Today, my boyfriend started watching The Big Bang Theory on DVD. Now he won't stop saying "Bazinga" every time he says or hears something that sounds funny. It's so annoying I want to feed him to the neighbor's dog. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my dog is much too fond of barking at me loudly and at length for no reason. So is my girlfriend. FML
Today, I felt frisky, so I went over to my boyfriend's place, hoping to have some fun. I brought over a movie, and part-way through it, I started feeling him up. He responded by sighing, "That's really fucking annoying, babe. Cut it out, yeah?" FML
Today, after watching an episode of New Girl, my boyfriend became obsessed with the "Cotton-eyed Joe" song. He won't stop playing it. FML
Today, I was watching a movie with my boyfriend. His dog, Baxter, has a bad farting problem. I decided it would be okay to let a silent fart out and blame the dog. Baxter was outside when I blamed him. FML
Today, my boyfriend decided he was going to narrate everything I do. I can't get him to stop. FML
Today, my boyfriend admitted to subtly encouraging me to do stupid things because he finds my "bimbo moments" hilarious. FML
Today, I was watching our regular show on Netflix with my boyfriend. I made a remark about one of the male leads having nice abs. My boyfriend is so pathetically insecure that he threw a fit and is refusing to finish the show since he claims I find the actor more attractive than him. FML
Today, I finally got my boyfriend to watch one of my favorite TV shows. I was excitedly talking when he interrupted me and angrily said, "Can you stop with the fucking spoilers?" I then realized I'd spoiled half the show. He left to play video games. FML
Today, my live-in boyfriend spent yet another evening trying to bait Twitch streamers into a debate about stuff he barely understands. He's obsessed with "growing his audience", and I'm getting tired of his bullshit. FML
Today, trying to get some much needed rest, I heard my neighbors fighting loudly. When they finally quit, they left a DVD on, directly behind my wall: Spongebob, with the menu tune on loop. FML
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Top comments
xlord 27
at least he isn't saying LOL everytime he hears something funny.
ariverperson 11
write your own version of the roommate agreement and make his life hell!
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Comments (139)
jcbinglis 7
That show is one of the stupidest things I've seen. Forget the dog go straight to the trash compactor.
JT1996_fml 12
Well at least you now know how Leonard feels
perdix 31
You'd better stop him before he becomes like Raj and can't speak to you unless he's drunk. Let's not even get started about moving in with Wolowitz' mother.
SonOfAMitch 14
HOOOOOWAAAAARD!
shoping00 2
Does he know that sheldon is into men not women in real life?
fsomelife 26
Remind him that Sheldon never got laid.
Molski 5
My Grandad does this.. He also tries to laugh like Sheldon. And lately he's taken to doing the *knock knock knock* "Insert name here"
JerryH 9
Haha i know right?
TheFuckerofShit 16
I wanted to buy a Bazinga! shirt the other day. Man, Sheldon is awesome, and I want an eidetic memory like his.
crazytwinsmom 25
Does he make you sing Soft Kitty to him?
perdix 31
You'd better cut him off before he gets to the episodes with Amy Farrah Fowler in them. Mayim Bialik just field for divorce, so she's on the market for real. She's hard to compete against ;)