Intimacy: Today, my boyfriend told me he loved me for the first time. He... - FML

By Anonymous - 19/04/2010 20:36 - United States

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend told me he loved me for the first time. He followed it with, "Want to try anal?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 690

You deserved it 9 748

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 29/12/2010 11:25 - United States

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend told me he loved me for the very first time in three years. Apparently, all it took was anal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 698

You deserved it 13 306

By not impressed - 09/10/2015 18:27 - Canada - Nanaimo

Spicy

Today, I told my boyfriend that I love him. He replied, dead serious, "That's nice and all, but anal speaks louder than words." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 359

You deserved it 4 617

By Picaresque - 26/02/2009 17:57 - United States

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to try anal sex. When he was done, I turned around to see him holding a strap-on with a smile on his face and said 'Now, do me'. FML

I agree, your life sucks 286 075

You deserved it 68 251

Nice try, chief

By Anonymous - 04/04/2011 01:46 - United States

Spicy

Today, while discussing having sex for the first time with my boyfriend, I asked what method of birth control we should use. He replied, "Anal." FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 013

You deserved it 15 203

The best method!

By Anonymous - 04/01/2020 18:00

Spicy

Today, while discussing having sex for the first time with my boyfriend, I asked what method of birth control we should use. He replied, "Anal." FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 013

You deserved it 967

By Anonymous - 23/02/2013 18:27 - Denmark - Copenhagen

Spicy

Today, after months of a very healthy sex life with my boyfriend, he asked me to let him try anal. I'm dead-set against it, so I tried to let him down easy by jokingly saying that I would, but only if he let me try it on him first. He said, "Sure." Fuck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 325

You deserved it 48 698

By Anonymous - 14/03/2011 19:16 - United States

Spicy

Today, I told my boyfriend that I love him. He responded by asking for a blowjob. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 022

You deserved it 14 604

Non sequitur

By lisacasabonita - 12/11/2010 16:31 - United States

Spicy

Today, while at dinner, I told my boyfriend that I wished he liked sushi. He replied, "I wish you liked anal." FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 239

You deserved it 42 528

Sexy talk

By hamburger - 06/07/2013 21:21 - United States - Adrian

Spicy

Today, my husband wanted to try anal for the first time. His attempt to sound romantic was him saying, "Open your buns, the meat is ready." FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 335

You deserved it 8 510

What what?

By Anonymous - 12/04/2022 16:00

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend stuck his finger in my butt and I liked it, but I can’t ever tell him that or he’ll get that smug look on his face like, “I told you so, let’s have anal now.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 519

You deserved it 1 499

Next

Top comments

cynima 0

Tuesday 20 April 2010 3:03

It's the logical next step.

OGReaper 2

Tuesday 20 April 2010 3:15

well if he thinks he deserves anal for saying he loves you. it makes me wonder what he thinks he deserves if he were to propose.

Comments

extradorkyloser 4

Tuesday 15 March 2011 3:55

I would have said "sure, but I'll have to go home and get my strap-on"

mandi625 0

Saturday 2 April 2011 3:24

What a douche. I hope you dumped that jerk after that.

Majinveggie10 0

Sunday 8 May 2011 18:51

and your response?

coolpwnagedude 0

Wednesday 22 June 2011 4:34

not all relationships are about what happens In the bed. Its an honor and privilege for someone to love you not because they want to ^do things in bed. Im a guy ^so I would know it's not about that. my advice: dump the sex maniac.

TNLove 0

Sunday 5 February 2012 6:40

That would be an EX....

markiemark303 2

Tuesday 6 March 2012 19:48

Sounds like a compliment to me

BVBarmyForever 0

Thursday 19 April 2012 3:54

He only said he loved you so you'd sleep with him. I hope you bitch-slapped his face!!

SkoomaKi 27

Sunday 13 May 2012 18:05

Very sly of him. It's an honest question. It's up to you OP.

SkoomaKi 27

Monday 11 June 2012 22:49

Well, do you?

mikef6919 3

Wednesday 5 December 2012 0:01

Go for it

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Today, I overheard my female coworkers huddling in the breakroom, rating the male coworkers from hottest to least. My manager is, “Probably packing, teehee.” The new kid, “has a girlfriend but that won’t stop me.” They unanimously agree that I’m, “friendly but probably lowkey a creep.” FML

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Today, I had a soccer game. A player from the other team hit me in the face. In the next half, she was the goalie and I was determined to score on her. When I finally got my chance to, everyone cheered, until I kicked the ball into the goal post and it bounced back and hit me in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 885

You deserved it 8 909

Today, my boyfriend tried to use the “It’s my birthday” excuse to get access to my booty hole. Last time he used the “My favourite aunt died” excuse, and before that, the night of our fourth date, he used the “I’m drunk and can’t find the right hole” excuse. Take the hint, no means never. FML

I agree, your life sucks 698

You deserved it 285

Today, I've known for a long time that I generally only wake up at ungodly hours in the night when something is wrong with me. Since last week, I've been doing this pretty much every night. Only now, I can't figure out what's wrong. Consequently, my anxiety is now keeping me awake too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 822

You deserved it 183

Today, despite doing extra credit, staying after class to have one-on-one tutoring with the TA, doing online tutoring and watching YouTube videos, I still absolutely cannot do math! I’ve been reduced to bribing my nephew to do my work for me. I’m in college. He’s in 7th grade. FML

I agree, your life sucks 838

You deserved it 402

Today, while fighting with a girl I hate, my nose piercing got a little loose and I ended up snorting it in. That same girl had to take me to the hospital for surgery. She told everyone afterwards. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 135

You deserved it 1 178