Today, my boyfriend tried to cure me of my snake phobia by buying one. When he took it out of the cage, it bit him. Now he's terrified of them too. Even worse, he dropped the snake, so it's now loose in our house. FML
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Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I tried to impress the guy I like. He breeds reptiles, and I happen to have a snake and a lizard. I went over to his house to show them off. He opened the door just as my lizard fell between my boobs. He had to help me get it out. FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me for refusing to have anything to do with "our" pet snake. The same snake I told him not to buy for his son a few months ago, because I knew the kid would get bored with it and dump the responsibility onto us. FML
Today, my girlfriend bought me a pet tarantula. I now have one of my biggest fears crawling around my house. FML
Today, I woke up to an angry snake trying to climb the leg of my bed. My bedroom was closed all day yesterday. It must have gotten in my room days ago. FML
Today, my cat decided to show me just how much he loves me by bringing a live snake into my bedroom. Thanks. FML
Today, I went into my room and found a plastic snake on the floor. I yelled out to my sister, "Good one, Ellen!" I picked up the snake to take it to show her. The snake started moving in my hands and bit me. I had to go to the hospital. FML
Today, my 6 ft snake got loose. I found it. It was in my neighbor's backyard, constricting their pet rabbit. FML
Today, as I was rushing to get out for work, I opened my door just in time to witness a large snake slither into my home. I had no choice but to lock it inside and go to work. I've now spent several hours searching for it with my friends, and we can't find it. I'm scared to go to sleep. FML
Today, I finally gave in and agreed to try holding my girlfriend's pet tarantula. The moment I did, it bit me. According to her she’s had him 4 years and he’s never so much as nipped her, never mind a full bite. Lucky me. My hand is twice the normal size and I can feel my heartbeat in it. FML
Today, I kicked my dog's toy snake out of my way. Then I realised my dog doesn't have a toy snake. FML
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Top comments
xthetisx 0
He must be cute, because he's deffinitly not smart
roseydot 0
Guess facing your fears was a load of crap in this case. FYL
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Comments (183)
WhateverFloatsYo 0
your boyfriend probably was like, shit! screamed and trapped you in the room with the snake
calebpva 0
So that's what they call my penis these days!
QueenOfBoredom 0
ohhh nice!
vgameson 0
I spank myself lmao
iMuffinTop 0
lmao
mazesm 11
Haha
thepirate19 3
date a moron and that's what you get. congrats.
bstha_fml 0
true
IdontWanna69 8
Hey you should watch Snakes on a Plane, that will calm your nerves :D
randomreader2315 4
Both of them should be locked in a small room with a 10-foot reticulated python.
greenlantern27 6
Why was he trying to cure your snake phobia in the first place? Everyone has a phobia, it's no big deal.
cattykins 0
sounds like something a boyfriend would do...
unhappybitch 8
I hate snakes :(
HarveyHx 0
look honey theres nothing to be (bites) ARGG **** Hold me :(
wisericky 12
your boyfriend it retarded, throwing you in a snake mating frenzy would be much more effective.
ilyfrenchiee 0
smart ass!
james_aka_frosty 3
or a handbag