Today, my boyfriend tried to cure me of my snake phobia by buying one. When he took it out of the cage, it bit him. Now he's terrified of them too. Even worse, he dropped the snake, so it's now loose in our house. FML
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Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I tried to impress the guy I like. He breeds reptiles, and I happen to have a snake and a lizard. I went over to his house to show them off. He opened the door just as my lizard fell between my boobs. He had to help me get it out. FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me for refusing to have anything to do with "our" pet snake. The same snake I told him not to buy for his son a few months ago, because I knew the kid would get bored with it and dump the responsibility onto us. FML
Today, my girlfriend bought me a pet tarantula. I now have one of my biggest fears crawling around my house. FML
Today, I woke up to an angry snake trying to climb the leg of my bed. My bedroom was closed all day yesterday. It must have gotten in my room days ago. FML
Today, my cat decided to show me just how much he loves me by bringing a live snake into my bedroom. Thanks. FML
Today, I went into my room and found a plastic snake on the floor. I yelled out to my sister, "Good one, Ellen!" I picked up the snake to take it to show her. The snake started moving in my hands and bit me. I had to go to the hospital. FML
Today, my 6 ft snake got loose. I found it. It was in my neighbor's backyard, constricting their pet rabbit. FML
Today, as I was rushing to get out for work, I opened my door just in time to witness a large snake slither into my home. I had no choice but to lock it inside and go to work. I've now spent several hours searching for it with my friends, and we can't find it. I'm scared to go to sleep. FML
Today, I finally gave in and agreed to try holding my girlfriend's pet tarantula. The moment I did, it bit me. According to her she’s had him 4 years and he’s never so much as nipped her, never mind a full bite. Lucky me. My hand is twice the normal size and I can feel my heartbeat in it. FML
Today, I kicked my dog's toy snake out of my way. Then I realised my dog doesn't have a toy snake. FML
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Top comments
xthetisx 0
He must be cute, because he's deffinitly not smart
roseydot 0
Guess facing your fears was a load of crap in this case. FYL
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Comments (183)
leeshxx 3
boners u never cease to make me laugh
PassTheDutch 0
I think your boyfriend needs to man up.
Huggz30 0
Ok my little brother has a pet snake. Here is what u do: snakes love heat so put out a heating rock, the lower the better bc it's going 2 go down not up. It's going 2 go 2 the hottest spot it can find in the house. Hate 2 tell u this, but sometimes that's a human or another pet.
Huggz30 0
When u go 2 pick it up be careful bc it's more afraid then u r it's going 2 doing anything 2 pretext it's self. Put something on ur hands. It may have just bet him bc it's huggery so he needs 2 feed it or it's not use 2 being held by people yet.
teura_fml 0
Lol. It'll find you eventually
SmallyBigs 9
I really don't find his comments funny... Anyways, to solve the problem, buy mice and let them free. when then snake is nice and fat, you'll find him.
benny92 0
I am so sorry .....I WOULD FLIP A SHIY
ColdPenguin 0
you should bet on which one of you gets bit next
marcus808 0
bomb the house
dansco 25
Total fail! He should've taken you somewhere there were snakes with professionals looking after them! Time for pest control!