Today, my boyfriend tried to cure me of my snake phobia by buying one. When he took it out of the cage, it bit him. Now he's terrified of them too. Even worse, he dropped the snake, so it's now loose in our house. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I tried to impress the guy I like. He breeds reptiles, and I happen to have a snake and a lizard. I went over to his house to show them off. He opened the door just as my lizard fell between my boobs. He had to help me get it out. FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me for refusing to have anything to do with "our" pet snake. The same snake I told him not to buy for his son a few months ago, because I knew the kid would get bored with it and dump the responsibility onto us. FML
Today, my girlfriend bought me a pet tarantula. I now have one of my biggest fears crawling around my house. FML
Today, I woke up to an angry snake trying to climb the leg of my bed. My bedroom was closed all day yesterday. It must have gotten in my room days ago. FML
Today, my cat decided to show me just how much he loves me by bringing a live snake into my bedroom. Thanks. FML
Today, I went into my room and found a plastic snake on the floor. I yelled out to my sister, "Good one, Ellen!" I picked up the snake to take it to show her. The snake started moving in my hands and bit me. I had to go to the hospital. FML
Today, my 6 ft snake got loose. I found it. It was in my neighbor's backyard, constricting their pet rabbit. FML
Today, as I was rushing to get out for work, I opened my door just in time to witness a large snake slither into my home. I had no choice but to lock it inside and go to work. I've now spent several hours searching for it with my friends, and we can't find it. I'm scared to go to sleep. FML
Today, I finally gave in and agreed to try holding my girlfriend's pet tarantula. The moment I did, it bit me. According to her she’s had him 4 years and he’s never so much as nipped her, never mind a full bite. Lucky me. My hand is twice the normal size and I can feel my heartbeat in it. FML
Today, I kicked my dog's toy snake out of my way. Then I realised my dog doesn't have a toy snake. FML
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Top comments
xthetisx 0
He must be cute, because he's deffinitly not smart
roseydot 0
Guess facing your fears was a load of crap in this case. FYL
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Comments (183)
chickletno1 0
and u are writing on FML? clearly u are not that worried about it.
Sha41491 0
how does she deserve this? jerk offs
xXxJaGsTeRxXx 11
At least the rat problems in your house are solved :)
ndvorsky 4
snakes are not effective rat removers, they eat once every few weeks
GTFL_Later 0
call Harry potter he can talk to snakes
wintersrose 0
you guys evidently were not prepared. the person who you bought the snake from should have told you that some snakes need some time to adjust to their new habitat. I bought my snake about 6 months ago and it took her about a week before she came out of hiding. get someone to find the snake and then give it a good home. what type of snake is it? first timers (like you and me) should start with corn snakes. if you keep it: pick it up at least once every two days preferably every day, and don't hold it when it is shedding or two days after feeding.
SmallyBigs 9
104, I have a very good sense of humor. But what I find funny is all the fan boys defending him. Yeah he has a few funny jokes, but I like how he's like a god to you people. So go ahead, troll me. :]
t1mmy_168 0
Better call Samuel L Jackson
Randuhh_17 4
no! I'm highly afraid of snakes, so bad I can't even look at a picture of them..(you shoulda seen me in biology, my teacher put me in the seat next to the snake cage.) my boyfriends ass would be stayin home alone with that bitch, bc you surely wouldn't catch me there.like he is dr Phil, tryin to cure phobias...dumbass.
MrFingerz 0
Wow! That's ****** up shit, right there!
SoldieroftheLORD 0
Sorry but your bf is an idiot with no idea how to take care of animals.