewhere in the reptile/snake building and they've shut that section of the zoo down. I wouldn't be able to sleep until that snake is found, good luck OP!
tenniscrazy2 6
OMG, that's so scary, I'm TERRIFIED of snakes. FYL =(
JoshK9030 0
and you somehow manage to find time to write an fml about it instead of trying to find it.