Today, my boyfriend tried to cure me of my snake phobia by buying one. When he took it out of the cage, it bit him. Now he's terrified of them too. Even worse, he dropped the snake, so it's now loose in our house. FML
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70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Today, I tried to impress the guy I like. He breeds reptiles, and I happen to have a snake and a lizard. I went over to his house to show them off. He opened the door just as my lizard fell between my boobs. He had to help me get it out. FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me for refusing to have anything to do with "our" pet snake. The same snake I told him not to buy for his son a few months ago, because I knew the kid would get bored with it and dump the responsibility onto us. FML
Today, my girlfriend bought me a pet tarantula. I now have one of my biggest fears crawling around my house. FML
Today, I woke up to an angry snake trying to climb the leg of my bed. My bedroom was closed all day yesterday. It must have gotten in my room days ago. FML
Today, my cat decided to show me just how much he loves me by bringing a live snake into my bedroom. Thanks. FML
Today, I went into my room and found a plastic snake on the floor. I yelled out to my sister, "Good one, Ellen!" I picked up the snake to take it to show her. The snake started moving in my hands and bit me. I had to go to the hospital. FML
Today, my 6 ft snake got loose. I found it. It was in my neighbor's backyard, constricting their pet rabbit. FML
Today, as I was rushing to get out for work, I opened my door just in time to witness a large snake slither into my home. I had no choice but to lock it inside and go to work. I've now spent several hours searching for it with my friends, and we can't find it. I'm scared to go to sleep. FML
Today, I finally gave in and agreed to try holding my girlfriend's pet tarantula. The moment I did, it bit me. According to her she’s had him 4 years and he’s never so much as nipped her, never mind a full bite. Lucky me. My hand is twice the normal size and I can feel my heartbeat in it. FML
Today, I kicked my dog's toy snake out of my way. Then I realised my dog doesn't have a toy snake. FML
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Top comments
xthetisx 0
He must be cute, because he's deffinitly not smart
roseydot 0
Guess facing your fears was a load of crap in this case. FYL
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Comments (183)
mrwhiz 0
funny cuz you still had time to write that fml while a snake in your house!!!
kittycatman2 3
You might be better off if you just give Einstein some chalk and let play in the street while you get your daddy to remove the snake. Next time get a boyfriends who's knuckles don't drag the ground behind him. Just sayin' #Thatisall!
Wiggy_78 0
Oh wow, what an idiot. Lol
creedaddict 9
lmfao ...
Leftieswillrule 3
why the **** are you trying to change your boyfriend? don't you love him the way he is? take a lesson from Billy Joel...
Gulan 0
Re-read it again. The boyfriend was trying to cure HER phobia. Lol
Leftieswillrule 3
yup I reread that. ******* dumbass boyfriend
LexxyLiime 0
LOLOLOLZ.
LauraJayne 0
LOL I have a snake!
Miss_Birthday 3
I has a PWNsome snake =D Anyways, that snake probably already slid outta your house already so stop complaining. YDI for hatin' on snakes =P
kykyshay 0
snakes are NASTY!
oakhan34 0
so this is the dumbass that let the cobra out in the Bronx Zoo, eh? Jk