Today, my boyfriend told me he doesn't like cuddling in bed because he hates rebreathing his own carbon dioxide. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Same thing different taste
Thrashing
Today, I asked my boyfriend why he never wants to sleepover anymore. He said he loves me, but that sleeping next to me is like sleeping next to someone reenacting the crucifixion while being mauled to death by squirrels. So much for cuddling through the night. FML
Today, my boyfriend informed me that sharing a bed with me was like sleeping with a seizing cat. FML
Today, I was cuddling my boyfriend before going to bed. He farted really loud and spat in my face as he laughed. FML
Today, I realize that my boyfriend's breath quite literally smells like a sewer. It wouldn't be so bad, except that he tries to kiss me about every ten minutes, and I have to hold my breath. FML
Class act
Today, I hung out with my boyfriend for the first time in two weeks. We were cuddling on the couch when he suddenly stands up. I thought he was going to hug me, but then he turned around, pinned my shoulders back so I couldn't move, and farted in my face. FML
Today, I had an asthma attack while in bed with my boyfriend. He interrupted my desperate coughing only to tell me to shut up. He then rolled over to go back to sleep. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me that he hasn't showered in over a week, because he "doesn't like to be wet." FML
Today, my boyfriend endearingly told me that he's been taking advantage of my inability to smell due to a head cold, and he's been farting around me whenever he pleases. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were lying in bed together, and I was in a snuggly mood. I rolled over to gaze lovingly into his eyes and whisper sweet nothings to him in the darkness. His response? "Dear God! Did somebody fart in your mouth?!" FML
Who are these people ?
Today, my boyfriend informed me that he hasn't showered in over a week because he "doesn't like to be wet." FML
Top comments
xx000o 27
Inform him that the couch is a CO2 free zone.
TrippingOnAcid 29
Have him be little spoon
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (56)
fallekskies 3
I hate breathing both his and my own carbon dioxide. Lol I'm always the little spoon and only lay my head in his chest or shoulder rarely.
open_secrets 15
no cuddling=no sex ?
Stuffaluffagus 25
I have the same problem. And my boyfriend doesn't seem to get the breathing out of your nose concept and breathes all over my face
Adrianster 7
I actually have a similar problem. When I'm really up close with someone the air gets really hot and breathing is a bitch. Typically have to position my head in a way I get fresh air. I've actually been unintentially smothered once by someone's head lol
heroqucas 25
You got a real genius XD
Lollerskates 13
if he is claustrophobic that may explain it. I get weird like that sometimes